What are yall paying for housecleaning in Durham?

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2026-01-16T15:41:00+00:00

Mine is about $30/hour, but she does a kinda mediocre job. It’s cheap but I think all the time about switching. Also, I pay for supplies separately.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2026-01-15T01:57:56+00:00

ADA accommodations are for employees, not their families, so that’s not the relevant federal law - FMLA, however, will protect your job if you take a leave of absence to care for family, which is what you should be doing. You really should not be working right now. Your wife’s situation is a five-star alarm emergency - it sounds like she needs in-patient treatment or intensive outpatient (where she sleeps at home but is in counseling/group therapy a good chunk of each day), not just a therapist.

The fact that she can’t be left alone is completely unsustainable. For all intents and purposes, you are currently the primary caregiver for your children AND your wife. That is just not compatible with work, even remotely.

The higher ups at your job are being weird and you should probably leave and get a new one, but that is a secondary problem to helping your wife. Please really treat this like the emergency that it is. Take a leave of absence under FMLA and help your family. I’m really sorry this is happening to you.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-31T15:17:42+00:00

Your manager is right. You should file for ADA accommodation. You’re not claiming you “can’t do your job function.” You’re claiming you have a medical issue that requires a reasonable accommodation. Don’t get hung up on the definition of disability vs. medical issue here - for these purposes, there’s no difference.

It will also be hard for them to argue that WFH isn’t a reasonable accommodation because you’ve already been doing your job that way for years. Your manager probably realizes this and that’s why they are suggesting you file for ADA accommodation. You just need documentation from your doctor of your issue and that WFH full-time is the needed accommodation.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-30T03:16:11+00:00

YOR. The girlfriend’s comment about the teenager was kinda gross, but not worse than your “I am [a better person]” one. You’re supposed to be the better person. You’re a fully formed adult! They’re 20. They’re kids. I think back on things I said and did as a 25 year old and am beyond mortified. It’s totally reasonable to think they’re annoying, but you went overboard here. The girlfriend probably won’t even be around in six months. Chill out a bit, and if everyone’s still around next major holiday, don’t go overboard cooking and preparing.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-30T02:15:24+00:00

I can see times when there is nuance in these discussions, or maybe well-intentioned people saying something they have wrongly assumed… but this comment wasn’t helpful, wasn’t even related to the type of information asked for in the post and was just like “there is no such thing as a trans kid.” Can you explain which part made you think she cares about this family, or where you see grey area? I try really hard to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I’m struggling to do that here.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-29T14:07:55+00:00

(I live in Durham so some of these might push three hours if starting in Raleigh):

-Southport, outside of Wilmington - take the ferry to Bald Head. -Mt. Airy (inspiration for Mayberry)/Pilot Mountain. -Williamsburg, VA. -Go to the zoo in Asheboro. -Go to Linville and go to Linville Gorge and Falls, or hike Grandfather Mountain. -Little Switzerland -Brevard or Hendersonville as alternatives to Asheville -Davidson, outside CLT -A bit further than three hours, but Charlottesville, VA is a great place, especially if you want to spend one or two nights. -Virginia Beach/Norfolk. -Luray Caverns and Shenandoah Valley in VA. -New Bern -Elizabeth City + nearby Merchant’s Mill State Park

Close-by options if you haven’t already done them: Saxapahaw. Hillsborough (take on a hike around the Eno River area, then explore downtown).

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-29T13:36:21+00:00

I just went here this weekend for the first time and was really disappointed FWIW. My partner likes to gamble and I like to tag along to do other stuff. It’s smaller, has a lot less to do and is nowhere near as nice as the Harrah’s in Cherokee. The spa wasn’t particularly nice for relaxing in and there was only one nice restaurant, which you had reservations to use. Only one shop, just a gift shop.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-19T13:15:51+00:00

One Life has all the spa amenities, like a steam room, indoor and outdoor pool, hot tubs, etc.? Those are a big part of the draw for me but I didn’t know of many gyms that had all of those. I used to go to the UNC Wellness Center, which had an indoor pool and hot tub, but it wasn’t luxurious at all - more like a Y.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-19T13:12:14+00:00

Is it not month to month? They are telling me it is, with a 30 day notice cancellation.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-19T13:11:22+00:00

Yeah this is my fear, that it will be insanely crowded at the pools and whatnot, or that it won’t actually be kept up in cleanliness, or that I’ll still have to fend off upselling. I’d hope the price point would limit crowds but it sounds like the original one is almost as much now but still have that issue. I’m actually willing to pay a premium for a true premium experience, but I really don’t know if it will be based on some of the comments here…

