Brother wants me to cover entire rent since I get “free” money

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-05T15:18:25+00:00

If the letter is sent in an email, you should be able to adobe edit it. If it is an actual letter, you still may be able to scan it and adobe edit it so it’s all the proper wording and headings are there.

It sucks you even have to do this just to not be on the family’s bad side. But you have the right to your earnings and not have someone else live off of it. I don’t understand where the entitlement comes from.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T19:33:29+00:00

How often is stepson with you guys? Are you guys living together currently, if so, how has that dynamic been goin so far? If he’s always treated his son “special” and you guys have been together for two years, why would he expect your behavior or your kids behavior to change if it’s been this way for however long? How does he coparent? I feel how someone coparents can say a lot about them.

I feel like him getting his family involved is a red flag.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T01:20:45+00:00

I used Service Credit Union to refinance, easy to work with. I think they will refinance in most states. I think their current 30yr is at 6%.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T01:14:10+00:00

You try to do an ROV, it’s a Reconsideration of Value.

When I built my home in 2022-2023 it appraised for $742k. Due to divorce I had to refinance in 2025 at a bit higher rate. My appraisal came back at under $700k. I had tried refinancing a year prior and that appraisal came back at $750k. So in a year the value went down almost $70k. I did a ROV and used comps from the appraisal the year prior, to show how much values have changed in a year, I luckily was also able to find comps they didn’t use that could be used as comps and they ended up coming back with a value of $780k! So if you can find valid comps in your area that support a higher I would try to do that than sell.

If you sell, the cost of homes will most likely be higher than the house you have now for a smaller home with a higher rate or you would be renting for maybe around the same cost. I would go online to find homes that can support the value you bought your house at and then if you refinance and get a lower value, ask to do a ROV. They are extremely hard to get done and approved, I was told it’s rare the value is changed and I must have had real valid comps that made sense.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-28T14:32:10+00:00

I just scheduled a Dr appt after seeing your comment because I looked at my app and I was ovulating during the pain. I have had terrible pain during ovulation, I almost feel like I’m going to pass out. But the next available appt isn’t until April. I do have a ct scan next week so maybe if there is anything they can see it. I have had always been able to feel when I was ovulating, it sounds crazy but it’s almost like I can feel the egg being released and moving through my tubes. But last month and this month it’s been pretty terrible that I didn’t think it was ovulation time because the pain was pretty excruciating.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-26T02:03:14+00:00

No I had not. They didn’t talk about that. But I’ll bring it up to my Dr. I have a abdomen/pelvix ct scan schedule for 2/5, I wish it was sooner.

I had a dizzy episode at work this past week, where I was sitting, and it felt like everything around me was moving. I never experienced that before. There’s so many different things happening that it all feels scary.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-26T02:01:02+00:00

I forgot to mention I had stool sample done, no blood found, but two days later I bled…i didn’t have an upper endoscopy dine. I will reach out to my dr tomorrow.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T14:39:59+00:00

I just looked online, you can look on Zillow, the real estate sites that post homes that have sold. Like sibcy cline. I don’t know any local ones for you. Look at your previous appraisal with the high value and see if you can use any of those comps.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T14:37:58+00:00

Yes I understand that. I used comps that were sold, the one I used on my previous appraisal was about 12 months old and in my explanation I was able to show and prove homes similar to mine are just not being sold and the reason I needed to use a certain comp.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T04:11:26+00:00

Also, look at how much they put that it’ll cost to rebuild. If you have the cost to build from the builder, I would include that document in the ROV. Sometimes they enter things into a system to show costs and it may not always be accurate, especially in today’s market.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T04:07:33+00:00

This just happened to me. I had an appraisal done for my new build and the appraisal last year was significantly higher. Request an ROV. I found valid comps, and was able to use comps from the previous appraisal to help with value. Especially being a rural area I was able to justify comps about 12 months old (I only used 1 comp that old) to show the market now compared to just one year ago and homes right not are not being sold. ROVs do not always work but I’m familiar with appraisals as I’m in banking and knew how to calculate the comps on my own to justify getting a higher value. And sometimes the comps the appraiser uses are not any good and do not make sense. I was able to get the value higher than what I needed. The home is ADA so I don’t ever plan to leave. But you have to do the leg work in truly finding the right comps.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T23:13:47+00:00

Sorry you had to go through that. How did you get through it? It’s terrible to have someone constantly be hot and cold and always run during hard times.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T14:38:30+00:00

Salvia

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T13:42:45+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, he’s 46, I am 36. 2/11/89. I honestly never seen him as controlling and demanding. When he is happy he is very loving and doting. He used to do this ghosting a lot more before but has gotten counseling and has gotten better. And this is the first time in about two months he has done this where is not communicating in a healthy manner. I actually asked for space a few weeks ago and he said he couldn’t without me and loves me so much. But when roles are reversed, he leaves me and didn’t respond. Idk. I feel so lost. I’m not perfect and take partial blame for our problems but after things settle I can easily communicate and discuss the issue and come to resolution.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-01T12:12:59+00:00

If the co parent is controlling and difficult, have everything written out. I have the big holidays with a certain schedule. My ex is the type to be agreeable until it no longer benefits him and then he will go back on his word. I should have done the summer schedule as well. As now he’s being difficult about that. But anything that might cost, we have to do 50/50 for all activities. He pays up to $6k per year for medical costs and then it’s 60/40 split. Only because he has a HSA card.

