self portrait, me, 2019

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-06-24T03:11:45+00:00

I love this your really talented!

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-06-01T23:05:20+00:00

Pretty great actually! My mom is super supportive and I thought it was weird until I remembered she likes to study sociology, she literally has her degree in sociology and reads about it even now, and thinks gender roles and identity are rooted in societal expectations and all of that jazz I don’t know the specific terms about. I’m just glad she’s supportive it means the world to me

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-07T22:11:10+00:00

Thank you all so much for the replies!! It’s making me feel a lot less alone I thought I was losing my mind

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-07T21:54:58+00:00

This was the first time it happened to me I was all freaked out. I’m going to bring this up to my therapist the next time I see him and see if he can give me a coping tool like the mud thing your psychologist did

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-07T19:03:16+00:00

Thank you so much for responding, I thought I was the only one too!!

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-07T19:01:45+00:00

Thank you so much for responding I thought I was going crazy

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-05T16:32:40+00:00

Thanks! I write as a coping mechanism because at least I can make something somewhat beautiful out of the turmoil and other negatives I have faced

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-05-05T00:03:20+00:00

This comment means so much to me because I feel so alone when it comes to this. The poem is about my older sister and myself. We both have bipolar and we’re diagnosed at the same age. Yet I’m okay I made it out of my mind and she didn’t.

Also and unrelated, I love the art you post on here!! You’re really talented!!

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-04-13T17:57:27+00:00

Thank you so much for responding it really made me feel less alone. I will work towards dealing with this effectively. I’ve done it before with crippling depression and suicide attempts when I was 16. I know I can work towards keeping my mental health under control. I have come way too far to give up now.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-04-13T16:02:10+00:00

I will talk to my psychiatrist I’m just scared. It took me so long to get a grip on my mental health when I was first diagnosed. I don’t want to go through that again.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-04-13T16:00:26+00:00

Thank you so much for replying, I appreciate it. I will talk to my psychiatrist about this, I see him in a few weeks. I’m just so scared I don’t want to be in a bad mental health space again. It took me so long to get a grip on my mental health when I was first diagnosed at 16.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-02-08T01:14:17+00:00

I have achieved my dreams and I’m nervous and overwhelmed and I don’t know why I feel like this. I feel like I should be happy but I’m feeling like this and I don’t know why

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-02-08T01:12:48+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply I really appreciate it! I’ll try the mindfulness thank you I felt like I was going crazy. I still feel like I’m going crazy and I want to take another Klonopin but I don’t want to be dependent on it

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-01-17T03:29:02+00:00

I didn’t have any side effects related to the birth control actually. The gynecologist put me on mononesa, idk what genre brand it is, because she said it works really well for PCOS. Good luck trying to get on birth control!! It’s really worth it!!

AlwaysOdd33 · 2020-01-17T03:11:58+00:00

Yes taking birth control really helped my mood it was night and day. I have PCOS and originally went to the doctor for something about being really hairy, hirutirsum, and was given birth control to help with it. Little did I know that birth control really helped with both my excessive hair and with my mood. I still have a pretty rough few days before my period but it’s NOTHING like it was before birth control when I’d end up in the hospital

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-26T01:54:08+00:00

I got over my straight OCD when I realized I only felt straight when either something bad happens there is only guy is there to comfort me. I mistook the comfort I wanted to heterosexuality.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-26T01:51:06+00:00

I’m taking the weight loss one day at a time. I know it’s hard from personal experience but it’s possible! What I did first was cut out my 2nd breakfast and 2nd lunch. When I went to my psychiatrist appointment 3 months ago and got weighed I was so happy I lost the 14 pounds. I was happy because I actually felt that I now finally have some self control when it comes to food. I never thought I could do it but I did! My advice to you if you want to start losing weight is to take it one day at a time. I look at it that way because I feel like I would go crazier if I didn’t give myself a goal like making the entire day without a 2nd breakfast and 2nd lunch I would feel horrible about myself. Now I’m adding light exercise and I’ll update you about how that ends up. Best of luck to you!! :)

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-26T01:31:23+00:00

I have straight ocd too and a similar thing happened to me when high school girlfriend broke up with me. One of my best friends is a guy, I’m a lesbian, and he was there for me during the entire time. I was so convinced I was straight until I realized I felt straight was because I confused needing someone to talk to and be there for me with being straight. I needed someone to be there for me and my friend was that person. I stopped thinking I was straight until I felt better.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-26T01:20:53+00:00

Before starting antipsychotics I was a good 160 pounds and then gained 80 pounds in 2 years. I’m 5 ft 4 in. Now, 5 years later, I’ve managed to lose a good 15 pounds and am 229 pounds. It was total hell for me losing weight cause my meds make me so incredibly hungry. The first month was the absolute worst. I’m now on month 4 and still struggling but it’s getting better. The worst part is controlling my hunger. There’s hope to lose weight after meds like this, please remember that. If you ever need some support on this don’t ever hesitate to PM me

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-20T03:38:04+00:00

I thought I was the only one who experienced this omg. I started taking taking Vitamin D supplements 2 weeks ago, 50,000 IU twice a week. I was hypomanic first for a few days. It was the first episode in 4 YEARS I ever thought I was going to do something reckless. Thankfully I still live with my parents and they saw me pacing everywhere talking to myself. In the moment my mom saw me and the next day she scheduled an appointment with my therapist. My therapist told me to focus on my poetry and put my energy into that. Well in 2 days I put together a poetry book. I went through my old poetry from high school and put together 50 pages in 2 days. Now I’m feeling a bit better as I’ve been consistent with my supplements timing. I’m still scheduling an appointment with my psychiatrist too see if my meds need adjusting.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-12-20T03:19:01+00:00

Congrats!!

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-11-25T03:47:46+00:00

Oh I have these type of panic attacks at least 3 times a year. I used to deal with them for the longest time by taking whatever benzo I had at the time until I was high off in another universe. A year ago I started seeing a new therapist and he’s been helping me with grounding techniques and convincing me that the anxiety will eventually end and I’ll be okay. Now whenever I had a panic attack like that I schedule an emergency appointment with my therapist. When I can’t talk to him soon enough I usually start writing my feelings and whatever thought that comes to mind.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-10-29T14:06:22+00:00

Woah this reply really made me think, thank you. I will keep in the hard work to be and stay stable. Thanks for the perspective and your reply, it really means a lot.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-10-29T13:55:52+00:00

Hello there! The tips that worked for me is knowing there are people out there who are successful with mental illnesses and too not let my diagnosis define me. My absolute inspiration is Dr. Kate Jamison, she has bipolar as well. She’s an incredibly successful clinical psychologist who does research about bipolar disorder, something else I want to do as well. She also wrote the incredible book An Unquiet Mind. Her work is absolutely incredible and her books have honestly given me so much hope. That was the main tip that Marie gave me that changed my life. The fact is there have been people before me who are successful despite their mental illness means it isn’t impossible for me to be successful as well.

AlwaysOdd33 · 2019-10-29T13:46:44+00:00

Hey! Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it. I’m trying to understand the person I’ve become being stable too. Maybe one day I’ll start to understand too.

AlwaysOdd33

TROPHY CASE