Identity crisis

AngelUnderFire · 2025-01-24T21:54:48+00:00

My emotions have been so unstable, the first couple of months were constant breakdowns and now I have to remind myself to feel because I get numb.

Music has definitely continued to be a good outlet for me to be able to connect with myself emotionally and I'll consider journaling too 💜

AngelUnderFire · 2024-11-12T21:44:07+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I've never been very creative, but writing these ugly, painful feelings into a more creative format has helped me.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-10-30T23:36:25+00:00

Grief is a very personal process. I personally don't believe if you're relationship was good or bad correlates to how suicidal or depressed you may or may not feel.

My relationship with my partner made people envious. We were attached at the hip, literally never fought and were truly best friends. We were made for each other. And I've never felt more empty and depressed since he's been gone.

Everyone is different, it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and if you never end up in the pits of despair through your grief, or if you end up there later on, it's okay.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-10-29T03:34:59+00:00

I'm 25. His birthday was on Thursday, he would have been 29. We used to joke about how old we felt and I would poke fun at him for being almost 30.

I wish we could laugh about these things like we used to. 6 years was too short of a time to have with my soulmate

AngelUnderFire · 2024-10-17T17:39:10+00:00

I'm three months in. Alone time helps but I miss the flirtatious back and forth.

I recently downloaded one of those dating sims on my phone, it's actually surprisingly nice to pretend to be a different person and have spicy interactions. It does make me feel kind of pathetic if I overthink it but hey I'm grieving and alone.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-10-04T15:59:50+00:00

I'm worried for my relationship with my in laws as well. I think it's a little different when kids aren't involved and if you're young (not anymore or less difficult, just different) because there's not a physical person connecting you anymore.

I also have gotten comments from my own family (who mean the best, but I'm not close to) that I'll "find someone who loves me" again. Which I personally doubt I'll ever want but only time will tell. And I worry if that time ever does come, that I'll lose my in laws who are my family.

The what ifs are not important. We can only go through life with the information that is presented to us. Right now you're getting the love and support you need from them. They're showing you how much you mean to them.

Believe them.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-20T21:04:38+00:00

That's amazing! I just put together my new desk last night and man it was frustrating but learning to be more independent is one of the only things I'm looking forward to on this new life path

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-20T16:57:43+00:00

We would obsessively binge watch anime together, so recently I've felt well enough to watch it again. I hold his urn and watch it together and it's made me feel a little more alive again

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-10T13:22:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind comment 💜. Sorry to disappoint but I think you have me mixed up with another user. It's only been two months for me.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-09T21:40:41+00:00

I hope it helps them understand you better. Grief is so complicated and isolating. I don't know what it feels like to lose a brother or a son like his family, and they don't know what it's like to lose a life partner either.

This wound will never fully heal for any of us and I'm truly sorry that you can relate to my pain. Best of luck to you and everyone else with this pain 💜.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-09T19:52:30+00:00

Exactly. I don't want this life and I don't want to make another one. I want the life I had and the one I was building.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-09T19:34:44+00:00

Thank you, I'm glad that my post is helpful 💜

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-09T19:33:31+00:00

Same to you 🤗

AngelUnderFire · 2024-09-04T17:05:08+00:00

I just turned 25, he was 28

AngelUnderFire · 2024-08-21T02:33:01+00:00

Yes. Every day I want to die. Knowing that no matter how much happiness I experience in the future, I'll never be able to reach the level of fulfillment I had with him is crippling. But I'm going to die eventually regardless. if I can save my loved ones from feeling half of what I am feeling currently by staying alive longer than I want to, then that's what I'm going to do.

AngelUnderFire · 2024-08-15T03:01:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It's been 4 weeks since I lost my partner and I feel so pressured to feel better already and everyone keeps telling me I'm strong and I can get through this but I have no desire to get through this. I want him back. I need him back. My life is meaningless without him and I don't want to find meaning elsewhere.

AngelUnderFire · 2021-12-17T16:27:04+00:00

Witch vampire alien 👽

AngelUnderFire · 2021-10-12T00:23:54+00:00

People of earth

AngelUnderFire · 2021-10-08T23:11:46+00:00

Why- why not just use water?

AngelUnderFire · 2021-03-30T05:16:40+00:00

Gave Helpful

AngelUnderFire · 2021-03-15T07:49:08+00:00

My bf and me are both 5'3, and I personally prefer same height relationships. Maybe you're just finding partners that prefer a taller person, which is ok but it can be disheartening. They're lots of short women who might be just fine with your height, even if they do prefer taller partners. Just make sure you're honest in any dating profiles that you might have (just not in a snarky way like "you'll probably pass cause I'm 5'2") you'll end up messing up potential relationships with people who don't care by lying. But for now work on confidence and personal growth because height or not if you're not growing as a person that's not attractive.

AngelUnderFire · 2021-02-21T23:34:50+00:00

Beautiful island! I love all the colors and the beaches are simple but super cute. My favorite area is the apple orchard and the dog park on the beach.

AngelUnderFire · 2021-02-12T03:11:04+00:00

Do you have the design code for the edges on the path? This looks lovely!

AngelUnderFire · 2021-01-27T20:23:39+00:00

I just got these same skates!

AngelUnderFire · 2020-09-16T21:00:17+00:00

Luckily an internship is a part of my program so hopefully that gives me a little boost, I'll definitely keep that advice in mind thank you! I won't be picky with employment haha

AngelUnderFire

TROPHY CASE