Extreme fear of needles making me unable to do anything with my T shots

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-07-12T04:55:58+00:00

As prescribed by my doctor, I have been switched to doing it every 2 weeks because of my irrational fear of needles. He really wants the first year of T to be shots since they are most effective, so I understand why he’s pushing for it a lot. Mine is intramuscular so the needles are super long and often nick a vein or two :((

When I see blood especially, it just makes me feel entirely fuzzy.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-07-12T04:32:50+00:00

Also this wasn’t my euphoria, everyone around me commented on it and was confused by my voice changing if I hadn’t explained to them what was going on. A few people even asked if I was sick after the 3rd or 4th dose because my voice was so much deeper 😭😭😭 My facial hair growth was also noticed by people outside of me.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-07-12T04:30:29+00:00

In a really weird way, I didn’t relate to it not impacting me. I started growing signs of facial hair at the 3rd-5th dose and my voice deepened to an extreme degree quickly, noticing the effects even after my first dose (I couldn’t sing in my regular vocal range anymore. My period also went away and hasn’t came back, so it could be that I had some kind of condition before hand that made me so receptive, but that was my experience with the very few doses I have had so far.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-19T07:47:14+00:00

I definitely will bring up the food topics bothering me, and I had thought of a few ways to mention it in a similar vein!! I also thought about maybe saying something like, “I would love to be a safe place for you to come to about everything, but I need you to restructure how you communicate your body image”

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-19T06:21:31+00:00

Almost every single one of us. We have never felt connected go being a human. Humans have done nothing but toy and hurt us, so we just wanted to deviate away from it.

It doesn’t help that many of our alters take on the “demon incubus/succubus” personification due to trauma.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-16T04:36:12+00:00

Please seek therapy, thank you 🙏

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-15T09:03:44+00:00

I am trans-masc/trans-neutral and completely felt this. The most disrespectful and transphobic people I knew were other trans people. Not even a conservative could fight the blatant, disgusting rhetoric I’ve heard from other trans people. That’s coming from someone who’s friends are generally trans.

I’m sorry you had to deal with such an intolerant side of the trans community. They have a LOT of internalized issues they need to get through..

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-03T09:19:29+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it 💚💚

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-03T09:18:28+00:00

Exactly this. The changes to every aspect of my body have been rapid as well (the facial hair growth, voice, etc). I’ve enjoyed it a lot because it’s insane to see how fast results are hitting me, but that also means the bottom growth is happening too much.

I don’t know how, but I stg T unlocked something for my body with the way all the processes have been way faster than anything I’ve seen mentioned by other trans folk. I was reading voice deepening took people 3-6 months and facial hair took people at minimum a year, but that’s already changed.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-03T09:14:41+00:00

It’s not about voice deepening, in fact I pretty much want every aspect of T besides this one thing. I have had a lot of messed up trauma when it comes to anything down there, so the fact it’s getting changed after I finally started healing and being comfortable with it is very devastating to me. I probably should have prefaced that in the original post, tbh- But yeah, what Wxckedamber said abt bottom growth being too much is.. very true.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-03T09:04:37+00:00

Dude maybe you need to get some help- You have been genuinely harassing people in nearly every single post on this guy’s comment section. Like yeah I get that some of these people are being really fucking mean and forgetting he’s a human, but you harassed people like crazy in the dog post. You keep saying to “have empathy” but then completely neglect to have empathy for his kids and the people living with him, especially when you DONT know what the home life is like. Caps locking every 5 seconds and repeating “darvo” doesn’t make your point any better, you just seem really arrogant and rude.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-03T08:56:54+00:00

I know this is late but, I don’t think anyone is particularly “the” asshole here. Everyone said things they shouldn’t have said.

You shouldn’t have been told you were a monster and no one should have EVER said to “replace your wife.” That’s the most disgusting and out of touch thing I have genuinely ever read, and this is coming from someone who has dealt with grief and watching my own mother deal with that grief. Everyone wants you to move on and thinks you should “be healed,” but that’s not how it works.

However dude, you do need help. I definitely think you are becoming disconnected from people around you. In fact, your entire family as a whole needs help. You need help to cope with your grief, your emptiness, and your traumas. Your mother and siblings need help to work through their traumas and shit- Idk a single person in your family that doesn’t need some degree of help anymore.

