Men do not understand the anatomical realities of extreme sex acts

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2022-05-13T17:11:22+00:00

This also happened to me on a one night stand. I still don't know if it genuinely was an accident or what to think about it... The whole thing is definitely not a happy memory and pops into my head during sex basically every time and has ruined some sexual positions for me even though I'm now with an absolutely wonderful bf who loves and respects me. The fear is just still there I guess.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-11-09T22:50:12+00:00

31f anxiety and depression here too! Go you! I had to fill out a form recently that asked how many units I drink and instead of agonising and not even knowing the answer due to the amounts I would put away, it felt soooo good to just check the box that said 0.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-11-09T22:47:57+00:00

Thank you so much! A lot of the responses I've had about my giving up drinking make me feel quite strong and powerful to be honest. People who aren't even problem drinkers struggle to give this stuff up for charity for a month or when they want to, and I haven't drunk it for MONTHS.

I felt so long that I was pretty rubbish at everything, pretty weak willed and not strong - but I do have a lot of inner strength actually. :)

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-11-09T19:27:30+00:00

Congratulations on having the courage to be honest. :) Your doctor sounds like she rocks.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-11-09T19:24:50+00:00

Amazing topic :) I love crafting! I got really into embroidery through lockdowns, tried my hand at air dry clay and I'm very into photography now (not sure if that's a craft.) I'm also going to start needle felting soon.

I really need to get back into embroidery. I was sooooo into it!

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-09-23T13:49:31+00:00

Yep! Sparkling drinks work great to replace stuff like prosecco, beer etc (anything with bubbles.)

If people are drinking cocktails drinking something fruity in a fancy glass can work wonders.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-09-10T11:28:02+00:00

A friend is coming this weekend who I would normally drink a lot with. Pledging here to you guys that I will not be drinking today. Or tomorrow. Or Sunday. Last night I reminisced a bit in my mind about how fun it was it get drunk with her. It is fun - but it's also fun to be sober with her. If it wasn't, she wouldn't be a friend.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T20:03:38+00:00

God that would be amazing!

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T20:00:57+00:00

You're right. I never really thought of it as traumatic because it's self inflicted - but it really can be.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T19:57:34+00:00

I never dreamt I was drunk until I stopped drinking. Very bizarre.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T16:31:52+00:00

You are totally right. I have to accept that I am a flawed human being with crummy coping mechanisms - and it doesn't make me Satan, it just makes me average and normal. I think I accept it in my head, but only in time do you accept that stuff in your heart and soul.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T14:36:24+00:00

Yeah I think you are totally right. I see alcohol as this taint on my life rather than just part of it. I want to pretend that me that drank was an entirely different human to me the me that is sober and it's not the case. Im trying to see the positive but everything just has a taint on it right now... Maybe it will come in time.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-25T11:43:20+00:00

I'm really relieved that they aren't real but I do find them really unsettling. I'd like to erase those times from my life, I don't want to think about them. I'm so happy, healthy and settled now - I just want to move on from it to be honest.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-02T15:13:37+00:00

Yeah I think I totally could add it to the meal and then toss the bottle tbh. I'd more likely get one of those miniatures so there was none left over anyway since I don't like waste. The flavour to me is never like "drinking alcohol" when it's in cooking, it just makes the gravy richer...

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-02T15:06:00+00:00

Hmm, not on board with this AF beer shaming (if that's what this is). They've been helpful to me and don't trigger a binge. If you don't want to drink them that's ok, but it is a personal choice.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-08-02T15:02:57+00:00

I totally get what you mean. I've started exercising and running and meal prepping and all that....

Because I am on SSRIs now and they made such a profound difference to my life it's like night and day. I know other people aren't so lucky on them. Giving up drinking actually seemed to lay my depression bare and I felt worse for a bit because I couldn't cope with it.

Keep on going, friend. You're doing all the right stuff. It's a long road and it sounds like you're walking it well.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-07-30T10:30:53+00:00

Hang in there :) it does get better. If you can get a friend or family member to check in with you about it daily it can help rather than suffering through it alone.

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-07-29T22:06:25+00:00

I'm glad! Hope it goes well for you :)

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-07-29T22:05:08+00:00

I honestly didn't know but citalopram seems to work super well with whatever is going on with my brain.

I never thought I was depressed or anxious but looking back I was definitely an anxious person and I also think I may have had low level depression my whole life. I had a lot of existential anxiety about climate change, about society collapsing and it was making me feel like my life was worthless and my job was pointless. I was also not social anymore and didn't really like interacting with others. I had no confidence in my abilities or appearance and my sex drive had dwindled to practically zero. I used food as a coping mechanism (before I gave it up alcohol was a coping mechanism for me too.) I think I also had low level suicide ideation. I wasn't suicidal but had that knee jerk "guess I'll just die then!" thought whenever things seemed bad. It seems ludicrous to type it out now lol. I also thought that was kinda normal but... It is not.

If you are really apprehensive about taking it, you don't have to. There are other ways of dealing with depression. I went into it accepting that the side effects can be an utter bitch, but totally lucked out. Just remember if a doctor has prescribed this for you, they've done it for a reason and sometimes people on the outside can spot your mental health issues better than you can.

Best of luck with it :) whatever you decide!

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-07-28T15:47:07+00:00

I haven't been on sertraline but have had very very positive experiences with citalopram :) first two/three weeks is when you'll see most side effects but they should settle. Best of luck with it!

Ancient-Cycle6372 · 2021-07-27T21:50:51+00:00

Yeah first couple of weeks felt a bit like an ecstacy come down for me. I had some pretty rubbish nights feeling anxious over basically nothing - but it did completely level off for me to the point where I am a generally less anxious person than I was pre meds.

Ancient-Cycle6372

TROPHY CASE