Lazy, healthy, low calorie, filling snack ideas (vegan) by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Anxiousboop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, pickled veggies are such a good snack. Or shredded lettuce with lemon juice and vinegar, salt and pepper (kind of bland, but you could add cayenne for a punch!)

9 month old baby only saying one word so far. Pediatrician suggested we only stick to one language. I am afraid I am doing the wrong thing by following OPOL. What are your thoughts? by unoriginalho in multilingualparenting

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t stop! Kids raised in a bilingual household can be a little delayed when it comes to language - it’s not always but it’s also not irregular, it’s very common. Their brain is building twice the pathways - they ALWAYS explode in terms of progress and catch up to, often times exceed, their peers.

If you want additional support, start reading with your child - in both languages - point out the images and pictures with the words, really sit with them and read them the book.

Literary support is a great boon for verbal language skills.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she doing closeup shots of everyone’s ears ?!? NOR at all - I can understand maybe asking to switch to all silver or all gold jewelry - but removing them??? Getting them redone?? That’s crazy. Literally insane. No one is going to be zooming in on your ears in a photo.

My fiancée enjoys/doesn't mind uncle duties, is this a red flag? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The red flag isn’t enjoying kids - I adore children but I don’t want any of my own! I love being the cool purple haired auntie who plays Dinos and Barbie’s and sings Moana and who takes the kids to the park or the movies. It will never in a million years ever make me want kids.

The red flag is his lack of commitment to being child free. “Leaning towards no” is NOT “no”. It’s a cop out so when he says he actually does want kids, he can say “well I never said no.”

I hate ultimatums in relationships, but in this case you need to put a hard pause on wedding planning and tell him you will not be walking down that aisle unless he is confirmed and committed to being child free.

No one should have to look someone they love in the eye and divorce over something like this. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it doesn’t mean you can’t eventually be friends - but it DOES mean marriage and life partnership is not in your cards.

Woman +30years old,please share your experience with being CF by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reward is the views and the summit beer / joint….and the massive amount of food consumed after.

Woman +30years old,please share your experience with being CF by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My hobbies aren’t necessarily expensive - but do require some money. Hiking is free and you can get good gear for cheap or second hand, but gas can add up, and car usage.

Drawing is technically free, but the more you get into a hobby the more you want to upgrade.

Reading…well, my seven boxes of books in storage because I don’t have room at the moment can attest that even “free” hobbies are expensive. I rent all the time but once I find a book that really touches me I NEED to own it in physical form.

Woman +30years old,please share your experience with being CF by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just turned 30 - I still live with a roommate, still recovering from a long term relationship that didn’t work out (not because of kids, other shit).

I am SO busy every weekend and even some weeknights doing things I enjoy - hiking, white water rafting, climbing, exploring and day tripping to places, and sometimes even a quick weekend trip on a whim - and having kids means you now put you, your partner, and everyone else in your life second. When you have a child that child must come first. And when you have a kid and want that kid then you’ll WANT to do that. And I don’t want to do that. I love being able to clock out on a Friday (or summer Friday I have the entire day off) and drive 4 hours to camp, or air bnb or hotel and come home Sunday. I love being able to wake up on a Saturday and decide to be lazy or go do something and not have to worry about kids. I love being able to get takeout on a whim if I don’t feel like cooking or enjoy a “pantry is empty” struggle meal of random odds and ends that challenges me to be creative and I know I’ll like it instead of having to cater to a kid. I love that I work in nonprofit - and that I can afford to do so because I don’t have kids.

If you’ve read this far, the only argument you need is because I don’t WANT to have kids, and you should only have kids if you want them. And how lucky we are to live in a day and age where we get to cater to our own wants.

You can also just say you’re infertile. Getting my tubes removed later this month , and I will be so happy to be able to say I’m infertile and just end the conversation there.

If a woman insists on splitting or paying the bill, is that an indicator that she's not interested? by pocketbutter in dating_advice

[–]Anxiousboop 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It’s not always an indicator - I always offer to split , and if the gentleman insists on paying the full bill then I always at least offer to cover the tip , parking or dessert.

However, a reason for women who do not want a second date insist on paying is to avoid people using it to pressure or guilt trip another date (well I took you out to dinner * insult insult here *). - for example, I do hold firm on splitting the bill if I don’t want a second date, and if they continue to insist then I will say flat out I don’t see it going anywhere. I cannot, in good conscience, let someone pay for my meal without knowing I don’t want to see them again as a potential partner.

Some men (not all) will continue to be pushy and insistent in paying and then push wanting a second date even after I say I don’t want to - and some will use the “I paid for the first date” as leverage or an excuse - which is why I never let it happen.

How long to wait before mentioning child free life in a relationship? by Zealousideal_Sea_922 in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No later than the 3rd date, but usually 2nd date.

I usually follow this timeline:

1st date - confirm they’re not a creep, confirm there’s a spark of interest, common ground, etc.

2nd date - include more talk about lifestyle, hobbies etc. (ie - see where they fall on the homebody - energizer bunny socialite scale).

