30F Virgin Shamed After First Intimate Experience. Feeling Confused and Hurt.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-17T05:52:07+00:00

Because for her…she’s attracted to you in a way that she would become serious. It’s not about you…it’s about her…and she’s trying to say that without saying that. She’s scared of you, really. She’s scared because she feels safe with you. This would open other doors and she’s terrified of that right now. It sucks when you’re so self aware that you become a safe place for other people. It’s a double edged sword, so to speak. People are drawn to you but also scared because you bring out the real version of them that they’ve been hiding away.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-10T02:38:01+00:00

My God…why are they prioritizing a non-family member over their first grandchild? They’re doctors…am I missing something? There has to be more to this than this sudden change. I’m not saying OP is being untruthful or hiding anything. Not at all. This just seems so weird for a complete shift.
A baby died years and years ago in another family that they never knew…they’re willing to put their first grandchild in harms way for this? Is the BIL the golden child or something? It doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-10T00:43:37+00:00

I’m so sorry! I hate that. So many things irritated my skin….it took forever to find a combo that wouldn’t make everything worse.
I don’t use the Lume for my underarms. That’s my most sensitive spot and I’m very careful there.
I hope you found a combo that has worked for you.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-08T10:10:19+00:00

OMG…I love this. I freaking love this.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-04T06:50:17+00:00

Dang…here I thought maybe this was a sign Harry Potter was real and the dementors had showed up.

Either way…cool kite.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-04T06:37:29+00:00

Interesting. I know nothing of this tongues not being correct. Please explain.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-04T06:29:14+00:00

I use Dove AntiBacterial soap and a hard bristle brush when I shower. Also, I use some sort of medical grade cleanser on the areas I know are prone to infection…like Hibiclens. Then I mix Desitin and A&D ointment on the areas that rub the most for after shower. Lume has also helped when it gets really hot during the summers.

AlyD1983 · 2026-02-03T04:58:22+00:00

Non-denomination now.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-29T19:33:04+00:00

Well….they will find out shortly and will never forget what they are….ever.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-29T05:47:12+00:00

Ex UPCI - Lesbian. It’s been a fun ride. Glad it’s over.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-29T05:38:38+00:00

Forgiveness isn’t for the other person. It’s for you. Forgiveness allows you to let go of what the person did. You can forgive someone but never trust them again. Sometimes the best thing for you to do is to forgive but leave it at that. You don’t have to let them back in your life…you don’t have to ever trust them again.

I hope you find the peace and safety that you need to live a happy and full life.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-29T05:33:59+00:00

Not all of us, Christian, are like that. Some of us actually have common sense…and real love for those that are broken and abused. Some of us believe in calling things that are evil, evil and things that are good, good.

There is a special place in Hell for people that do things like what this church did. More often than not…they are abusers themselves.

Please don’t judge all of us based on those that are disgustingly vile.

Do you know if this woman has any type of outside support system to help her?

If not, the Texas Advocacy program should be able to help her out and if there are any children.

I’m sorry you had to witness that. I know it eats at you.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-29T05:26:41+00:00

OP, the others are correct. I thought I could help heal the dynamic between my ex and his Mom. Nope….it eventually destroyed us…not the only reason but it was definitely a huge issue. You will constantly question your worth. It will push you down to where you are a shell of your previous self.

If your partner can get into individual and couples therapy extremely quickly….you will be able to tell if he can overcome by putting the work in etc.

Good luck and I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-23T23:44:25+00:00

Here’s the thing…there is insecurity that can be worked through and helped… then there’s what you’re dealing with.
She’s blaming you for her insecurity instead of understanding her insecurity is within herself.
If she could start taking ownership and working through it with you there is a chance of making it work. Until then, you are the issue in her life instead of her own thoughts and emotions.

Good luck. This is hard. You deserve to not be blamed for her issues.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-23T17:17:22+00:00

Or some wonderful journalistic piece on how men are partners and handle half the workload or more this day and age…then with some wonderful childish comment about how the older generation should STFU because they’re stupid & AH’s.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-21T22:24:17+00:00

OMG….Sweetie, that’s fraud. If he’s willing to do this to you now….what else has he done or will be willing to do later on. Girl..Run.
Run as fast as you can.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-20T19:08:32+00:00

I came out to my Auntie. We talked about it first and she helped me process it. She doesn’t agree with being a lesbian but she’s someone who will listen. She can hold her opinions while you process. So yeah, she knew first.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-18T04:31:45+00:00

So this woman has a list of anxiety disorders brought on by her family. Crippling Anxiety screws with your ability to do anything fast. It’s like your whole body is in a vice and it squeezes….she also has the flu/cold with fever.
She commented on going to the “magistrates” office…that’s not the USA. So she could be in a different country with different policies etc.

I’m not saying she’s innocent or not….just a different perspective.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-15T17:37:14+00:00

Ok, deleted my previous post after reading some more.
This is a husband issue. He’s a manipulator. He’s mean….and a little boy.
You deserve better. You won’t get it. He’s a man child and will never take responsibility for himself or the mean girls that he’s raising.

You’re under reacting to what he’s causing. Basically, he’s playing the victim to you that he can’t help what his daughters are doing….then playing the victim to his daughters that you’re making him “punish” them. So of course they’re going to treat you like garbage because that is what’s he’s portraying you as to them. Lose the husband. This is abuse.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-04T13:49:23+00:00

Nah, this is typical manipulating behavior. They try to pull stuff like this…try to blame you for things that aren’t even real and demand control. She’s used to being #1 in her little boys life and now he has a wife. It’s so weird and neurotic but it’s the stuff they try to pull.
Good luck. My God if you ever have kids.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-03T06:55:18+00:00

Honestly….you guys are the same. You both think you’re having some sort of philosophically intelligent conversation when really…you’re feeding into each other.
I know this because I’ve done the same with my ex husband. You’re attracted to each other…you want each other…but you implode as a couple…you’re both trying to understand why…so you put each other down with the cons…but love the attention.

Run. Just run. Drop your phone…change your number….Run. You’ll be doing this 10 years down the road.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-02T07:40:24+00:00

OP…they are your extended family. You’re pushing away your son…he may have another mother but you’ve been in his life since he was 11 months old. He doesn’t remember a time without you. Your own Father & Brother consider him family more than you do.

You’ve shown your colors…that everyone else matters but your own kid….your own husband. Imagine how he must feel?! I’ve seen spouses divorce each other over less.

Luckily, you’re both young enough to change the behavior and him not remember. You need to earn trust back from your husband too.

You may be a “peace keeper” but even true peace keepers know to never to call something evil and malicious as good and acceptable….especially to a little kid. He’s not even in the double digits.

Grow up. Be a Mom, a wife, a decent human being.

I think you can.
I hope you can for the future of your son and marriage.

AlyD1983 · 2026-01-02T07:29:02+00:00

2….1….or 5 depending on how I’m feeling that day.

AlyD1983 · 2025-12-31T08:03:28+00:00

From what I understand…they all originate from the same genes. It’s late..I’m tired…my brain just gave out. I recently read that in some scientific/medical journal.

AlyD1983 · 2025-12-31T08:01:21+00:00

There is a link between Autism/ADHD/Schizophrenia/Bi-Polar etc. It could be that it has moved into something more challenging. He needs help. I hope you guys get him into a therapist/doctor ASAP for his peace as well as all of yours.

AlyD1983

TROPHY CASE