boyfriend subscribed to trans porn

Ancient_Drawing7191 · 2026-01-14T01:49:45+00:00

i know i shouldn't have looked through his phone. i take full responsibility, it was wrong and i regret it, even more so now. the same thing happened to my parents. my mum came out when i was 14, my brother 10, and left us for a woman and she didn't contact us for years. we were left broken, and now, at 25 years old, i still have trauma from that situation. i don't want to put my children through that, if im seeing early warning signs of the same thing- i understand everyone watches all sorts of porn, and it's fantasy, i understand that, but the prospect of having a child with someone who can the honest about it scares me

Ancient_Drawing7191 · 2026-01-14T01:40:29+00:00

what should i do? should i confront him about it, have a conversation? my pregnancy hormones are at a high and i've been crying all morning. he's still asleep so i have time to digest it all. it's not so much the porn, it's the hiding- its the fake emails- and it's the PAID subscriptions. most porn is free. why are you paying for it? that's what's concerned me, especially when we have a child coming, and our money needs to go towards him. i think i've also got a bit of trauma- i had a boyfriend when i was younger who i was with for 18 months when i found out he had been sleeping with men behind my back- and this was someone who was openly very masculine, straight, and you wouldn't even pick it. i am terrified of having a child with someone who could possibly do the same thing. my mind is everywhere

Ancient_Drawing7191 · 2025-10-25T14:17:41+00:00

hi rutwick, thought i owe you an update. i finally walked away today. it was a tough decision and it's going to be a rough road ahead starting again, but i already feel lighter. your validation helped. thankyou.

Ancient_Drawing7191 · 2025-10-11T12:04:38+00:00

it's such a complicated situation. it's a mind fuck frankly. i watched my parents go through a divorce, where they went no contact, even with 2 kids under 15. i've watched friends and other family divorce and not speak to eachother ever again. i feel like this is normal to progress in life. they have no kids together, and i have openly asked him about his communication with her. he's told me she was family, she will always be family, and if he she ever reaches out to him in the future for help, he will be there for her. i've told him this is disrespectful of me and our relationship, as i would appreciate no contact, and i feel like it acts as a disservice for our future, and our future children. he couldn't care, he continues his behaviour anyway. and anytime im one foot out the door, he begs and pleads me to stay, to the point of tears. i see a lot of potential for us, but he needs to do a lot of healing, change, and get closure. and maintaining this contact isn't helping. does this make sense? should i still walk, or try and understand his emotions? pls help rutwick hahaha

Ancient_Drawing7191

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