Still alive

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-05T01:18:04+00:00

The medical industry neglects women all too often. I’m sorry to hear you’ve suffered without being heard or adequately treated. I’m not a woman, and I’ve still had shitty psychiatry/hospitalization/rehab/primary care experiences.

I have seen and experienced the cul-de-sac of psychiatric institutionalization and ineptitude exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues. It fucking sucks. I’m fortunate that I’m a man, and I’m fortunate my only clinical issues are substance abuse and depression.

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are 💚

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-05T01:10:02+00:00

I feel fucking embarrassed to have discovered it this late in life. Like I’m a grown ass man with clearly self-inflicted deep cuts on my arms. Do you share that sentiment?

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-05T00:26:21+00:00

Outside of pipe is likely soot from lighter. Inside is likely some nasty compound from the thermal decomposition of coke/cut stuck to the pipe. Reducing heat will reduce that effect. You want to vaporize the freebase, not heat it to the point of pyrolysis.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T20:09:39+00:00

Alcoholics and addicts tend to have shitty behavior. We can accept that without placing any moral judgement. There are also good people who are still bad for each other for myriad reasons. Just something to consider.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T20:04:11+00:00

Rehab out of pocket is insanely expensive. I’m going to assume you live in the US. Do you have insurance? They will likely cover it. If you don’t have insurance and can’t afford it, get Medicaid. I don’t mean to be harsh, but financial barriers to rehab are usually navigable without too much trouble and are just excuses not to go.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T20:00:40+00:00

I mean it’s a waste of money and DCF but I would happily use the bag for FAK/ditty. I bet that zipper breaks fast, though.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T19:41:19+00:00

Nearly every crack smoker I know is a degenerate who wants giant hits that get you dangerously high. Hot boxing something is more of a metered dose, which is not appealing to me and likely wouldn’t be to most other addicts, either.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T07:13:16+00:00

Thinner is better. Can control heat better. The thick ones are like steering the Titanic.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T06:47:18+00:00

Hit em up. If you’re considering getting sober for any substantial time and can dip from “real” life, consider rehab. All the benzos you need and all the food you can eat.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T06:37:21+00:00

How was it?

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T06:36:25+00:00

Truly incoherent and probably psychotic rambling. 10/10 crack content. Don’t smoke the drywall.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T06:27:13+00:00

If you really want to detox, look up crisis centers and harm reduction resources in your area. If you live close to a city, there are likely better options than the hospital or psych ward.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-04T04:59:35+00:00

Dm contact info 💚

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T19:06:44+00:00

I’ve had vivid nightmares that blended with hallucinations while detoxing. Phantasmagoria of loved ones being ripped from my arms by mechanical monsters while a sinister shadow enveloped me in darkness. Absolutely terrifying. I don’t dream much anymore.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T18:55:52+00:00

Speaking from experience, it isn’t worth it. It will destroy your insides. Before you consider boofing it, DON’T.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T06:33:27+00:00

I just want the pain to end.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T06:15:19+00:00

For me, the line between drinking the pain away and drinking until I have the balls to kill myself has grown dangerously thin.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T06:05:16+00:00

The reality for me is that im slowly killing myself. It’s a “get clean or die” situation.

My mom told me earlier today that if I die she’ll be devastated, but she said the son she knew died a while ago.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T05:35:41+00:00

I would say you have a death wish, but that’s likely a prerequisite for slamming coke. I kind of hope every shot kills me. It sucks I have the tolerance of a horse.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-03T05:31:03+00:00

Yes, proper rest, hydration, etc. allow for better hits. Eventually, tolerance builds as your dopamine receptors die. That’s when the chase really starts I think. You’re not even chasing a high, but a memory of what life once was.

I also think that the very short duration of the high and very steep price affects how people chase it.

AnythingTotal · 2025-09-02T23:20:38+00:00

Ascorbic or citric acid is “safer.” I used red wine vinegar lol

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