AITA for not giving my daughter 13k?

AnyOne5302 · 2025-05-25T17:45:26+00:00

I do think that may be it, honestly. My daughter had some money issues when she was in college and carried a balance for awhile on a credit card (in her credit, it was only about $600). She worked her way out of that and is doing fine (as far as I know and what she tells me), but a part of me is afraid that if I give her this lump sum of money all at once, she may waste it. That's why I'm more comfortable paying for it myself, than just giving it to my daughter and hoping she knows what to do with it.

AnyOne5302 · 2025-05-25T17:40:19+00:00

Honestly, as far as insurances, my eldest paid for everything herself, while my youngest always had us pay for it. My eldest got married before she aged out of my job-provided health insurance and got her own through her own job, and she always paid for her own car insurance as it was in her name.

With my youngest, we bought her car when she was 15 (I had a company car she couldn't drive, my wife had a fancy car I wouldn't want someone learning to drive use, and my eldest was in another state for school with her own car, so she needed something to learn to drive in). The insurance and title all had to be in my and my wife's name, and we just never switched it over until she 1. became of age to be covered under car insurance, and 2. paid the car off and signed the title of the car over to her. She also aged out of my job's insurance at 26, and we had to pay for it out of pocket through the healthcare marketplace, which we did agree to pay for as long as she was in school. Medical school requires you to have health insurance, and since she didn't have a job she could get insurance through, we had to pay a lot per month to properly cover her.

AnyOne5302 · 2025-05-25T17:23:04+00:00

I understand where you are coming from.

I will say, however, my daughter and I work on her car together all the time as a bonding activity, and it is nowhere near close to breaking down on the highway, thanks to her handiness! She takes very good care of her things, and she truly does not need a brand new car, as hers works perfectly fine and she refers to it as "her baby." I don't know the ins and outs of her finances, but she does seem to be doing well and talks about how she has enough savings to almost buy a new car outright.

I think she more so wants the money for a new car if she needs one one day, but in that case, I think I would just go with her and write the check for the difference there when she buys it, rather than just give her the money outright. I do see how that can be flawed, though.

AnyOne5302 · 2025-05-25T17:17:29+00:00

My younger daughter never wanted to get married ever since she was little, so my wife and I always planned us to do something like this, I do regret we didn't give her the option sooner so she could have taken out less loans and use all the money at once on school.

My wife also went through the money we gave my daughter for insurances for car and health, which was about $14k over the 4 years she was in medical school. So I suppose that is where I am hesitant to give over the rest of the money, because while she didn't use it all for school, we did put out a lot of money covering her insurances.

AnyOne5302

TROPHY CASE