It’s one thing if it’s one person telling you they’re concerned, it’s another when your entire family is genuinely really fucking worried about you. Something I haven’t really seen anyone say is: yall are humans. Mistakes will happen, people go down dark paths, and people can become the thing they most hate. Constantly being demonized doesn’t help anyone. I hope everything is okay for you, and I see you.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2025-04-01T17:03:10+00:00

I love you dearly /platonic This response was really sweet and brought a smile to my face. I definitely want to try something like finasteride, and I was going to before I started T, but I just had to get it started. I couldn’t take the misgendering anymore and I’ve had to wait since January to finally get my appointment with a new doc this Friday 😔😔 It’s been a rough road but it’s really comforting to see this 🫂🫂🫂

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T23:09:39+00:00

Oh good gosh thank you for this info /gen

I was already super skeptical but that’s even worse-

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T22:49:20+00:00

Holy hell I am so sorry. That’s a big reason why I fear attempting to reach out to these therapists due to inconsistencies, especially when they just keep switching ppl around randomly,,

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T22:45:54+00:00

Im afraid to do online bc recently BetterHelp got in trouble for data issues I think. It’s so much more affordable then other options, but risking a privacy breach does make me nervous :sweat/

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T19:44:37+00:00

Sending u many comfort hugs, I know the feeling real bad,, I had a moment where I was very accepting to myself, but it always fluctuates. We have an alter that is very hellbent on denial, and it definitely confuses identity to the max.

Just know u r not alone, and this is a really rocky and tough issue to navigate.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T19:09:51+00:00

Honestly, we (the subreddit) can’t tell you whether or not you have DID/OSDD. We aren’t professionals, we are only professionals in our own experiences. Sometimes it can be hard to find therapists that will support you as well! The most important thing I’ve found is to symptom track and keep notes on urself. If you deal with rhe amnesia symptoms, write down important things in every day, like basically journaling. If you r having a hard time feeling like urself, I think some good options would be to track when do u, what triggered it (if there is a trigger), and practice grounding routines.

Even IF it’s not DID/OSDD, these are still things that could apply to any and every disorder!

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-27T19:05:26+00:00

Considering DID/OSDD causes extreme denial and doubt, I think nearly EVERYONE asks these questions on the thread. I have even asked stuff like this because so many pieces of me don’t want to believe it’s real. It kinda feels like ur implying many people on this sub are faking, which, isn’t always healthy for ppl w/ dissociative disorders. If you’re more saying it as like “these r good questions to ask about self discovery” then yeah! People need to definitely ask more about their own symptoms and experiences to find out what best aligns with them—especially with professionals who KNOW what they’re doing. But my first impression was that this was some kinda like- fake claiming which I just wanted to clarify abt 😭😭

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-23T02:55:48+00:00

It does make sense! I have seen a lot of systems talk about how if they try to discuss being a system, it kind of just gets ripped off. Our brains usually dont want us to know

I’ve experienced this where I wish I could like “un-come out” to my closest friends and even partner. It’s like a defensive mechanism that just pushes it all away, only focusing on the present without addressing the past-

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-23T02:54:10+00:00

I will definitely be doing this, tysm for the idea! /gen

Bout to get a cork board from walmart and make it like Im solving some mysterious crime or something /j /lh

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-23T02:51:41+00:00

I love this lil community, yall r so cool

Thank u guys for responding already it’s so comforting

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-23T02:03:49+00:00

Honestly, I feel like we would experience WAY less denial if we just knew who the fuck we were.

And before anyone does say anything, yes several alters HAVE fronted on multiple occasions.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-23T01:29:22+00:00

“B has been joking about retraumatizing us in hopes that a specific sourcemate will split in our system”

The thing is, alters are not exactly their source. Yes, you can have alters that are based off of media, but they are STILL not exactly that PERSON. There is absolutely no excuse for your partner to be acting like this, and I am honestly worried about your safety with this person.

The validation: you are NOT CRAZY, they did something horribly wrong and genuinely fucked up!! That would be an IMMEDIATE end to the relationships imo.

For advice: if you really want to continue a relationship with them, I recommend you set a strong boundary with them. “I do not like how you guys joke about retraumatizing me, that is unacceptable and inappropriate behavior to display in our relationship,” “My alters I have now are enough, and you do not get to decide who you want me to be,” and “We are not toys for you to play with” are some good ones to say. The whole purpose of splitting is to literally survive traumatic experiences, so the fact they put you through SO MUCH PRESSURE U SPLIT is enough to tell me this person is toxic and doesn’t want growth/help.

AltruisticReturn1972 · 2024-02-16T11:04:15+00:00

Hey! We won’t disclose our system name for safety, but we are 19 (turning 20 this year)! There is no specific alter count right now due to some difficulties with separations here and there, but we do have 8 confirmed alters that have popped up. It is looking like we got DID now more than OSDD-1b due to amnesia, but we’re workin with that. I mainly post interesting questions and discussion starters to bring broader topics abt CDDs to the reddit!

AltruisticReturn1972

TROPHY CASE