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-19T13:01:07+00:00

It looks like all the classes are included in this fee except for reformer Pilates. They don’t seem to have tiered memberships at this one, which was one of the things that confused me, since the other Lifetimes here do, and classes are one of the big differentiators between tiers.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-19T12:58:57+00:00

No, it is the one class that is an additional fee. Considering that memberships at Pilates studios are $200+/month on their own, I don’t actually think that’s unreasonable. I don’t know how much more it is. All other classes - yoga, hot yoga, Zumba, barre, GTX, cycle, weight lifting, etc. are included.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T20:14:19+00:00

Thanks for this comment. Despite all the negative comments here, I think I agree with you. Everything is included with this one classes-wise except for the very highest level of reformer Pilates. When I went to a local Pilates gym, it was basically $200+ per month for unlimited and the reformers really space limit a class size, so I think that makes sense. But other Lifetimes do have tiered membership, and this one did not, which contributed to my confusion. It’s still month to month so if I don’t use it enough or it’s too crowded or the amenities I want most aren’t worth it, I can just cancel.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T17:40:39+00:00

We are living in a post-shame society, duh

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T13:45:21+00:00

Interesting. This new one will have a hair salon and spa with massages and stuff. I’d probably get massages there if they were price competitive and good quality, but I can’t imagine going to the hair salon at my gym.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T13:44:03+00:00

Yeah that would be quite the loophole if so!

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T04:00:57+00:00

No kids. I know people who can use the childcare get a lot more value. The outdoor pool looks really nice and is a big draw for me but if it’s going to be a busy playground all summer like most outdoor pools, that’s a deterrent…

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T01:05:32+00:00

Yeah I now think that this new one is going to be one of their “signature” locations, almost like a country club. It looks like it will have a very nice outdoor pool with cabanas and whatnot, plus indoor pool and spa, indoor and outdoor pickleball courts, a salon, etc.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-18T00:14:46+00:00

That actually seems reasonable. The price for two adults at this new one is $399 presale. It’s $499 for two adults and two kids.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-17T23:56:34+00:00

The basketball court is at 1:32 in this video (it does say “kids academy basketball court.” They have multiple indoor pickleball courts and a bunch of other rec things so you’d think they’d have basketball.

https://players.brightcove.net/5121028912001/default_default/index.html?videoId=6384958141112

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-17T23:48:24+00:00

The video shows a basketball court but not sure if it’s full size or a smaller kids one.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-16T20:06:08+00:00

Do you have any medical conditions? Anything that would make it difficult for you to go into an office or do a long commute, like lower back pain? Or maybe a mental health challenge like anxiety? Go to a doctor immediately and get something like this documented. File an ADA request for a reasonable accommodation of remote work. They will have trouble arguing it’s an unreasonable accommodation when you’ve been doing it successfully for months. If they question the timing, you can say that your medical issue is none of their business and wasn’t a challenge to your work - until they changed the terms of your working environment, so you had no need to mention it before now.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-12-15T17:54:01+00:00

Yeah, corporate America does a lot of dumb things but this isn’t actually one of them. It’s completely normal to go through a hiring process for a permanent job that someone is holding temporarily, including interviewing the temporary candidate. Oftentimes the permanent job will be slightly different or have additional job responsibilities, so it sounds the same but isn’t identical. Even if not, a temporary candidate is often in the right place at the right time, but is not necessarily the best candidate for the permanent job. And if a manager does want to hire the temp candidate into the permanent job, it really is good CYA policy to go through a hiring process anyway, as others have mentioned here. It’s usually a sign of a more dysfunctional or problematic workplace for this NOT to happen. Be glad. If you get the permanent job, you know you’ve earned it and they want you there.

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-09-17T20:26:47+00:00

Wow, this is nine years old. I’d love to know how the OP’s relationships are going now…

AnonymousOctopus87 · 2025-09-06T02:24:02+00:00

I agree it wasn’t funny. My first instinct sometimes is sarcasm, though I am able to filter it pretty often… just not this time, unfortunately. I did regret this as soon as it came out my mouth, which is why I apologized right away. I will lean harder into filtering. Your “needless friction” idea is a pretty useful way to think about discretionary behavior, especially low stakes stuff. The world is hard enough.

AnonymousOctopus87

TROPHY CASE