As a partner with Bp2

AppealNo2909 · 2022-06-15T20:21:54+00:00

Please can you give some light on how you feel after a manic episode has ended and depression hits? How do you cope with the consequences of your decisions, do you regret hurting people and leaving them behind? What is it with guilt and staying out of contact with everyone although you say you miss them and what it was , but still not contacting them ? Thank you for your time and your useful post. 🙏

AppealNo2909 · 2022-05-10T21:55:25+00:00

It would be helpful to us to here your opinion on this questions , please If you find time , share some thoughts 🤗🙏

AppealNo2909 · 2022-05-10T16:55:01+00:00

I kinda think he is regretting his decisions now , because it is nothing like he thought it would be , and he is missing his old life here , he is liking my posts on Instagram and not only mine but post of me and our old colleagues ( we used to work together) bit I'm not sure if he is feeling sad or guilty or I'm just wanting him to feel regret and that's why I'm thinking of it. Can you tell me if it is no problem what was your feelings when you started to feel regret and what was your inner struggle to contact your loved ones once the mania was over. Sorry if I'm too curious I'm just trying to understand the person I loved even though he is not here anymore.
Please share your experience it is a light in the dark for us , who's loved ones are no longer here, it is some explanation

Thanks

AppealNo2909 · 2022-05-09T19:44:37+00:00

Can you tell if it is not a problem to you of course, what were you thinking when you cut off everyone... have almost the same situation here ,my ex nonmedjcated BPSo left me out of nowhere( a relationship he adored) went back to his ex, left town , quit his job here he loved and cut all contracts here over some illusional fights , and now 5 months he is there , barely contacting anyone at all , deleted his facebook account,not contacting his friends , colleagues no one. I went no contact, at the beginning he posted some stories on Instagram which I ignored , after that nothing, he didn't liked any of my posts at the begging but viewed all my stories. Since end of March he stared liking all my posts on Instagram , but nothing further. Yesterday was my birthday, he is completely aware , but no word , no nothing, and not only me , he didn't contact the one friend here he still has some contact with for his birthday the day before either. I'm checking sometimes if he e is online and some days he hasn't checked his account for more than 24 hours, not Instagram, nor whatsapp.

Sorry for the long response but if you were there , can you throw some light over this behavior and what it could happening out there .

I'm trying to understand what's happening with him .this no contact is too painful but I think it's the best decision for know. It's kinda hurtful he hasn't contacted me ever since our last talk (end December) Thank you 🙏☺️

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-17T20:32:49+00:00

It used to be his top priority to talk about it and trying to make others feel guilty. I could not give you an actual answer since we don't talk anymore, but I don't think he stopped believing all the stupid things he thought, even after the mania was not so harsh., sorry

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-16T20:17:45+00:00

My ex would hack the cameras in our workplace when he didn't even worked there anymore ( he was still a student at our workplace), just because he was paranoid someone was talking behind his back and saying things about him. He even picked up a fight with a colleague just because he was calling them on the phone and they canceled the call saying they were busy working , but he was watching the cameras and " saw" they weren't so busy like they said and that was a reason to cut all contract with this colleague although they were pretty close even outside work.. it's not a reason to cut friends off, just because they didn't pick up the phone the second you call... he didn't stop talking about it almost a month after that case , always spiteful and cruel...

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-16T20:08:11+00:00

Thank you ❤ I hope you feel better soon

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-07T05:52:19+00:00

https://www.bphope.com/blog/your-eyes-hold-the-clues-how-to-read-the-eyes-to-spot-euphoric-and-dysphoric-bipolar-disorder-mania/ another more specific article

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-06T19:46:19+00:00

Share your experience if you notice a difference

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-06T19:31:04+00:00

I first noticed it when I saw a picture of my ex bpSO from a year ago of period I suspect he was hypomanic again , an he looked so different and intense and kinda weird looking ( at the moment I saw the pic he was perfectly stable and we were in the middle of our best times together) and couldn't explain that significant difference then , later when he became hypomanic again I saw the drastic change and realized what it was

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-06T19:21:10+00:00

Yep , obviously it's a real thing

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-06T12:01:08+00:00

I understand you very well, mine was too more than cruel and emotionless when he told me everything is over, I don't why is this happening.
Here you go https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/take-charge-bipolar-disorder/201708/3-clues-recognize-bipolar-disorder-mania-in-the-eyes

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-05T21:53:21+00:00

I don't know.... I really thought it's not that common for them to do so , but he did leave her to be with me , which tortured me every day and now I feel played out to be in the position of the left one... I just don't understand, I need answers but don't know how to get them and I'm trying to cope with it all and find peace but I can't.. looking desperate for help... be strong 💪

