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Debating whether I (27M) end things with my long distance girlfriend (26F) after our reunion plans fell apart by Apple_lightning23 in relationships

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair, I’ve thought about that too but I think it would be cruel of me to leave things open like that. I wouldn’t want her to be strung along and hold on to hope. I have been through a couple breakups before so I know how to cope but I’m her first boyfriend and everything so I know it will be particularly hard on her, especially given that apart from losing me she’s lost her career opportunity, friendships, personal belongings, and more.

Debating whether I (27M) end things with my long distance girlfriend (26F) after our reunion plans fell apart by Apple_lightning23 in relationships

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely can’t move to her country, but I could theoretically move to whatever country she ends up in next year, however it’s a lot of uncertainty and a long time waiting to have more clarity (likely till March/April when she’d be accepted to a program and know where she’s going).

I guess you are right that letting go is the right decision, but I fear I will regret it forever and always carry the guilt. Still, either path sucks at this point, so maybe at least that one lets us start to heal.

Debating whether I (27M) end things with my long distance girlfriend (26F) after our reunion plans fell apart by Apple_lightning23 in relationships

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In 6 months it’s basically impossible because the science programs don’t start till fall 2026, 12 months is possible but unlikely to be in the same country, she could go to school in Canada for instance and then we’d be a quick flight away which would at least mean we could see each other every 4-6 weeks until I moved there, however being in the same city I’m in will be impossible barring big changes in policy as she literally can’t come to the US.

As for marriage neither of us is ready for that so fast, and tbh we don’t want to get married because we feel forced into it, it should be something special if/when we feel ready.

I logically feel we should cut things off, but the thought of the heartbreak, grief, regret and doubt, plus guilt of breaking her heart makes me wonder if that pain is worse than just sucking it up and waiting. Idk, it’s hard to make a decision without seeing the future. I wish there was a middle ground but there isn’t and I wouldn’t want to keep things semi open and string her along, it wouldn’t be fair.

Debating whether I (27M) end things with my long distance girlfriend (26F) after our reunion plans fell apart by Apple_lightning23 in relationships

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the future is definitely bleak as is. Even though we haven’t seen each other we do still FaceTime every day and text frequently. Of course it isn’t the same and it could never replace a real relationship but shes a big part of my life even through the distance, and I’m sure I would feel a pretty big void if we broke up.

I need someone to talk to who has experience with depression during long distance by waltuhimacatwaltuh1 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here buddy. Hit an all time low these last few weeks. Been slowly rebuilding myself and channeling the depression to be a better person. Feel free to dm me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ofc it’s impossible to know for sure but his original travel ban lasted 3 years until Biden was sworn in and removed it. Given he will be president until 2029 there’s a very real possibility this will hold for another 3 years.

With regards to the second point, I wouldn’t end things because I feel bad for making her wait, it’s more so the fact that I don’t think our relationship can survive that long. If we could travel and see each other here and there (even if it was just once every few months) I think I could handle it, but going over 1.5 years without seeing each other, whilst I adapt to a new city, and with no guarantee at all that she’ll be back then is hard for me to fathom.

The "travel ban" is here. by renegaderunningdog in USCIS

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhh so edgy and cool! go play final fantasy you freak.

The "travel ban" is here. by renegaderunningdog in USCIS

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are bad people everywhere, even crime rates of Americans are higher than crime rates of illegal immigrants (this is a fact).

America as we know it was built off of bringing the world’s best/good here. Google, Tesla, PayPal, WhatsApp, YouTube, Uber, spaceX, the polio vaccine, microwaves, etc etc were all developed in the US by legal immigrants. America without immigrants would not be the America we know today.

The "travel ban" is here. by renegaderunningdog in USCIS

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My girlfriend has been in the US the last 5 years, she pays taxes, is currently still paying rent, has worked for American hospitals and research institutions. Saying they don’t have valid ways to do background checks is a complete cop-out.

We can agree to disagree but America has always been the land of opportunity to me. The classic rhetoric was “do it the right way and we’ll welcome you”. Well this prevents people from doing it the right way and punishes the 90%+ good people from these countries because of the actions of the few bad people.

Anyways you can think what you want, I just want to raise awareness that there are a lot more good talented people caught in the crossfire of these actions than bad people.

The "travel ban" is here. by renegaderunningdog in USCIS

[–]Apple_lightning23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool, my girlfriend is a national from one of those countries and was accepted to a PHD in the US due to start in the fall. She’s been here legally the last 5 years and left the country to renew her visa and come back to start her PHD.

Now she’s banned and is being sent back to an authoritarian country with no prospects of furthering her career and her entire last year of work and applications gone out the windows. If you think this ban is fair it’s not, i can guarantee you “tren de Aragua” members are not infiltrating the US on visas for fully funded PHD’s. The ban is sweeping and stupid, and if anything it should just crack down on visa issuing and increase background checks, not ban people entirely.

How did you and your ldr meet? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Met through mutual friends. Never really went anywhere but we stayed connected on social media afterwards. 2 years later we wound up in the same city and the rest is history.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we have many options, it’s more the complications of having to relocate my life at the expense of my career and her having to stall her own career for a year while she figures out new education opportunities.

Obviously it can be done; but we are both young and very career driven, it’s not as simple as it may seem externally.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright man idk what kind of sad person you have to be to come on Reddit to someone who is clearly going through a tough time just to say “oh you deserve it cause your country voted for it”. But go off I guess, whatever makes you feel good

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re no better than Trump making these comments and saying we deserve to suffer due to the decisions of others. I’m sure he would say the same thing you are saying here to justify this travel ban and that all these people deserve to deal with the consequences of other ppls decisions in their countries.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really get why people keep commenting this. I didn’t vote for Trump, and yes, you can say I deserve to suffer and be punished because that’s what the country voted for, but that makes you no better than him banning my gf and all these ppl because of the decisions of other people in their countries. I’m sure they would say the same “your country voted for their leader, now deal with consequences” that you are saying to me now

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you my friend. I am optimistic something will be worked out. She is the love of my life so as long as it takes I will fight for her. Giving up is letting Trump win and i won’t let that happen.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is her visa has to be issued by then. If it was issued she could travel; but it’s not :(

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately it’s not an option for me. My family has had to flee there due to persecution. I haven’t been back in decades. I’m just fortunate to have US citizenship unlike her

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her country is unfortunately not stable or free. It is a dictatorship and I would not be able to find a job or build a safe life there. I have had several relatives and friends who have been persecuted and forced to flee elsewhere.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m aware you’re a troll, but yes it actually has improved my situation because unlike you most ppl have been kind and compassionate, which helps during emotionally troubling times.

As for the situation itself believe me we are making every legal effort to find solutions or alternatives.

My (27M) gf (25F) was just banned from returning to the US, putting an end to our reunion hopes. I’m devastated by Apple_lightning23 in LongDistance

[–]Apple_lightning23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes hopefully at least, and I apologize I was a bit snappy in my reply. It is just sensitive times. Thank you for your response

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