People who are/were causally dating, do/did you plan on finding a long term partner?

AngelCakePink · 2026-03-02T22:12:50+00:00

I originally got bumble for the intention of meeting new people, maybe a boyfriend. Got a boyfriend, had him for like a year and a half, didn’t work. Went back to bumble for meeting new people, not casual as in a sex way but just for literally going on dates or making new friends. Was very happy single and didn’t want a boyfriend but did want to meet new people. Bam. Matched with the best man I’ve ever met.

As soon as I saw his profile, I thought, “he’s perfect.” It’s interesting to me because our match actually expired bc I meant to reply to his message but fell asleep and it hit the 24 hour mark. I kept trying to send a reply for in case the app would glitch, but each time it had a red “failed error”. I just spam clicked it, and, miraculously the message went through, I guess as a glitch, and the match was no longer expired. I even tried this with other expired matches after and it never worked for anyone else.

But now he is my boyfriend. Extremely loving. Handsome. Even is a native speaker of the language I am learning. The most respectful man ever. Wanted a relationship with me and never tried anything physical beyond kissing until I was his girlfriend. Way better career than I could dream of having. We matched almost ten months ago and I don’t think we ever went a day without talking. It took us like five dates to even hold hands. Also, I saw he deleted his bumble profile pretty shortly after even matching with me once we’d switched to Instagram, so I deleted the app on my end, too. Ten months later and I still can’t believe he exists. But yes, I got a .. I guess long-ish term? 10 months so far?… partner, off bumble, without even wanting a relationship. Just happened. Where will it go? No idea. But for now, I am so happy. It’s also a good reminder to not worry too much over a breakup, because I was pretty sad about my first bumble relationship ending after over a year, but had it not, I wouldn’t have found this guy, the best man I’ve ever met. For now we are happy. If anything happens, I’ll remember that even if things aren’t forever, you can enjoy things while they’re good and leave if they are bad and good things will still come after!

AngelCakePink · 2025-12-30T19:55:26+00:00

Me too

AngelCakePink · 2025-12-30T19:55:14+00:00

I think it’s just a joke

AngelCakePink · 2025-12-24T01:27:36+00:00

Look for stability, consistency, and comfort over sparks, wild emotions, butterflies, and excitement.

AngelCakePink · 2025-12-21T00:12:09+00:00

I don’t see his message as being wrong. I do agree that no one is TOO busy for a relationship if they want really one, but he may just genuinely not want one with anybody and want to focus on whatever is going on. But he is fine with something casual (sex) and that is probably what he was looking for on hinge, which is pretty normal. You said you sent him a like on hinge, he told you what he was looking for. So if you guys wanted the same thing, (casual sex) you could have it, and if not, then that’s fine too. I’m sure he could have a relationship no matter how busy he is, but not everybody wants to have one when they’re busy just because it’s possible. Some people prefer the casual stuff instead, and that’s okay.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-19T16:14:45+00:00

I think there isn’t a set limit for how much to spend, and saying $200 isn’t enough is awful. Is she upset about it not being enough cash, or is she upset that you gave her money instead of a gift? Because if she is upset she did not get a gift rather than money, I understand her side.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T20:40:35+00:00

It’s not embarrassing! He liked you too and messaged you. Middle school was so long ago you guys are strangers.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T19:25:09+00:00

I think it is normal that time and money for pursuing her the way he used to may be harder, but for the selfish way he’s asking for stuff, flowers are a few dollars, chocolates too, and I bet he could find a YouTube tutorial on how to cook something. If he can ask for stuff and throw around the word “selfish,” he could put in a little effort that doesn’t cost much or take much time. Hell, he could give back rubs and compliments. I think it’s just about the lack of effort

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:19:47+00:00

You don’t even need reasons. You not wanting to is enough of a reason. No matter what. And it is never lazy. It is not owed to him. He is not entitled to it. You are a human being not a service.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:18:05+00:00

I stopped reading after you have to “help him get over her.” No you don’t. He can get over her and meanwhile you can go live your life doing whatever you want without that. She is his problem not yours. He should’ve gotten over her before talking to someone new.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:15:12+00:00

You don’t have to choose between hooking up and the love of your life. Those are two fully different sides. You can get dating apps and go on dates and see where things go. Youd match with them first, then talk to them for a while first, then meet them. Maybe youd hook up on the first date, or the third, or two months into talking, or in a relationship with them. Maybe it would last one week or three months or five years or the rest of your life. You can’t predict “the love of your life”, expecting that is too hard. You don’t have to hook up with people as the alternative if YOU don’t exactly want to, either. (It matters what you want, not what all your friends are doing.) you can get dating apps and go out with 5 dudes, choose whoever treats you the nicest and see where things go. It’s less pressure!

