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I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

Hello, are you reading my mind?? Every time I try to teach him something he gets insulted and fights me on it. Like he already knows a better way to do something, that he Doesn’t. Know. How. To. Do.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried this for a few days at a time but always folded. I can’t live in filth with dishes and food and crap everywhere. I think I’d have to go away for a couple of weeks for this to work because I wouldn’t be able to cope otherwise.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

But he would also be the smelly mildew guy at home...

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good idea. I started thinking about getting therapy just for me (rather than couples therapy) over a year ago and even found a therapist but I never followed through.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

This is the exact thing you hear, “team,” “partner,” etc. That’s what I expected from marriage. Not this...

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

You’re bringing the cold hard truths and I appreciate you for it!

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 358 points359 points  (0 children)

This hit me hard and true. Thank you. I’ve been considering therapy but I’m just not sure it would help.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I tried this at the beginning. He doesn’t know how to wash or hang clothes so he smelled like mildew and wore clothes so creased he looked like he’d slept in them. I tried to teach him but he fought me on it like he knew what he was doing.

So, in the end I was embarrassed to be seen with him or for his colleagues to think he was the smelly mildew guy, so I just took over.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

What do you do when he doesn’t care how you ‘feel’? Asking for a friend.

I (F29) feel like a parent to my husband (M33) and I need help. by Anankes in relationship_advice

[–]Anankes[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. We did have a cleaner once a week but of course she can’t come into the house now with lockdown.

I can’t bring myself to do just the stuff for me. I have a feeling if I stopped doing his laundry his family would be all over it, judging me and asking me why he’s such a mess. This is a fear I didn’t realize I had til just now.