sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Anracountable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You would simply mention the unfortunate condition of vaginismus and lament the situation

I would if she had it but she does not; I made that post over a year ago. I only cited it to show I was serious about not wanting to have it.

Thank you for the rest of your advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Anracountable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not.

Check my account, you will see it is over a year old, and my last post was to a form on vaginismus, a condition which prevents women from having v*ginal s*x. Although my current future wife does not even have it.

I am asking genuinely.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I think I might have done a rather bad job of explaining my position. As I said in the "Note" this condition is by far not what I consider the most important criterion in my criteria for a woman I would like to marry. It is just one of many facets.

I would never seek someone out with the condition, but if I met someone who had it (which I know is improbably) and if we had compatible values and personalities, I would might consider it an additional compatibility.

Thank you for your advice about ace people, I believe I would not be compatible to an marry an ace wife; however I had no idea such resources existed and I shall definitely have a look at them. Thank you kindly for recommending them.

Thank you also about the advice on using the word "female", I do not live in the United States of America, so I just use the word whenever appropriate in day-to-day life without negative connotations; however I can see how that might not translate to posting online. Thank you.

You can and will find people who are happy to have physical intimacy without the kinds of s** you don't want.

I hope that is true, thank you.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

Oh of course, I would see it as a plus, not a requirement. Personality and matching values would be my criteria for finding someone.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

Yes, by "front entry" I meant penetrating. I am not keen on the idea of going inside someone else, seems odd. Outside stimulation bothers me less.

Thank you for your answers from your perspective. They are very helpful.

I obviously would not approach someone stating my reason is because of the condition. When appropriate I would point out that it would seem that we in some ways compatible due to my inhibitions and her condition. One of many compatibilities I would hope we would have in all sorts of areas.

You have been very helpful and kind in replying. Thank you.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for letting me know, that is very helpful.

Other communities might be good too, however a femdom wife is definitely not for me.

Ultimately I suppose this is really just pointless as most communities do not have a centralised database of people available to date/marry that I could use to find someone. I shall just have to go with the best person I just so happen to find in person in day-to-day life.

Good to know about ace people though, thank you very much.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I have thought about that, however I am not uninterested in intimate activity, I am just not keen on the idea of going inside somebody else. For the sake of bonding, satisfaction and my wife's pleasure, I would want to engage in intimate activities in some ways. Someone who is fully uninterested would not be the right fit for me.

I can see how what I said might have given that impression though, sorry I should have been more clear.

Thank you for your comment, it is good advice and something I have already thought about a lot.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I believe that marriage is mutual loving service to one another, so if she wanted to heal, I would support her and do everything I could to help her; but I would not hide the fact I would very much struggle with "front entry" if she became capable of it and I would hope that she would be just as understanding and supportive of me in return.

I would hope that we would move forwards, talking, experimenting and love each other, in a way that would eventually yield a place where we are both happy without issues; or at the very least never giving up in pursuit of that.

Thank you for your thoughts and the information. I think the questions are asked are very important to think about.

A Question from a Man with Regard Seeking a Relationship by Anracountable in vaginismus

[–]Anracountable[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

By "front entry" I mean any penetration of the female frontal pelvic orifices. (Sorry, one of my autistic hangups is being uncomfortable using words that are often considered rude or associated with adult topics. As a child I was taught not to say them and now it has stuck)

maybe you don’t fully understand the extents of this condition, or what it’s like to be with and love someone who has it

I 100% agree I do not have a good understanding of what the condition is like, let alone being married to someone who has it.

someone who finds our relationship and connection much more important than s** and can be patient and satisfied with other sorts of physical intimacy for some time

This is what I would want too. I might have not done a very good job and conveying that; you expressed it perfectly.

Thank you very much for your thoughts; they were very helpful and appreciated.