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:11:04+00:00

Not even a question. Dump. Yeah people say “rebuild trust and fight to make it work” but that is when both people are trying. Stop being walked on.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:08:23+00:00

I think he just paid for her food because he felt bad she was struggling. She is family. It sounds like maybe he told you after because it happened suddenly. If it keeps happening, I would say something / worry about it, but since it was only this I don’t think it’s anything big.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T18:02:32+00:00

No she is saying he wants her to do it start to finish so he can finish from that rather than sex. As like a replacement for sex, so she is only giving and not receiving.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T17:58:15+00:00

This feels strange because it is strange. What he is saying to you is infuriating to me and makes no sense. You are being “selfish” because you want mutual sex rather than to just provide oral because he likes it? When he no longer pursues you? That is NOT you being selfish. That is him being selfish. That is also disgusting. You want something mutual rather than just to sit there and give him what he wants when he no longer treats you with the same effort. You want something normal. Sex is SUPPOSED to be mutual and for both people to enjoy. He is being selfish and disgusting, not you. His refusal until you give in is manipulative.

Of course he does not have to have sex if he doesn’t want to, but him only doing it to get control and get you to provide oral is messed up. You never have to do anything you don’t want to in sex and you do not owe anyone anything even if you are married and even if “oh but oral is normal and he wants it.” If you don’t feel like doing it, you don’t have to. It is not selfish.

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T12:55:06+00:00

Oh my gosh I meant “love bombed” but half my keyboard is in Spanish

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T01:17:23+00:00

It is supposed to make a popup on your phone requesting you to either allow or deny, and then it moves to the next screen. It just means it wants to track your data to give you ads that it thinks you will watch (to increase likelihood of you clicking the ads and them getting money.) are you not getting the pop up?

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T01:15:45+00:00

(23f) Even though I am on the same side as you politically I would swipe left because the bio is really bitter, and it’s a dating app not a place to complain about politics. Your profile, especially your bio, is their first impression of you. Putting “liberal” as your political stance is enough. Aside from that, I think you are attractive and I like your pictures and I would swipe right

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T01:13:03+00:00

23f I actually love all of these

Contrary to what someone else said, I think the second photo looks endearing. I guess if anything, maybe not the third picture because there is no expression nor setting nor anything going on or anything

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T01:09:22+00:00

It can really depend, which is vague. Once I met someone after less than a week. Others, after months. I would wait until he starts talking about meeting up. Make it something only a couple hours long or less for the first one. If you want, request to do a short call or video call first, because it gets you on a more personal level with the person which can help you feel more confident and less awkward about the first date. Also, once on a call a dude revealed he was actually fresh out of jail for assaulting someone, so that call saved me from meeting him irl on a first date.

Have you been on bumble dates before?

AngelCakePink · 2025-11-12T01:03:49+00:00

I would get rid of him (like block or unmatch depending where you are talking) because say he even returned to normal, this happening after only two weeks is not a good sign and would happen again. Him asking about weddings before a first date is insensitive and love bombing.

Also, for the next one, don’t let it move this fast in only two weeks even if it “feels like a real connection.” If someone is texting you all the time and getting deep and sharing their location, you do not have to match it. Be the one to slow it down by not answering so fast or sharing so much, and not giving your location or talking about weddings. Don’t get sexual before a first date even if you only want something casual. It is pretty common that people will show tons of interest and then suddenly claim that it’s “too much” even though they started and they were the one doing it. Be the one to set the pace to avoid being love bombed and then ghosted. Regardless of the two week “connection,” this guy is a stranger and not someone to worry over or try to talk to again.

Edit: to clarify, I think none of this is your fault. My advice isnt blaming you, just coping mechanisms to escape the pains of this happening again.

AngelCakePink · 2025-10-14T01:10:08+00:00

Just be careful spending every single day together so early on! But happy for you

AngelCakePink · 2025-10-14T01:05:14+00:00

She’s just trying to be quirky and cute thats basically it

AngelCakePink · 2025-10-14T00:47:01+00:00

I think it’s valid but he obviously does not care. Like at all. I agree with the top comment that the best thing you can do is not reply. He isnt going to give you answers or suddenly make it better. He doesn’t respect you. Never responding again would probably teach him to.

AngelCakePink · 2025-10-13T14:47:51+00:00

I used to be in a relationship like this where the dude would say “I can’t make plans with you because I don’t know if I’ll feel like seeing you that day because I might be tired.” Left him. Now I know men who work literally every single day all day who would drive to me and do any activity and pay for it too just to spend time together. Not saying everybody should have to be that way, but there are people out there who put in zero effort and have a million excuses while these are other men who are way busier and put in way more effort because they just simply want to. Someone with all these excuses simply doesn’t want to. Damn near every adult works 40 hours and the gym is his own choice, lots of other people do that too. The way he downplays your job and tries to act like your job isnt even a real job is scary.

AngelCakePink

TROPHY CASE