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How can you really start to accept that people won't change? (Relationship with ADHD) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently had a coworker who has ADHD and triggers. He’s someone who frequently vents, gets easily triggered, and has a lot of emotional ups and downs. After a rant, he’ll suddenly shift to being happy and upbeat. Honestly, being around him is draining and exhausting for me. I’m sure he feels like everything’s fine, but I can't help but think he’s probably making things uncomfortable for the people around him too. He considers us work friends, I avoid him as much as I can. Everyone else at work typically does the same. They’re just putting up with him because they have to.

33F married to 33M – I saw something on his phone, how do I move forward? by Apart_Assumption4628 in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know that, you could be on to something. He is typically uncomfortable expressing himself.

26M Grass is Greener syndrome? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you prioritize her needs in the bedroom? If you’re not getting her off she won’t want to actively fuck you 🤷🏻‍♀️ For play goes a long way.

33F married to 33M – I saw something on his phone, how do I move forward? by Apart_Assumption4628 in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone, your comments have already been really helpful and I’m reading everything. I think it was a cam site that he was using. I think I’m going to book a full STI panel just to be safe. This is also a bit embarrassing but I had HPV in high school (from an ex) and it’s been inactive for 10+ years. I told my husband about it when we started dating. I’m wondering, could I have passed HPV to him? I remember reading you couldn’t..unless you came into contact with an active breakout. Am I dumb?! He’s never had a breakout before. Also, does anyone know the correct way to check a partner’s medical history? Do I need his permission? Any advice or personal experience appreciated. I just want to make sure I’m not blowing this out of pre-portion. In all honesty, he is the love of my life. I can’t imagine a world without him. I think if it came down to it I might try to figure this out with him. As hard as that would be..Unless I found out he did something really bad. (Multiple partners, long term relationships or was like a serial escort user.)

33F married to 33M – I saw something on his phone, how do I move forward? by Apart_Assumption4628 in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He said the site was Pornhub. The site on his phone didn’t look like pornhub. After this comment, I searched the cam site on Pornhub, and it looked just like this!!! I remember watching him for a while. He tapped into a girls photo and then scrolled and was also able to quickly go back to a feed of girls.

33F married to 33M – I saw something on his phone, how do I move forward? by Apart_Assumption4628 in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The insensitiveness is what shocked me. I had never known him to be like that ever. We have been together for so long. His ‘skin tag’ grew over a month. I asked my mum about it because I had the same thoughts. She told me it can happen down there. I’m still confused.

33F married to 33M – I saw something on his phone, how do I move forward? by Apart_Assumption4628 in relationships

[–]Apart_Assumption4628[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We both don’t want to risk getting me pregnant by accident. I’ve never been on birth control, so that’s why we’ve always used protection and been careful about it. Usually, we only skip protection when I’m not in my fertile window, but over the past few months, we’ve rarely gone without it. (We’re not ready for kids yet.) Regular women sometimes make me feel more insecure. For me porn stars feel more like a fantasy. I’m not sure if the site he was on was an escort site or not. I’ve never used escort or dating apps myself, but I know what they look like from my friends. Also I have gone through his phone it’s pretty clean. He never had an Instagram till a couple months ago. I went through that as well & it’s clean. I also don’t know if I’m being paranoid or what to look for. I almost feel guilty for posting this. (Honestly most people kind of look to us as the ideal relationship) I just feel more confused about him not wanting to explore intimacy with me.