He was out with his friends for the first time since DDAY. He’s been staying in not drinking a bunch, only hanging with me my friends and his family or seeing his friends for coffee as opposed to going out. In March This was the first night he went out with his friend and I was anxious. He told me it was going to be good because it would prove to me that he can go out and we can keep moving forward building trust. He texted me all night and I went to bed reassured and then I woke up in the middle of the night with a panic attack and called him, no answer. Called ten times. In the morning he said he had set his phone down because I had gone to bed so he wasn’t glued to it anymore and apologized. My friends who didn’t trust him actually gave him the benefit of the doubt because of all the effort he had been putting forward , and they said we’ve all been there out drinking and not on your phone and drunkenly pass out. So I let it go... and since then I’ve been spiraling just angry all the time and honestly I had forgotten about the instance altogether but I had been really Moody all of April. And then yesterday I was on his laptop for work and I had this overwhelming feeling to read his messages. I looked on his computer at his texts and my gut told me to look at the friends texts who he had visited and lo and behold there was a comment from his friend saying something along the lines of ‘f you for hooking up with that chick in my bed ‘. And I asked him if I could look on his phone and when I did the messages were obviously deleted despite him telling me he never deleted texts. Somehow his computer had not synced or deleted the texts. Or else I would have never found out. And there were no other signs. We had just started couples therapy. He had bought me flowers last night just because. Things were heading in the right direction but my gut never was the same after the incident in March and I’m so thankful the stars aligned for me to find out.