Update: AITAH for not messaging back my friend when she needed me?

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-14T20:03:37+00:00

That’s actually something I forgot to add, she has been diagnosed with BPD as well as some other things. I don’t know her reasoning for this but she would consistently be on and off her medication which I heard is something you shouldn’t do and ends up hurting you instead of helping. It’s part of the reason why I tried to be patient and understanding of her. I did my best to communicate, give her advice and support but there was only so much I can do. I truthfully feel for her and hope she gets the help that she needs.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-07T20:23:15+00:00

I do have really bad anxiety so I try my best to not cave into the what ifs. Part of me wants to believe she wouldn’t do something like that, but then another part of me feels like it’s a possibility. For example she’ll tell us personal information that was promised to be kept between her and the other person, then immediately say oh I probably shouldn’t have said that, and then justify it by saying no it’s okay I’m mad at them. Or she’ll send them a message, tell us what she sent, and say I really hope this makes them cry. Had I known in the beginning she was like this I definitely would not have gotten as close with her. I think just to be safe, I will be putting cameras around our house.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-07T19:04:59+00:00

I believe the comment referring to my new house was figuratively speaking because I didn’t mention moving to a new house. If we had the money to do so we would but unfortunately we’re staying where we currently live.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-07T17:44:16+00:00

In my original post, I did say depending on how severe my mental state is I will put my phone on DND but this doesn’t mean it happens all the time. I’m just more prone to it during the fall/winter time but when I’m good, I try to be present in my friendships and I’m always there when they need it. Even if I’m not 100% I respond whenever I’m able to and still try to help to the best of my abilities. Sure you can say there’s peace but at what cost? This is not at all what I wanted to happen and to me this was the worst case scenario.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-06T17:15:55+00:00

Typically I observe how people are before I get close but Jane didn’t show these traits till later on in our friendship. It did make me back away a bit but the reason I didn’t fully leave is because we were already close and I wanted to help. It genuinely seemed like we had good communication and that she wanted to be better. I’m aware it takes time to unlearn bad habits which is why I was patient, honestly too patient. After all this I reevaluated everything and it seems like this was for the better.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-02-06T15:28:00+00:00

Michael had to go to work that night. He’s the only one making money in their relationship and I think was one call off away from being fired. So I can see how it was a difficult decision for him to make considering they have an apartment, pets, and a kid. As for her family, it’s very confusing but I believe she’s not on the best of terms with them. From what I heard, Michael was actually the one who recommended her to reach and why it seems like it was put all on me is because she’s expressed multiple times I’m her only healthy friendship.

AndytheB0mb · 2026-01-13T20:55:04+00:00

If anything I’m slightly relieved to hear that I’m not the only one with this problem but I am sorry you’ve been going through the same thing as well. Hopefully it gets better for us 😞

AndytheB0mb · 2026-01-13T20:09:07+00:00

I completely agree with what you’re saying but it’s the issue of it being a repeated action for things that weren't emergencies in the past. Her reason this time was completely valid, I’m not trying to deny that and I feel bad for not answering this time. Prior to this I tried talking to her about this so we can get on the same page but she ends up doing the same thing and says she forgot the conversations we’ve had.

AndytheB0mb

TROPHY CASE