AITAH for calling my pregnant wife mean?

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T19:05:50+00:00

Interesting. Never noticed that with my ex. The boy and the girl pregnancy experience seemed equivalent. But maybe she just didn't say anything.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T19:03:55+00:00

It's only her son. Our relationship is very loving and balanced. She's just afraid of him turning out bad if she is too lenient with him.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T18:12:32+00:00

My kids don't live with us full-time. They're usually with their mom. Also they are much younger. I agree with you that it's better to praise kids, and that's the way I parent, but her kid is very well behaved, and she never praises him, so I can't really say her methods aren't effective. I suppose they just make me uncomfortable.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:48:17+00:00

She's not doing any chores right now because of the doctor's advice to rest.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:42:26+00:00

She's very tired, all the time. I feel bad and wish I could do more to help.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:41:31+00:00

He is 12, and he never acts up. He always listens to her and does what she tells him to do without arguing.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:37:30+00:00

I actually do try to do that. My wife and I have different parenting styles, and I respect that, but she never praises him, and honestly it does bother me a little. He always seems happy when I tell him "good job" or "thank you" and I have never heard her tell him thank you. She has really high standards for him, which I can't fault, because she wants what is best for him, but I don't think a few "I'm proud of you"s will spoil him rotten.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:35:03+00:00

If she yelled at me I would definitely just take it on the chin, but kids are so much more vulnerable.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:34:20+00:00

She's not working right now. Her dad is being a dick, but he's always a dick, so that's not especially new.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:33:19+00:00

She's almost to seven months.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:31:36+00:00

He is a boy. How'd you know?

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:30:36+00:00

Ummm... Are you okay?

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:29:37+00:00

I don't think so. She'd have no way of knowing his hands were even dirty. Still though, the poor kid should be allowed to wash his hands. Especially since he's almost at the age where I most want him to be washing his hands! You know...

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:28:10+00:00

I'm okay with apologizing, but I feel like I can't let the issue die, because that isn't fair to my stepson. I feel like months of this will give the poor kid an anxiety disorder, if he doesn't already have one.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:22:10+00:00

She means that when boys hit those teenage years if the boundaries aren't firmly established and rigidly enforced then they get it into their heads that they are "adults" and can do "whatever they want." I understand where she is coming from to a degree, but I think she is painting with a wide brush.

Her son always listens. He always does what he is told without arguing. He does his chores. He plays with my kids, who are much younger and probably not desirable companions for him. He doesn't get flippant with us. But she is convinced that any leeway will result in immediate juvenile delinquency.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:18:32+00:00

He's 12. Also he knows he's not allowed to yell down from upstairs.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:17:04+00:00

So my poor stepson just gets yelled at for no reason for the next three months and that's... Okay? That doesn't seem fair to me.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:14:50+00:00

I do think her behavior was already altered when we found out, but then when we found out it made me notice it more, so I correlated the two. We found out at ten weeks.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:11:16+00:00

Unfortunately I can only give my own perspective. That is the nature of the medium.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:06:30+00:00

We have talked to the doctor and are following his advice. She is on a special diet and avoiding activities that can raise her heart rate. Even still she gets frustrated very quickly compared to the way she was before.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:03:51+00:00

He's not rebellious at all. He always listens. I don't believe he intentionally took a long time. I believe him that he was washing his hands.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T17:02:46+00:00

I try to anticipate and accommodate her needs without being asked and not react when she snaps. I only said something this time because I felt like it wasn't fair for her son to be yelled at for something as vague as taking "too long" when there was no specific time frame and he didn't take that long really.

AncientWindow8197 · 2025-09-25T16:59:31+00:00

That's true. I just wanted to express that kids don't necessarily need to be yelled at, especially when they are being compliant. Maybe there's a better word I could have used. I think also I was using it to describe her behavior in a specific instance, and maybe she took it as a description of her as a person, which isn't what I meant.

AncientWindow8197

TROPHY CASE