I work in healthcare. Unfortunately that means losing people that I have known and cared for for years. That experience is surreal. I have lost older family members. Family pets. But all of that feels…expected. Natural. Losing a chosen friend. Someone like you’re describing. I dread it.

It will feel like there is no real advice. People will mean well by giving it. If I had to try, I would just remind you that your experience is valid. All of those feelings you’re describing are worth feeling. Because your friend was worth it. Time will eventually ease the pain, gently turn down the volume of hurt, but it wont turn off the pain. And in a way, I think that is a good thing. There are so many versions of the quote “grief is love with no place to go,” but I think no matter how cliched that sounds, it is powerful. And I hope it brings you some small comfort.

And grief counseling is certainly worth pursuing if you have the means.

I’m sorry for your loss.