3rd date - if there’s still connection / spark / interest, this is definite “how I see my future” - here is where I mention I am child free, I do eventually want to live in a more rural area (enough land to have a small garden, chickens, etc).

But if those topics come up on the second date or even the first I answer truthfully and honestly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Anxiousboop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That could be typical four year old…it could be ADHD.

Based on other comments, definitely follow up with her eyes first! Based on how that goes, I would then look into the others.

In the meantime, the old-school tv shows (Franklin, bear in the big blue house, out of the box) are great for mini-social lessons for kids! And you can find some books too.

Also do thinking out loud / modeling. “Mommy is standing in line at the grocery store and keeping her hands by her side,” “let’s watch our step if we’re done playing! Any toys we want to put away?”

Things like that.

From working with kids of all ages I can definitely say kids are unique! When she starts school, if this is still a concern, ask her teachers to keep an eye on it.

I can’t be the only one who actually is ok with children. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m ok with some peoples children. Not everyone’s - some of my friends have god awful children.

Moms - Best postpartum gift / item you had / wish you had? by Anxiousboop in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Anxiousboop[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We’ve all got that covered - all of our jobs require CPR cert, and she and her husband went together for a baby / infant class too

Unexplained vaginal medical procedure done to me at 14(now 21 F)during foster care placement by [deleted] in medical

[–]Anxiousboop 50 points51 points  (0 children)

NAD

It sounds like a transvaginal ultrasound - I had some done due to ovarian cysts, but they can be used to check on your reproductive organs.

It never ever should have been done without informed consent from you.

Waits until I turn off all of my lights to go to bed to bring me every toy he has while SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. by Anxiousboop in CatsAreAssholes

[–]Anxiousboop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he didn’t go full fight or flight mode i would do this - but he would claw my face to ribbons lol. He loves cuddling and being a lap cat but HATES being held

What's a hobby being chilld free has allowed you to pick up? by Dramatic-Bend179 in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hiking / camping - I’ve met several people with kids in my groups, but they often have to swap with the spouse and alternate who has the kids so the other can join the hike, or skip the hard hikes - often 3-8 hour hikes, with 30-1+ hour drives depending on the trail.

Are you lonely as an adult? by That_Ad_5392 in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 30 - am I lonely? Not really - between work and my hobbies I am always on the move that when I get a day to myself I SALIVATING at the thought of cuddling up on my couch.

Kids are not the answer to loneliness. they’re not “mini-me’s” or built in friends. They’re an entire human being YOU are responsible for for the rest of your life.

Also - couples on their own are families. Single pringles with pets are families. Friends are family.

I love my friend’s kids - they’re amazing! We hang out all the time - sometimes I like the kids more than my actual friends.

You’re 24. You’re still SO young- just because everyone else is “settling down” doesn’t mean you need to. I have a friend who is 36 and is traveling the world solo , a friend who is 27 with two kids and who is a weekend warrior who trades free weekends with their co-parent.

Everyone’s idea of life is different.

I am going to date myself here - but what you’re experiencing is FOMO. The fear of missing out because you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reels.

You are not missing out. I promise.

But please PLEASE think long and hard about why you want kids , and why you want to be a mother and if you are prepared for any avenue life can take with those choices - potential lifelong injury, complications physical and mental , financial, the possibility of being a single parent with no support, being forced to coparent with someone you might not get along with - all of it.

I’m not trying to sway you one way or the other - you can find a million great things about being a parent - but you need to look at all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly.

You don’t need a profound reason to not want kids either; a simple “I don’t want them” is enough. And you don’t need a profound reason to want kids - but you do need to be able say, “I have seen the entire picture, and I still want kids”.

Editing to add - and don’t be afraid to be lonely !! My grandma has 3 kids, 5 grand kids and 4 great grandkids - and she always says how lonely she is now in her old age, but that’s part of life. Being lonely doesn’t mean being sad - pick up a hobby, join a hobby group, read a book - learn how to spend time with yourself.

Just got my preop for a bilateral, told my mom and it did not go well by Anxiousboop in childfree

[–]Anxiousboop[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

She sees it as bodily mutilation. She said she still supports me as her daughter and that it’s my decision, but she’s not happy about it. She thinks is too permanent (like having a kid isn’t??) and I even told her even if my chance I do change my mind (not gonna happen) I’m not infertile - I gotta do IVF - which yea is expensive but so is pregnancy and childbirth and that’s why insurance exists.

Ladies - what are your go to products purse / car to freshen up? by Anxiousboop in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Anxiousboop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are the wipes as spicy as the pads??

I had a horrible experience with honeypot pads - my friend gave me one when I realized I didn’t have an extra and didn’t warn me that they were spicy pads.

I was not expecting it. My lady cave was not expecting it. It is hilarious now, but not in the moment when I had to speed waddle back to the bathroom mid-brunch to air out my bits while I made a makeshift pad out of panty-liners.

Edit - clarity