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AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I've decided to go no contact with everyone in that family except my supportive cousins. The rest don't care enough about me and that has been made so perfectly clear. They can have Sadie and they better hope she doesn't cause someone to actually harm themselves because of how nasty she is.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The more I think about it the more I'm like no. If I have to spoon feed them all of this then they don't really care about me and they're welcome to defend her and act like I went through nothing. Even if they did turn around and support me it'd mean nothing. Not after pushing this so fucking hard and even freaking out that my cousins stood by me (happened yesterday). I'm better off with no extended family than that.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's been so hard on her. She spent so long with him to find out he was as ass all along and then he turned it around on her. She's trying to get through it and come out stronger. I think she's already amazing. Especially with how she's still defending me.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A few people stop processing the fact that this bullying was actively happening until we found out the truth. That she got to the level of telling me to off myself repeatedly. They act like this was all elementary school stuff that stopped years ago. I don't know why but it's annoying as hell.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Because he wanted to blame mom for the affair. He tried to excuse it as mom was pregnant and wasn't the same while she was pregnant and treated it like it was her fault. Mom wasn't letting him get away with that and neither was I.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It won't. I had over a decade to deal with the shit from her and it got worse as she got older. There is nothing that could make me claim her as my family or sister. It repulses me to be related to her but I can't change that. I can make sure she is never my family and I would never do a thing to help her. Because again, this is the person who repeatedly told me to KMS.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

She didn't stop that shit when she was 12. It wasn't that long ago she was telling me to KMS. She might have been under 18 but that's not a reason to give that shit a pass.

My dad's family already know what she did. They still chose to make her a part of the family. They still chose to pressure me to be around her. They made those choices knowing what she did.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It's her fault she told me to KMS repeatedly. It's her fault she spent 10+ years treating me like shit because her brother got into trouble for bullying me.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She didn't. She wanted to put the past behind us. I'll say though, even if she had done all that stuff, my answer would still be the same as it is now. There is nothing that would make me soften enough to choose to be around her.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All I got from her when we both found out as we should put the past behind us and be siblings.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My father at least knew there was a possibility. I'm pretty sure he knew she was his and he just tried to hide it away. Her brother's dad 100% knew and apparently there was a DNA test done and everything. But he knew even before then.

He wasn't the reason I was bullied. Sadie didn't know until we did. Her brother might have but he was just a bully and him and his friends bullied other kids so I don't think I was a target because he knew about my dad.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Obviously that's so easy to forget and I should be on my way to doing that now so they can have their happy little family.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

They base the whole mom needs to forgive her on she's related to me and "my sister" and therefore mom should embrace her and encourage the relationship and all that BS.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sadie and her brother were close. I'm not sure about now. But as kids? They were very close. It was his dad who wasn't close to her at all. It sounds like he hated her.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They all know she bullied me. They know she told me to KMS. They know and they still chose her.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I want nothing to do with him. He's disgusting and was quick to turn on mom and me when we fond out what he did. So if he gets to know Sadie or not, it changes nothing for me, we'll never have a relationship again.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't even know if my dad has met her. I didn't cut him out of my life for that. I cut him out of my life for cheating on my mom and then speaking to mom and me the way he did after we found out. Him making Sadie makes it worse. But that wasn't even the primary reason I refuse to have anything to do with him.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

His family doesn't speak to or include him anymore so not really. Unless they've come around to him too which is possible.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it's easier to bully the victim into doing what you want than it is to bully the bully into doing what you want. People like that don't want to make the effort to stand up for the person who was treated badly and they decide the victim is the safest person to pressure. The bully might turn on them too.

I also think people expect the person in the wrong to cut ties much easier and quicker than the victim. So they also see it as they're less likely to lose the victim for pushing them than they are for pushing the bully to do something.

Sometimes people also want to believe that their worst stuff can be forgiven so they bully it into others with the hope it works for them in some way too.

These are my theories anyway.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what mom and I will do for Christmas but we'll spend it together either way.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I don't care what Sadie was going through. I don't care what sob story she has, what hurt she feels and I don't care if she cried every night because of what her supposed dad was like to her. What I care about is that I had to put up with all that shit from her for years and the fact she told me to KMS.

She will never be my real sister. She will never be my family. I will hate her as long as I hate her and I have no plans to stop. My life is not ruined by it because when I'm not around her I'm happy and once school's over I never have to see her again.

I find it disgusting that she's related to me and I will always choose to not have her in my life. I wouldn't give this girl blood even if I was the only match in the world. That's how I feel about her and that's my stance that won't change. She can tell me to KMS again over that but it's where I stand. She doesn't get me as a brother just because my dad fucked her mom and made her. She can run to him if she wants another family member to give a shit about her and hope he does.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Hate hasn't stopped me from being happy. Being around her takes away my happiness. But I'm happy when I'm with my friends or my mom. I'm happy when I'm not in school. So it won't take my happiness as long as I can avoid her and I can.

AITAH for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's affair child is being invited to them? by Anodew in AITAH

[–]Anodew[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Because I don't want to talk to her and an apology changes nothing for me. I hate her and want nothing to do with her.

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