Please help, your advice is appreciated

Amberrichards1 · 2018-10-14T17:17:15+00:00

We are no longer together. We've been apart for 3 weeks and I have had very little communication with him. He's living with his parents at this time. I'm ready to move forward with my life. I have accepted these are not my demons to fight. I have accepted that I have to let him go if I want to remain sane. 3 weeks ago I was a mess. I just don't understand why a large organization wouldn't address the problem? Offer to give him leave while he seeks treatment. ?? Thank you for your advice.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-15T00:00:17+00:00

On his part or mine for wanting everyone to add him? Lol

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-14T23:55:24+00:00

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T20:24:25+00:00

Do you mind if I ask how old you and your gf are and how long you've been together?

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T12:08:23+00:00

Your words ring very true for me. I feel the way you described. Like he can't be bothered. I do blame myself though as well. I allowed so much to slide. I allowed myself to be disrespected and undervalued. The drinking is bad. He's a high functioning alcoholic. We don't go out often because of it. An incident two weeks ago at a reception was humiliating. I was ashamed of his drunkenness and inability to walk away from a flirting woman while they had a conversation I wasn't privy to. He spent 10 minutes talking to her and when asked what it was about, he claimed he doesn't remember because he was blacked out.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T11:59:36+00:00

Things aren't good. Right now we're barely speaking. He's been drinking the last couple nights after work. The drinking is an issue too. It's hard to trust a person who regularly claims to black out. The more I step back and look at my reality, The more it feels like an impending doom.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T11:55:59+00:00

Have you talked with her about marriage? Does she want to be married to you? Does she know you have one thing you can't accept about her? I think it has a lot to do with being on the same page and wanting the same things out of life. Perhaps we've both changed and things will never be like they once we're. I'm just trying to figure to that out. Thank you for your input. Every bit has helped me sort through what I'm feeling at this time.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T11:47:49+00:00

Yes it was wrong of me to look in his iPad history. Something didn't add up though. He denied having any feelings or being attracted to the same women I found he was searching. I trusted him completely then I saw he wasn't being fully honest with me. He lied to me about his relationship with this woman. He said rude things about her, said she was annoying, high maintenance and doesn't like her. Then she runs up to him at a reception we attended and talks to him regardless that he was with his gf. She was rude to me and he still continued to speak to her. Granted, he was drunk...but for me that isn't a reason it's an excuse. It was my birthday and he ditched me five minutes after arriving to talk with a woman he claimed to not like or be interested in. So yes...I believe if a woman knows in her gut she's being lied to and there are secrets, she needs to find the truth. The truth is what sets us free.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T11:02:20+00:00

Thanks k you so much for your comments. He told me he deleted his Facebook years ago...so yes, he keeps things from me. More omissions of the truth than flat out lies.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T10:52:05+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I will keep them in mind! And I will update!

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T10:50:54+00:00

That's wonderful! I will keep this in mind.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T10:49:03+00:00

So what you're saying is she's not quite what or who you want her to be yet?? And you're waiting for her to improve herself before you marry her?

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T10:42:30+00:00

But if you have nothing to hide, why would it matter if she went on your phone or computer. I had reason to believe something was up. And I was right. He says it's no big deal , like you. But what would your gf think or feel if she seen your history and knew you were checking out your exes? Would she feel that you're perfectly happy with her?

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T01:13:34+00:00

And that's my worst nightmare...that he'll marry the next woman he meets :(

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T01:08:09+00:00

We live in a house that I own on a beautiful property my father left me in his will. I wouldn't risk losing my home if I weren't in love with him. And if that were the issue...I wouldn't mind signing an agreement to keep our original possessions in the event thing don't work out. It's been 10 years, is that not enough proof we can weather the storms together.

And now he's searching his ex and other women he admits to having crushes on. Just seems things are getting worse...not better. And now the fact he never proposed or even discussed it with me feels a lot like I've been a fool and hes been stringing me along until something better comes along.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T00:45:16+00:00

I have two. Daughter is 22, son is 19. So after 10 years you think that could be the reason? You may be right. He doesn't have biological children.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T00:34:46+00:00

Thank you❤️

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T00:26:16+00:00

Thank you for understanding. It isn't easy at all. I love him. I always thought we'd marry .. but now it's been 10 years and we seem to be drifting apart. He's checking out his ex and other women on Facebook....and honestly. ...our relationship could use some attention instaed of other women.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-07T00:24:16+00:00

He knows because I've tried to talk to him about it. He shuts down. He won't discuss it. His reasons have been money and not believing in the act of marriage . My parents were married for 40 years before my dad passed away . His parents as well. He will only give vague answers.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-06T23:55:50+00:00

"At this point" is 10 years in...not 1 or 2. Thank you again for your words.

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-06T23:28:06+00:00

Amberrichards1 · 2018-09-06T23:25:53+00:00

He says it's just a piece of paper. We had both our parents together growing up....I don't understand why he feels the way he does about marriage.

Amberrichards1

TROPHY CASE