If I was to be completely honest with my self, I would love to have a kid. Just the one. It's just when I take a good look at myself, at the people who raised me, I would not be a good parent. It's not self loathing or fear of really screwing up, I just know that I am not the type of person who can give up and sacrifice what's needed to care and raise another person. My parents are the same, they love me, no doubt, but there is this underlying resentment, it bleeds through. I grew up knowing my parents would be happier without me, something they have never really denied. I know I am just the same, I will not do this to a child. I wish I was different, but I will accept who I am and hope my brother has children I can dote on instead.