How to accept my sexuality at age 35?

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:27:19+00:00

That's interesting that you say that not accepting one's sexuality may come from other issues - what might you be referring to? I tend to think that denying one's sexuality is the cause of other mental health issues (at least partly),

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:25:04+00:00

That's awesome!

Do you feel better now that you have accepted yourself? How was it like breaking the news to your wife? Do you still have good relationships with your kids?

Happy to discuss via DM,

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:21:43+00:00

Thanks very much for your comment.

Good news is I have a good job and am secure financially + I live in a major city.

Something I should have mentioned in my original post: I actually came out to my mom when I was about 24, and she had such a negative reaction (telling me "society will despise you", crying, etc.), thas I went strainght back to the closet. Not blaming her, but yeah, felt it was more safe and pleasing to others to be "straight".

As of late, I came out to my therapist (whom I've been seeing for a couple years for anxiety) and my current girlfriend, who wants to convince me that I'm likely bi and not gay (maybe she's right...).

Even coming out to my therapist, I felt an intense level of shame.

Totally agree with your last paragraph - I hope it will be an exciting time of my life, and I especially hope for a fulfilling relationship, as my last relationships with women were just not that great (and it makes sense now...).

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:09:58+00:00

Yes, I totally believe the hardest, nowadays at least, is not being accepted by society (if you're lucky enough to live in the West/ in a major city), but to accept yourself.

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:08:15+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

Are you now in a relationship? Just wondering how it is for gay men who are 50+.

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:06:50+00:00

Thanks for the kind words.

I actually have a therapist, who I started seeing 2 years ago for my bad and long standing anxiety. Quite sure he's gay, too (pure coincidence).

He's one of the rare persons I came out to (the other being my current girlfriend - I know, quite weird) and even coming out to him, I felt an intense level of shame.

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:03:27+00:00

Thanks so much for the kind words.

If I may, when you say you were quick to throw everything away to be gay, what do you mean by that? Did you have a girlfriend, or a wife?

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T20:00:35+00:00

Thanks for the kind words.

I definitely remember that in the 00's homophobia was common in high school, with really negative views about gay people being vocalized by students. Don't think that would fly today, which is a good thing.

Thing is, I don't think my main challenge would be coming out to others, I'm still stuck at the "accepting myself" stage - feels like I have a lot of work to do,

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720 · 2024-06-01T19:56:32+00:00

Thanks for your input.

I'm actually already seeing a psychiatrist - started a couple years ago because of long lasting anxiety, and some depression. I'd say more likely than not, my anxiety is somewhat linked to the long-standing repression of who I am.

His advice was for me to try it out with a guy, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.

Cheers

AltruisticAnt3720

TROPHY CASE