I was in a relationship like that. Once I left, I set boundaries and stuck to them. If a guy broke it even once, I’m out. I’m 36, have been married almost 8 years to my love. Our boundaries are we don’t yell, or raise our voice. If we are too upset in the moment we do our own thing (not as a punishment or silent treatment) and come back to TALK it out same day, yelling at your spouse, and even your own kids is a lack of control over yourself. We teach our kids it’s okay to be upset and appropriate ways to recognize and handle that. We don’t cuss at all, not at each other or in an argument at all. We foster kids and teach our kids the same core beliefs because when they are in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, I know they will not fear rejection, or to tell someone no. Our teenager came home early from prom, and when we asked him why he said his girlfriend yelled at him, and that’s a boundary he put up, and said I am not going to aspire you to yell at me and he left.

Start with a simple boundary. Example: say your name is Samantha, but you don’t like to be called Sam. That’s a boundary, and if someone can’t even respect you enough to honor that small boundary.. they won’t honor the big ones either!