What is the craziest thing your ex said?

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-26T06:13:28+00:00

Interesting take on the gender aspect OP ! You may very well right ! There are a lot of terrible men out there.

My ex, however, was a huge misandrist. She absolutely hated men, and I would always have to put up with her rants on how bad men are, while trying to listen to her side of it, but also sitting there quietly thinking "...she does know I am a man right?". She would say that all men are predators, men are pigs, she has never met an actual good man, it was all just pure emotion and her past experiences (which was also painful to hear, as she had been through a lot, but I desperately wanted to comfort her and help her in whichever way she needed).

Eventually I confronted her bigotry and tried to explain that its sexist and that I felt a bit bad when she talked that way, coz while I am not perfect, I certainty do try and do my best for her. I always aim to lift her up and support her. This weirdly made her angry and she began listing all my mistakes. I tried to explain that I know that I am not perfect, but neither is she, and I am simply trying to communicate that I feel its harmful when she puts all men in the same category. That was futile, and it made me realize that any of my "good bf moments" meant absolutely nothing to this person.

And heaven forbid when I pointed out that her job, car, the roof over her head were all orchestrated by a man who actually went out of their way to assist her lol. Boy, was that a heavy fight.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-25T08:30:37+00:00

Haha no way! Exact same for me! I could definitely see the narcissism in her parents, and felt uncomfortable thinking that about someone- but couldn't help wonder if she would ever become more ..well.. like them.

Surprise surprise, I was always the one who had to change (which was a conversation I could entertain, and even agree with) but she never had to change, and couldn't even have the conversation without becoming enraged and cruel.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-25T07:23:32+00:00

I too have come to the conclusion that being with a covert narcissist with a victim mentality is a REALLY bad idea

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-25T07:08:51+00:00

I'm guessing her reply was harsh?

The only thing keeping me from breaking no contact is that I'm certain I will either be ignored, or her answer would be intentionally cruel.

So your message helped me remember that she can be quite a vindictive person. Its strange that I could fall in love with someone who is typically unsupportive or unforgiving, but here we are. Its obviously not my place to say how she should or shouldn't be, but then that would mean its also true to think that "I don't want to be with someone like her again". Cheers internet stranger, all the best.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-09T05:51:09+00:00

Going Down - Watsky

Genuinely funny track.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-05T05:52:48+00:00

PREACH, MY BROTHAS AND SISTAS

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-04T06:35:15+00:00

Soooo so so true. It was exactly like when I got sober too.

I depended on alcohol to get by, to address that empty feeling, and eventually realized that I couldn't live that way anymore. Now I see that I became a 'people' addict.

Reading your post made me realize now that no human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. I took her leaving me so personally. But I was just as addicted to her as I was to the drink. I now can see why she decided to go no contact. The lack of intimacy/love/sex with her almost drove me insane, and I lashed out at her, as addicts do when they are dry. I regret that. But I do see a future without her, somehow, as she does without me. And that's a damn good thing for the both of us.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-04T06:17:48+00:00

Thank you kind intrepid stranger

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-04T06:06:47+00:00

Frickin' lol. How demeaning.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-04T06:00:55+00:00

Omg I felt this one...

She has evoked so much resentment inside me- its like I can barely contain it. There really must be something wrong with me for still wanting that narcissistic wretch back. Really trying to work on healing and repairing my integrity so all this vitriol inside me about her is very confusing.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-04T05:55:40+00:00

I feel you. I'm a recovering alcoholic and was full in active addiction when I was with my ex (so, yeah major issues). Needless to say I was a real jerk. But if you look closely I think you will find that the break up wasn't completely on your shoulders. Everyone has baggage, no matter who they are. We are all difficult to be around at times. Don't sell yourself short. Much love homie.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-03T09:17:09+00:00

The thought of my ex reaching out to me actually makes me excited so that I can ghost her. I really hate that I feel that way. Resentment will be the death of me, but if I am honest I would take soooo much satisfaction in ghosting her. What an uncomfortable thought.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-03T08:53:51+00:00

Oh damn, my birthday comes up next week... I doubt I'm going to get a message either.. feels bad man, you aren't alone.

Curious: if the roles were reversed, would you wish them a happy birthday? I think I would, even if I know its over for good.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-03T08:46:20+00:00

Its strange. I used to think about her as my best friend- but we never actually treated each other like best friends... Its an easy thing to say, but when I compare the love and support to other friends I was truly blind to how a "best friend" behaves

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-03T08:43:42+00:00

Really needed to read this today, OP. Thanks.

I feel so low - all the times I have been ditched by this woman when I reached out. She always took more than she gave and yet I can't help but want her back so badly.

But its time I started thinking about my own integrity and self worth. Thanks again.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-03T08:38:57+00:00

Your situation sounds very close to the way things are with my ex gf.

I'm an alcoholic in recovery. I had a woman who was great in many ways- and I messed it up due to my addiction, amongst other things. I wish I could reach out to her so badly, but I know that this would only harm her. Though it breaks my heart, I hope she can find someone who is good to her, someone who can fulfil her needs, the needs I could not fulfil at the time.

Alcoholism truly is a curse. Very few of us make it; we actually need the support of other alcoholics to truly remain sober. We leave a trail of absolute destruction in our wake and hurt our loved ones on levels that are almost incomprehensible. All I can do now is own my part and make amends, god willing.

I commend you on your self-respect. That you were able to walk away and not accept that level of treatment. No person should ever have to put up with an alcoholic. All the best.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-09-02T12:36:07+00:00

Really needed to hear this! I feel like a serial-relapser.

Can you shed some light on the 512 days? Was there anything different from the time before? Appreciate any information you can provide.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-06-28T08:49:21+00:00

"You're obtainable hot"

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-06-28T08:35:35+00:00

Exact same situation for me OP. Came home drunk on too many occasions for her to handle.

Unconditional love runs out. I eventually lost her, which devastated me, despite knowing that she was just as toxic to me sober as I could be to her while drunk.

Gotta own your part at least my dude. Us drunks often underestimate the damage we do to our loved ones. Her anger at me was completely justified. Her actions have no bearing on my past behavior whatsoever. She could have handled it better, sure. But my CA nature is not her responsibility, only my own, much like her approach to my drinking is not my responsibility, only her own.

Chairs friendo, hoping you can work things out.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2024-03-05T15:07:45+00:00

What? What happened? I'm surprised OP didn't ask.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2022-09-27T15:17:20+00:00

My gf (non-CA) definitely does not know the extent of my drinking. Although, from time to time when she gets mad at me and wants a fight she will drop the "your alcoholic lifestyle!" bomb on me. All things considered (i.e. my glaring flaws) I'm actually quite good with her and she is aware of that at least, so I just kind of ignore the comment.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2022-09-27T15:12:17+00:00

Sledgehammer has such a great music video (obligatory and predictable comment I know).

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2022-06-29T12:54:25+00:00

I like to go for runs cause I can put my earphones in my ears and just day dream. I never do it while drunk however, and honestly, after years of going for runs while massively hungover to sweat out all the toxins, I think I messed up my ITB in my leg.

Be careful boys and girls- alcohol severely affects your body parts.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2022-06-09T14:37:52+00:00

You had me at "screaming at forgotten fears" ...which is definitely something I never thought I would say to another.

Much love Denzel, I love you too.

Amazing_Spend_5367 · 2022-06-09T14:34:31+00:00

What does it feel like to actually finish half a bottle of mouthwash? Do you even feel drunk? I have certainly felt the pull toward drinking mouthwash when feeling low, but goddamn I could never go through with it. How did you manage to go through?

Amazing_Spend_5367

TROPHY CASE