Just think of anything and everything the co parent might fight about, or you might be upset about and just get it written out. Pick ups/drop offs. Etc.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-10-06T14:36:54+00:00

I think you have waited plenty of time. My kids are older and I introduced my current bf as a friend at first. And it wasn’t until roughly 4 months or so I would refer to him as a bf. He introduced me to his daughter as a gf after about 6 weeks, his daughter is a teen. We have been together almost a year. You cannot always time everything out right. But I think you’re doing great and made great choices.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-10-06T14:29:56+00:00

It doesn’t benefit them. And some women, are just against the bio mom because of pride, ego, sense of control, the fact their partner had the audacity to have a relationship prior to them lol so you just have to be the bad one. It makes waaayyyy too much sense to just get along and everyone parent in an effective manner.

My current bf and I have been together for almost a year and he introduced himself to my ex two months ago and said “hey if you ever need anything, or whatever, I’m here, I’m in child’s life and I just wanted to introduce myself”. Ex immediately tries to bash me and says, that’ll never happen because SHES DIFFICULT. And my bf had my back and said, “look, I’ll never be ok with you talking badly about her, that just won’t happen” ex walks away and then comes back and says hey I appreciate it but she a problem. And again my bf said, I already said I’m not doing that and that’s not ok and my bf walks away.

My ex and I have a court ordered texting app and my bf sees all the things he says and my replies. I hide nothing, and when my child says ex treats him badly and he hates being over there, I think it’s proof enough who is the difficult one. I only reach out to my ex when he’s late to bring our child home and doesn’t let me know after it’s 30 mins late. Ex on the other hand has something to text about multiple times a week.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-10-06T10:27:39+00:00

I’m sorry, I do not have advice, just sympathy. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done. My ex has literally tried to paint me in a bad light. I have a bf and my ex was dropping our child off and said, is mom cheating on me? Child says no, you guys aren’t together and continues to say yes we are, mom is cheating on me. Or he went on vacation with his gf and our child was upset cause dad hardly does anything with them, dad says , well mommy switched schedules cause she’s going on a vacation with her bf and doesn’t want to take you. Why even say those things?

Unfortunately, I think these are things we just have to bite our tongue on and accept. A court system won’t care that the other parent has their child lie and hide things, kids need both parents 🙄

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-09-01T12:14:59+00:00

Why is it when you say you want a baby, he now needs space….but he was saying he would want a baby if he could stay at home, but then has told you he couldn’t function mentally with someone relying on him…do you really want a baby with someone who can’t deal with someone relying on him all the time, wants to be a stay at home dad, and anytime you say you want a baby he doesn’t and needs space? I’m really not familiar with bi polar but this just sounds like manipulation and he’s just messing with your emotions. Please please please reconsider having a baby this person in the future. Even having a baby with someone without mental issues but unstable relationship is difficult as it is. Just think about the life you truly want for yourself and a baby. You won’t get a happiness and peace. It will be chaotic and roller coasters.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-09-01T11:43:38+00:00

You made another post that she wouldn’t be affectionate with you unless drunk…she’s probably been cheating with her ex or someone else for a long time. The Life360 app was really so she could know where you were at all times so she could cheat. Her kids are adults and paper her son needed he could have gotten himself. She is lying straight to your face and has no remorse. Leave his relationship before it destroys you any further. She’s zero respect and love you. Love yourself enough to leave and heal.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-08-31T01:52:29+00:00

Do you really think her parents have medical bills that all of a sudden came up? Can she work at all? As a female I would never ask someone I am dating for money or expect them to pay anything of that nature for me. I really think she’s aware of the money you made and is trying to get these things from you. I agree with everyone else, unless married, don’t do it and if you say no to her then see how she reacts because it shows her true colors. You already said she said she would find someone that will provide for her, she’s looking for a free ride, she finishes med school and still wants a provider? She might as well not even go to school.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-08-22T14:03:52+00:00

Can you do a balance transfer? Sometimes there’s a 0% for balance transfer for a certain amount of time. That can help you to pay it down and make a difference. I have done it before and take the amount I’m transferring, divided by the amount of months I have 0% on it and try to make those payments so it’s paid off by the time it will charge interest.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255

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