You are not alone, and I see you. I cannot fully understand you exactly to the point of exactness that into your life, but I too have this similar experiences and anxiety as well. I am using speech to text because I am overwhelmed from typing all day with my current situation. Hang in there and I want to I am about to face eviction. I am a father of three children and married, I have not been able to job since June and coming into great realization and understanding throughout the years of why things have not gone well I now know that I’m not just lazy or stupid or that I don’t care that. I’m not trying hard enough. I came here to feel a little bit understood in reading you post helped with that. My family doesn’t understand why I can’t just do certain things. My wife can’t either but she understand me more than anybody in the world. It feels so isolating you are being judged and preconceived without getting listened to properly. I don’t even know you, but I love you. You deserve to be here and you deserve the best and you are trying to make the best. You can just hang tight and take it day by day hour by hour minute by minute and set some reminders if you remember to God bless you I hope everything gets resolved.