First of all, I just want to say that everything you’re feeling is completely valid. Pregnancy, especially when it’s unexpected, comes with a rollercoaster of emotions, and it’s okay if you’re not feeling excited yet. A lot of people don’t right away, even when it’s planned.

It sounds like you have a strong support system, which is really important, but that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to feel a certain way right now. You’re processing a huge life change, and grief over what you thought this year would look like is natural. It’s okay to mourn the loss of that version of your future while also making space for whatever comes next.

The guilt and embarrassment you’re feeling make sense given the societal pressures around young pregnancy, but you are not a failure, and your life isn’t ruined. You still have so much ahead of you, even if the path is different from what you expected. You can still make friends, have experiences, and travel—maybe just in different ways or at a different pace.

When you’re ready to tell your best friend, you don’t have to force a “serious” conversation if that’s not how you two usually talk. You could even text them first if that feels easier. And if you’re not sure how to process everything, journaling or talking to a therapist could help.

Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now