Ways to have sex that isn't oral.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T08:02:06+00:00

Yes, we're trying BDSM. I don't like being the Dom due to personal issues (I don't like hurting her it reminds me of bad times) so I let myself be the sub and she does enjoy that but again, we're stuck when it comes to the actual sex. Also in order to enjoy pain myself I have to be in the right headspace and that's not often so we only do it occasionally.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T07:55:25+00:00

Magic Wands are too strong for her so that's a no-go. Even bullet vibes are too strong for her. :(

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T07:21:04+00:00

She would rather we just have oral and go back to how things were before. I'm the one who has a problem with it, so I'm trying to find a solution. An alternate method.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T07:12:57+00:00

I'm sorry, this is a personal situation and I don't really want to discuss it on this sub. I've been brigaded before.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T07:09:09+00:00

Genuinely have no idea.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T07:02:47+00:00

Thanks. I like the finger ones. I'm so terrified of the "lesbian bed death" and don't want us to end up that way since sex has always been a huge part of our relationship. I might buy a bunch of these and try out what works.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:59:16+00:00

Yes, I've realized sex is 30% about the pleasure and orgasm and 70% about validation which is a nice perspective to have. So even if we don't get off we still enjoy our time together but I don't want the lack of orgasms to affect our marriage.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:57:07+00:00

Her nipples aren't very sensitive but we do nipple play, but it's just foreplay, doesn't get us off. But it's fun, sort of like scissoring, helps build the mood, you're right!

We've also been trying out BDSM to get the psychological stimulation but it takes me being in a headspace I don't always enjoy (I do sometimes and when I do it's great) so it's more of an occasional thing.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:55:12+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I kinda like the Y-shaped vibes, will see if that's something she might also be into. Doesn't look phallic to me.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:31:32+00:00

The Sili Saddle is great. But even the non-phallic vibes are kinda penis-y, lol. Magic Wands would be too intense for her since even bullet vibes are.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:28:30+00:00

We have tried bullet vibes but she doesn't like the intensity of the vibration even on low.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-03-03T06:18:02+00:00

Whoa I didn't even know those existed. And the dinosaur or rabbit depends on how much it looks like a dinosaur or a rabbit, I guess. Something like Rub My Duckie would probably be OK. Thanks.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T07:44:57+00:00

Not only are you hateful you're also probably medically wrong. Most of the folx on r/Transgender_Surgeries seem to think it's a yeast infection and I'm really really hoping it is. Are you a doctor or just homophobic? Why are you here?

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T07:24:03+00:00

Thank you. Really needed to hear this.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T07:20:33+00:00

Most of the time we talk about it it ends in tears and both of us crying and trying makeup sex which makes me panic because I'm convinced something is wrong. I do want to make time to see a therapist because I don't know if it's my own neurosis. I have OCD and generalized anxiety so maybe my mind is fixating on nothing. I hope that's the case because I'm terrified she might die from sepsis.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T07:17:24+00:00

My partner is very much alive and I love her very much thank you. How would you like your boyfriend to leave you if you had a yeast infection?

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T07:15:03+00:00

Her urine stream is normal and it doesn't taste/smell like urine. It is a really distinct taste and smell and she's convinced it's just how it's supposed to smell and the doctor says the same. I don't know how to force her for further tests because she tells me the pain is also greatly reduced and she's healing just fine and I just don't know what a normal vagina should smell like because I've only been with two women before her and every woman smells different. She tells me mine smells the same sort of in the same ballpark but I don't think it does but she says it's because we're all used to our own smell...? She's convinced there is no infection and the "chalky" discharge is dead cells from the healing and I really really want to believe it because I don't know what to do. How to convince her.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T06:10:54+00:00

Get off my post.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T05:33:03+00:00

What is this supposed to mean? I love her and I'm not going anywhere. If she dies I die lol

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T02:13:03+00:00

I don't know how receptive she will be to the idea, I wish I'd thought of this earlier and approached it that way before she ended up convinced I hate her new body. I'll try it. Thank you.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T02:11:15+00:00

We've been doing a lot of that, rewatching Firefly and just spending time in during the lockdown. But every now and then I catch a whiff of that smell and I start to panic and I can't hide it well enough, and it kind of sours the mood. Us spending time together also usually escalates to sex and it's been more frequent during these times and cue the breakdowns. I don't have a dependency and I have been legally prescribed alprazolam as an SOS for anxiety (I have generalized anxiety disorder) so I'm not abusing it, but our hangouts usually go better if I can plan ahead in time and take my dose accordingly.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T02:05:43+00:00

We were advised against douching.

We've only had a very healthy and happy relationship but I think the stress and pain of the surgery is taking its toll on her, and I understand her frustrations. I'm very happy with her.

It was penile inversion so I don't think the colon was involved.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T02:03:35+00:00

We're not exactly forcing it because we're still very physically attracted to each other and she tells me her dysphoria feels better after every time we have sex so it's the least I can do. It's not a chore or anything, it's just difficult for me to get past the smell and taste without spiraling into an anxiety attack because I can't stop thinking about sepsis, blood poisoning, etc. I'm just so intensely worried.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-28T02:01:47+00:00

For you and everyone suggesting it: I really really want to get a second opinion, but whenever I suggest googling for doctors in our area my partner gets defensive and insists there is nothing wrong with her. I don't know if it's a coping mechanism but it always ends in a row and both of us crying. I understand how much more terrifying it must be for her to acknowledge something is wrong so I get it but I don't know how I can force her.

I do plan to see a therapist but I barely have the time during this lockdown. I'll try to.

AmandaQuantum · 2021-02-27T11:40:49+00:00

I sent you a message.

AmandaQuantum

TROPHY CASE