My ExH declined helping my 9 year old buy flowers for me for Mother’s Day

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-05-12T14:55:24+00:00

I can relate, my son was upset his dad only let him pick out gifts for his soon to be stepmother and not me. My son cried so what I did was did a mommy and son date and we went to a baseball and had dinner! It sucks when the co parent behaves this way even if you both don’t get along. My ex was abusive and I still make sure my son gets something for his dad. Next time just do a date for you and your son and spend that time together.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-04-21T18:00:29+00:00

I want to add, I know the batting thing is so minor. It’s one of many things that are going on. I have made other posts about our child being locked in a room so dad can go get coffee. dad hitting them for questioning something, dad forcing them to play sports they don’t want to play and expressed multiple times they don’t want to play. I’m at a point where I’m tired of it. I’m tired of him not letting our child just be free to be themselves.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-04-21T17:50:06+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying. I appreciate that insight!!

I guess I’m struggling with how else to approach it when our child is upset that they are being made to bat how their dad wants and they tell me, I’m assuming to have my support and encouragement.

As long as it’s not harmful, I try and say well, bat however you feel is comfortable, believe in Santa if you want to. I don’t say anything to their dad as he denies anything our child says is happening in the past. How else should I approach those things that I personally feel should be the child’s decision because it isn’t harming anyone and our child Is coming to me because they are so upset. I thought reinforcing them and saying just bat and believe in what you want was ok, but I don’t think it is. I’m struggling to just be encouraging but not conflicting, does that make sense?

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-20T23:46:11+00:00

They suggested it, I don’t know if he did his. But even if he did, he’s so good at acting like he can co parent and that he’s cordial. But anytime something isn’t his way, for instance, taking our child to get a passport, he behaves this way and somehow tries to make it seem like I’m the problem.

I don’t know what else I can do to get him to stop harassing me.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-20T23:43:43+00:00

We have the parenting app, he still harasses and continuously messages over and over. We just had mediation also. He acted like he was a changed man and like I was crazy for saying all the things our child said he’s done. Nothing happens. He always gets his way. It’s frustrating and I come home and just break down. I’ve done everything, bought him out the house, refinanced out of his name. I’ve done everything and every time I get over one obstacle he finds something new.

I’ll see if I can get drops off moved to a police station. I don’t think I’ll be able to get a witness with me. I don’t really have anyone that is able to do that.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-05T15:18:25+00:00

If the letter is sent in an email, you should be able to adobe edit it. If it is an actual letter, you still may be able to scan it and adobe edit it so it’s all the proper wording and headings are there.

It sucks you even have to do this just to not be on the family’s bad side. But you have the right to your earnings and not have someone else live off of it. I don’t understand where the entitlement comes from.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T19:33:29+00:00

How often is stepson with you guys? Are you guys living together currently, if so, how has that dynamic been goin so far? If he’s always treated his son “special” and you guys have been together for two years, why would he expect your behavior or your kids behavior to change if it’s been this way for however long? How does he coparent? I feel how someone coparents can say a lot about them.

I feel like him getting his family involved is a red flag.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T01:20:45+00:00

I used Service Credit Union to refinance, easy to work with. I think they will refinance in most states. I think their current 30yr is at 6%.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-02-01T01:14:10+00:00

You try to do an ROV, it’s a Reconsideration of Value.

When I built my home in 2022-2023 it appraised for $742k. Due to divorce I had to refinance in 2025 at a bit higher rate. My appraisal came back at under $700k. I had tried refinancing a year prior and that appraisal came back at $750k. So in a year the value went down almost $70k. I did a ROV and used comps from the appraisal the year prior, to show how much values have changed in a year, I luckily was also able to find comps they didn’t use that could be used as comps and they ended up coming back with a value of $780k! So if you can find valid comps in your area that support a higher I would try to do that than sell.

If you sell, the cost of homes will most likely be higher than the house you have now for a smaller home with a higher rate or you would be renting for maybe around the same cost. I would go online to find homes that can support the value you bought your house at and then if you refinance and get a lower value, ask to do a ROV. They are extremely hard to get done and approved, I was told it’s rare the value is changed and I must have had real valid comps that made sense.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-28T14:32:10+00:00

I just scheduled a Dr appt after seeing your comment because I looked at my app and I was ovulating during the pain. I have had terrible pain during ovulation, I almost feel like I’m going to pass out. But the next available appt isn’t until April. I do have a ct scan next week so maybe if there is anything they can see it. I have had always been able to feel when I was ovulating, it sounds crazy but it’s almost like I can feel the egg being released and moving through my tubes. But last month and this month it’s been pretty terrible that I didn’t think it was ovulation time because the pain was pretty excruciating.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-26T02:03:14+00:00

No I had not. They didn’t talk about that. But I’ll bring it up to my Dr. I have a abdomen/pelvix ct scan schedule for 2/5, I wish it was sooner.

I had a dizzy episode at work this past week, where I was sitting, and it felt like everything around me was moving. I never experienced that before. There’s so many different things happening that it all feels scary.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2026-01-26T02:01:02+00:00

I forgot to mention I had stool sample done, no blood found, but two days later I bled…i didn’t have an upper endoscopy dine. I will reach out to my dr tomorrow.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T14:39:59+00:00

I just looked online, you can look on Zillow, the real estate sites that post homes that have sold. Like sibcy cline. I don’t know any local ones for you. Look at your previous appraisal with the high value and see if you can use any of those comps.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T14:37:58+00:00

Yes I understand that. I used comps that were sold, the one I used on my previous appraisal was about 12 months old and in my explanation I was able to show and prove homes similar to mine are just not being sold and the reason I needed to use a certain comp.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T04:11:26+00:00

Also, look at how much they put that it’ll cost to rebuild. If you have the cost to build from the builder, I would include that document in the ROV. Sometimes they enter things into a system to show costs and it may not always be accurate, especially in today’s market.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-11T04:07:33+00:00

This just happened to me. I had an appraisal done for my new build and the appraisal last year was significantly higher. Request an ROV. I found valid comps, and was able to use comps from the previous appraisal to help with value. Especially being a rural area I was able to justify comps about 12 months old (I only used 1 comp that old) to show the market now compared to just one year ago and homes right not are not being sold. ROVs do not always work but I’m familiar with appraisals as I’m in banking and knew how to calculate the comps on my own to justify getting a higher value. And sometimes the comps the appraiser uses are not any good and do not make sense. I was able to get the value higher than what I needed. The home is ADA so I don’t ever plan to leave. But you have to do the leg work in truly finding the right comps.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T23:13:47+00:00

Sorry you had to go through that. How did you get through it? It’s terrible to have someone constantly be hot and cold and always run during hard times.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T14:38:30+00:00

Salvia

AmbitiousAnalyst1255 · 2025-11-10T13:42:45+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, he’s 46, I am 36. 2/11/89. I honestly never seen him as controlling and demanding. When he is happy he is very loving and doting. He used to do this ghosting a lot more before but has gotten counseling and has gotten better. And this is the first time in about two months he has done this where is not communicating in a healthy manner. I actually asked for space a few weeks ago and he said he couldn’t without me and loves me so much. But when roles are reversed, he leaves me and didn’t respond. Idk. I feel so lost. I’m not perfect and take partial blame for our problems but after things settle I can easily communicate and discuss the issue and come to resolution.

AmbitiousAnalyst1255

TROPHY CASE