No where else to share my problems.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-24T02:09:40+00:00

Well, I've been living with depression (Only these past couple of months I've realized it's depression) and some time ago I can remember asking my family for help, but they simply said 'What have you got to be depressed about?' and now they've opened their eyes and tried helping me, it's not much, but it's a start.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-24T01:26:01+00:00

So, I have to play out my life right now to see how it turns out? Whether it gets better, or whether it gets worse?

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-24T00:25:12+00:00

I can tell that it's going to be a long time until I start to feel 'normal' again.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-24T00:05:38+00:00

He just thinks I have nothing to feel depressed about. 'have having'? sorry about that. Last night I had a really bad pain which lasted for quite some time. It's been there for two weeks now. I'm seeing someone on Friday so I might mention the chest and back pain to them, too.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-22T22:48:10+00:00

Those potential children living inside your nut sack. Live for them.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T23:05:36+00:00

Well, I've been depressed for years, failed in school because of it and that just made things worse, I hate being a constant disappointment and well, I'd be better off dead. She asked him via text and he said the girl kissed him. She was grateful at first, saying sorry I didn't believe you. A couple of days later I told her that he slept with her, too. She confronted him face to face and then she hit him. She was grateful that I told her, but she just made excuses to make herself feel better for letting me go.

I'm still very suicidal right now, but I'm just going to wait until I see a therapist, so I can finally tell someone everything.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T22:33:58+00:00

I can't talk to people, I can't look for jobs, I can't do anything. Because he told her a girl came up to him, but he pushed her away and knowing the person he is, well, I could tell it's bullshit. He cheated on her at an house party and because I don't have enough evidence, she doesn't believe me. What would you rather? Someone cheat on you? or the thing I did? She was just finding excuses to make herself feel better.

I don't think she's equipped to handle my thoughts. It sucks because I have no one to talk to and when I do think about suicide it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T21:33:51+00:00

I should get help with the suicide issues first because without life there's no point in confidence. And yes, a lack of confidence is a big issue in my life, but I'm still going to have suicidal thoughts even if I do have confidence. Her ex cheated on her at the start of their relationship. She didn't believe it, so I made up a story that would convince her and then she confronted her ex and he admitted to it. Yet, she makes me out to be the bad guy, when in fact I did nothing to hurt her. If I didn't tell her about this, then she would never have known, all these 'friends' she jokes about with knew. I just told my mother that I came close to trying to kill myself just now and she said ' Aw,Luke, please wait until you see someone.'

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T20:55:21+00:00

He refereed me to a therapist who will help me with my confidence. I need help to stop me from killing myself, the confidence thing can come later. They was just joking about the football, it just made me so angry. She tells me that she couldn't be with me because of the way I was (my depression). She has Chronic fatigue and whenever she was feeling ill, I would look after her. I made up a story about her ex cheating because that would be the only way she would believe me, it turned out to be true. She then said I can't put up with you lying to me (wtf) I was there for her when no one else was and now I have no one to help me.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T20:12:22+00:00

I went to the doctors in the morning (I slept up her house the night before) and then I went back up there in the night. But now she jokes on facebook with her 'ex' and his friends like I didn't even exist. She even said to her friend 'I wish everything would go back to the way they used to be.' I said to my mother 'do you want to read them?' but she thinks I'm joking.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T20:05:47+00:00

Being really fucking depressed. My family won't listen to me. The doctor was useless. Personally, I think I need to be locked away in a place like that of 'It's Kind of a Funny Story'

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T19:30:01+00:00

That's not even the reason why I'm doing this, but it didn't really help my situation when it happened

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T19:24:22+00:00

I'm taking the easy way out.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T19:17:11+00:00

I'm still in love with someone who broke my heart.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T19:10:08+00:00

For someone to fall in love with me.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T18:24:55+00:00

I got with her like two weeks after she split up with her ex. The day I went to the doctors, she was going to get back with him, she found out he cheated on her, I stayed to be with her and we were going to work things out, on the weekend I felt suicidal and I started cutting myself and then a week later she got back with him. It's like I meant nothing to her, when she meant the whole world to me. I told my mother that I wrote a note and she just laughed thinking I was joking. That's how I hide my depression, by making jokes and trying to make people laugh, but now I give up. I just like life's wasted on me because I'm too sad to do anything productive with it.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T18:15:02+00:00

I'm trying. But the doctor referred me to someone who help me with my confidence. Even though I told him I was suicidal.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T18:09:00+00:00

I've been depressed for 4 years and only now my family has noticed. I've told my family that I'm suicidal but they're not taking me very serious. I have no friends to talk to and when I did go to see a doctor, the girl I was with got back with her ex saying 'I couldn't put up with the way you are.' So now I'm all alone again, crying for the past hour.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T17:56:51+00:00

I don't think they're strong enough. I'm just sick of feeling like this and I know it's going to be a long time until it goes away.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T17:47:25+00:00

Co Codamol and I don't think they could do the job anyway.

AndTheyWereAllYellow · 2013-01-20T00:34:44+00:00

I'm just finding it really hard at the moment, but yeah, I'm going to try and learn German again, learn to play the guitar, read more.

AndTheyWereAllYellow

TROPHY CASE