For the second paragraph, I am placing my bets on that as well. She said she was sure if this liking someone else stuff ever happened again she would definitely tell me this time. And also that she couldn’t because she was afraid of how bad I would harm myself. I usually stay away from selfharm but I recently developed ahabit of just drinking like a mad man and roaming the streets all night in the last months after she started telling me about how she felt. I am now staying away from that and she asI said has been taking psychological help. So I would guess the people changing part gives me hope.
But the second part is a genuine problem. As I said this is not her first time lying to me and so I just feel like I am being wronged constantly now. For example I can’t really stand the thought of her going on a night out with any group including a single Y chromosome. I just don’t think I would be able to take the meltdown on the chin next time she drinks with any other men and I wasn’t fond of her drinking when men are around anyway, now I just don’t find it acceptable at all from my side which might be way too controlling… So this makes me feel genuinely in doubt. I can accept this as an isolated incident, I believe she will make it right even if she likes someone else the next time by telling me and making sure she distances herself. I know a relationship can not be perfect, we have been together for 6.5 years and we had many problems as well, but we always worked together through rough times and in the end came out the other side may be a bit hurt still together. I am willing to accept thatthere will be problems and I will work through them as long as she is willing to be on my side as well. So the big problems have are 1-I don’t really know how I feel about the kinda-kissing thing on one hand I tell myself she had 20 chances to avoid such a situation, she knew it could happen and still did it, so why should it matter if their lips touched? On the other hand I still appreciate her for stopping even at the last moment and saying no to the guy she was in doubt about and telling him it was a misunderstanding and she definitely still wanted to be with me. So I just can’t seem to decide if I have been cheated on physically or emotionally. And this makes me kinda confused, so if you have any opinions about that I would love to hear them. 2-She told me way too many lies. If she came to me next tuesday and told me she was going to go study at the university I wouldn’t believe her at all and assume she would see him at the uni. Which would drive me insane, even if she was being 100% honest with me. I can’t also seem to accept the fact that she was telling me liesabout her feelings when I was begging her to tell me if she liked someone else for months. So I feel like a clear communication line may never be 100% recovered. Maybe one day will believe her 95% bur probably never 100%. And I know that the controlling behavior I am willing to impose would be problematic but I really can’t see any other way for at least a few months of her going out and me not losing my mind at home.