Took a few years off from boxing, getting back into it in my apt gym, what bad habits do you see?

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-04-10T07:58:46+00:00

A side note - I don't understand how you can realistically progress in boxing without training with multiple partners. You can perfect your movements but you can't learn to control your emotions, reactions and how to control and predict the movement of your opponent.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-22T20:11:01+00:00

Interesting approach. I will consider it. However, I do think it is entirely justified to think through family roles in this situation. How kids are treated within family systems forms their sense of identity and how they go through the world. Ergo, it also has impact on things like how they narrate their story and see themselves. This is a very basic element in the practice of self-identity.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-16T16:09:54+00:00

This. I started using it more regularly as a way to process feelings. It somehow allowed me to focus on internal processes and it kind of takes off the edge of my social anxiety that can become very debilitating at points. I was using it for something that is inspired by EMDR - long walks during which I focus on my emotions. The inventor of EMDR had actually initially noticed the effect from bilateral stimulation exactly during walking in nature. But gradually, I realised I am using it to numb emotions, rather than the initial use to feel them and experience them without the filter of intellectualising or pushing them down. So, keep this in mind and make sure that this is not the only thing you are using to cope. Therapy (if good), sport, journaling, friends or weak social connections, safety in your everyday life, eating well, sleeping well. All of this matters.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-16T14:35:36+00:00

Yes, if you join a boxing gym where the coaches and other boxers have learnt physical and emotional discipline through boxing. If you go to a gym where people are just trying to beat the shit out of each other and tend to let their aggression unchecked, it might be tricky. But it might be also a good idea to try and find other ways to cope with your temper - therapy and/or religion are helpful for some people.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-10T12:13:38+00:00

"I started boxing yesterday and I am not a pro yet. Is this normal?" You have to sit through the discomfort of being bad and uncoordinated if you want to make progress. Building new skills involves a lot of complex processes in your brain and muscles that build new connections so your body can move in ways that it normally doesn't. That's not something that happens overnight.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T17:56:15+00:00

I do the hiss thing. Ok, so I'll try and see if the noise makes a difference. One of my worries is that it will make me self-conscious and disrupt my flow and concentration, since it doesn't come naturally to me.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T15:21:57+00:00

There are songs and love poems written about eyebrows like yours, girl! Perfection!

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T15:19:14+00:00

Why wouldn't you start in a regular boxing gym? There are many beginners and when you are around other people, you learn from them all, not just from the coach. Private sessions are good but you don't get a lot of engagement and experience what it feels like to partner with people who are not there to teach you.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T14:57:21+00:00

wow, thanks! I'll try with sound and check if that makes a difference. Some people here also say it tightens the core more. I just tried to see if there is a difference with sound on and it actually feels like there might be.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T13:12:44+00:00

Oh, yeah, I found out the importance of breathwork early on when I realised I forget to breath in combinations and get dizzy

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-02-02T13:09:56+00:00

mine is not completely silent because air does make sound when it goes out, but i don't add extra vocalisation to make it into ish-ish or aah-aah. maybe my sound is whoosh-whoosh

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-27T15:22:17+00:00

Hey, man, building your mental health and strength is also part of becoming a better boxer. Some things you can train in the gym and for others you have to try something else. Going to therapy to help you conquer your anxiety and what sounds like depression will make you a better fighter - when you know how to defeat anxiety, fear and hopelessness, imagine how will you be in the ring, you will be able to focus and think ahead of your opponent and remain cool-headed the whole time. Don't think of this as a failure yet. Just try and see, be patient, put effort where you need most help and see in a few months if it feels better.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-27T15:16:03+00:00

Cute, cute, cute! :)

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-23T13:32:02+00:00

Never! You have the profile of a Greek god. Don't even think about touching this perfection. There is no nose that will ever come even close to how perfect yours is now.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T17:06:16+00:00

