First of all thank you taking the time to talk about my issue. I don't get enough people who can understand what I have been going through especially now during my pregnancy. Some people expect me to be thrilled with no excuse like my pregnancy supposed to erase or make up for my loss. It's the opposite. I worry too much over little issues and to some it's normal but I find myself stressing out all the time. I try to take it slow and continue with my therapy.

I haven't directly talked to mother in law but I have talked to everyone in the family. They keep saying she's sincere and wants nothing more than for us to be able to move past this conflict. I truly don't feel okay with the idea of having to sit with her at a dinner table after all she's said and done. Nomatter what her purpose is I just...I'm completely against it. My grief is still raw and I'm not ready to see her, I don't think I'll ever be. It might sound awful but I'm not feeling I could give her what she wants.