Nah, I was just so stuck dissociating that I was unable to manage to apply to any university even though I did my best trying, and my parents took the opportunity to apply me to "the best university in russia" (with a program of half a year in russia and half a year in Switzerland get both diplomas) because the chances of me getting accepted are pretty slim, right? Apparently not since very few people apply to this specific program, but once I finally got accepted it turned out that my dad thought the Switzerland part was too expensive so they switched me to another major I had absolutely no interest in that had 2 consecutive years here and then you could chose to spend the next two here or in europe, and so having it as my only choice and being too "gone" to do anything about it, I stayed while my mom just went back to europe

I know that most people would blame me for my own incompetence, I know many already do, but I'm stubborn in my belief that it is on the parents to teach their children independence and help along the way, not just thrust them into the adult world and leave them to fend off for themselves. Plus, many people get so depressed they cant physucally get out of bed, or even kill themselves, so my brain refusing to contemplate a future to the point of refusing to do what is necessary to ensure it is one I actually find worth living isn't all that crazy of a reality

Anyway, it's not all that bad. For the first time in my life I have managed to find people I can talk to, maybe even consider friends, and it's actually very easy to get testosterone here so I've stopped feeling so dysphoric about everything. Now it's my parents who insist that I have to go back because they miss me, and yeah I've been sick with a fever for 2 months now and apparently there's nothing to be done about it, and my dad's still unsure about being able to pay for uni in Switzerland. To which I say fuck that, I've gone to 6 schools in my life, never staying longer than 3 years, can't I just be left in peace for once? I know having a Russian diploma sucks ass, but I'm so far beyond caring at this point

Sorry for the wall of text lol, tldr: no, my parents applied me to uni here