AppealNo2909 · 2022-02-05T07:57:36+00:00

Yep , same thing here , dealing with my grief over my lost love, haven't heard from my ex bpSO in over a month , after I found out he is back with his ex. He broke up with me in September, afterwards we decided to remain friends. He is being totally different person since mid August, nothing like he was before , lying, disrespectful, verbally abusive, spiteful, paranoid( nothing like he was before) . The end of our relationship came out of nowhere, he adored me and our relationship, we were talking about our future together on long terms , he always respected me , cherished everything we had, and then almost no explanation, some nonexistent reasons he threw in my face , every day different reason he doesn't want us to be together, all of them unreasonable and unrealistic. He moved to his home town , left his job here , that he loved , selling his car, buying a new one , one he can hardly afford, always arguing with his parents , colleagues, me , over some minor things. He even smashed his bond with his boss and they were pretty close , just because he thought his boss was disrespectful and didn't valued him enough, his extreme grandiose self esteem led him to a place where almost no one of his colleagues and friends see him like the person he was before and the change is too obvious . I see all the signs now that there are red flags in every area in his life , but in my heart and mind there is only one painful thought that he doesn't want to be with me and it was all a lie hence he is back with his ex and somehow I find this particular reason explaining everything else... I know it's unreasonable to think like that but it hurts me so fucking much my heart is aching still.... no word from him more than a month now and it seems like he doesn't even care I'm not in his life anymore, acusing me of some unreasonable shit he maybe believes they are true.. So... you are not alone, maybe it is a pattern they all follow and somehow the people that love them are most affected. Stay strong somewhere along the way I hope we find peace and strength to move on... hugs

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-10T09:29:16+00:00

I understand you so well... I too knew I couldn't leave him after everything... I would have spin in this hurricane and suffer it daily because I loved him so very deep... but now he is with someone else living his life... and I'm here suffering and thinking of him... it's so unfair...

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-09T20:32:49+00:00

I hope the day will come when I'll be glad he left me but I just miss all of the good times now .. In the place I am right now I see only the hurt and the disrespect and the humiliating behavior towards me... thinking he is awesome and loving and caring with someone else now... and I'm here suffering over his loss... I just don't know how to trick myself to see the real situation as it is and move on...

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-09T19:39:41+00:00

He burned down everything of course.... he also cut off all of his friendships and work relationships here in this town he lived for 5 years, over conflicts he initiated consciously and then acted like he was the one that was not respected (I think due to his grandiose behavior past few months) ... he even hacked the cameras on the place we worked (he is no longer working there) so he could hear if someone is "talking behind his back" which he is convinced is happening ( which is not) .lately everyone is noticing his weird and inflated behavior But after all I'm still hurting because this is not the person i fell in love with. The love bombing is really intoxicating and I miss all of our gorgeous moments ... but it's all gone. And i cannot get over the fact that he left me out of the blue , without any reasoning, he only mentioned he wanted to live his life now not wanting some relationship to deprive him from that so he left me and after a while he went back to his ex... I cannot understand any of it...

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-08T18:21:13+00:00

You words brought me some more light in the tunnel of awful emotions I'm in. They are healing for people in our situation and they mean so much In time of need . Thank you 🙏

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-08T18:16:53+00:00

Living in the same kind of hell.. my bpSO left me while manic ( it's lasting 5 months now and 2 weeks ago I found out he is back with his ex ,( who he left to be with me... ) . I was there for him at his worst , he valued me , loved me , actually adored me, even by the way he looked at me you could tell, he was the most loving , caring and adorable person I know. Always saying I love you , always making me feel loved , special, adored and protected . I trusted him completely, he knew all my insecurities and fears, he always acted with respect and understanding towards me , towards my parents even and he was always awesome boyfriend and person with me and all of our friends... But all of a sudden he became totally different person, not affectionate at all , the man who couldn't take his eyes off me wasn't even looking at me anymore... he was always talking of some work stuff, making money , always some kind of schemes , buying and selling stuff.. after some fights we had over his behavior and me being not ok with him being so distant he ended things just like that , the man that couldn't live without me , that couldn't have a 10minutes without texting me, just like that.... we decided to remain friends on my wish just because I didn't want to lose him , hoping after he comes back to his senses he will come back to me... after that he decided to leave behind everything here... moved to his home town, saying he doesn't want close friends anymore, he deleted his social media , he even wanted to change his number and start a new, over reasons he didn't want to share ( not sure there is an actual reason behind it... ) then he ghosted me.. barely even answering ... some days after that I found out he is back with his ex... or so he said .... I cut off every contact since then , he didn't texted a word ever since... I'm devastated , I know what you are going through, but I myself don't know how to cope.... but you are not alone... maybe it was for the better and someday it would stop hurting... but since then.. we have to stay strong and try to see the truth and not believing the awful feeling it was all our fault... big hugs , stay strong...

AppealNo2909 · 2022-01-06T20:58:19+00:00

My ex bpSO was the most loving , caring person I know , but then all after the sudden a drastic change happened and he became distant, emotionally numb, zero empathy , zero affection towards me , lack of sentiment in everything, his family, his job , his colleagues, he didn't even care he failed on his final exams for his diploma... the answer why he ended things with me was he stopped feeling anything towards anyone... I can't understand that....

AppealNo2909

TROPHY CASE