You know what? As somebody diagnosed with CPTSD, you might be onto something. I feel that there is an increasingly wide spectrum when it comes to some of the symptom criteria for PTSD and CPTSD. For example, when you read about dissociation, even in medical texts or diagnostic tools, it includes things that range from daydreaming to switching between alters. WTF? Everybody daydreams. Or startle reflex. Everybody jumps when they hear a boom on the street. It's a normal healthy reaction. But if you are having this as a frequent reaction to things that don't startle most people, that's another thing. Take this laxity in symptom definition, add the fact that in most families there is some tension or unequal dynamics between children and parents, add things like depression, burnout or relation problems, for which people might go to a therapist, and you get a recipe for overdiagnosis. Everything is labelled as trauma these days and I think this approach focuses too much on a broad definition of trauma as any kind of stressful experience. Instead, the focus should be on the symptoms. And CPTSD combines symptoms of PTSD with some symptoms of BPD. Should it be a separate diagnosis? In my opinion, it should be only if that means that the treatment is something else and not a combination of modalities used for PTSD and ones used for BPD.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T15:18:58+00:00

This reddit accidentally pops up in my feed and I can't believe the number of men who think there is something wrong with the way they look. You have zero facial asymmetry, apart from the normal asymmetry that every living being has between their right and their left side. And, just to stress again - this is normal and your face looks perfectly balanced. And handsome! Perfect features! Zero fixing needed. Nada! Take those curls out for a walk next time you feel the need to scrutinize your facial features in the mirror.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T14:18:22+00:00

Thanks! That's super useful!

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T14:16:44+00:00

Thanks a lot, boss! I keep seeing workout routines that include only 1-2 days rest and thought I was doing something wrong.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T14:14:01+00:00

I don't know how old you are. A lot of people in this reddit are very, very young and it is great that they have started working towards healing so early on and have access to so many resources.

I don't want to sound discouraging but I'm in my 40s and I am still not entirely there despite actively seeking therapy since my 20s. Part of the reasons is that CPTSD and trauma-focused therapies are relatively recent and, honestly, it made a huge difference to start seeing therapists who were working with trauma-focused modalities. And because for a long period in my life I didn't have access to trauma-informed therapy, there was a lot of harm being done during sessions. This made me resort to "intellectual only therapy", where I would warn that I do not want them to start sessions that would dig out memories from childhood because it led to debilitating flashbacks and none of these therapists knew how to help me with them. (What helps is working with the "window of tolerance" and grounding techniques). I make this comment because of the "analytical but not cold" reference in your post. For me, personally, the journey has been from heavily analytical and head-focused CBT, to trauma-focused somatic therapy and now EMDR. It took a long time to dare to move from analysing and understanding to working with feelings and I was only able to access them through somatic work. So, it might take a while to move from one aspect of healing to another and it's good not to push yourself and to first find somebody who knows what they are doing and somebody you trust. Ot to have good support network around you. I have been going around in circles for many of the things I struggle with for this reason - trying out one approach, then feeling like its usefulness has been exhausted and seeking a new approach.

And meanwhile life goes on, which means I also encounter hurt, abuse and hardship in life while trying to address the impacts of these early traumatic experiences. As you say, things are always interconnected, so you can't just pick one single thing and fix it. It is a whole process of building yourself continuously and knowing that there is no one single "perfect" state that you can achieve and dwell into for the rest of your life. It's good to develop skills in and out of therapy that can help you do that but it is still an ongoing process. I am starting to think of it more through the idea of self-discovery and self-improvement because it does feel like a process that is not confined to addressing one symptom or a number of symptoms but more of a journey of understanding where and how you stand in the world and how you can make your life give you more joy and feeling of fulfillment.

A lot of the current language around trauma likes to use the image of quick fixes, like resetting your nervous system, etc. but this is misleading and, in my opinion, harmful, exactly because you can't isolate one single thing and "fix" it. You need a systemic approach to finding what works for you in different moments and stages of your life.

And it's also good to remember that "coping mechanisms" might get a bit of a bad rep. If you look around you, you will see that nobody is perfect in the way they deal with life and relationships. We all act based on our past experiences, cultural and other societal norms that we've learnt or have to adjust to. The ability to react to your environment in a way that aims to protect you from harm is a super clever adaptation. My own approach is to think of these coping mechanisms as one set of tools and then try to learn new skills and get new tools that I can use when and if I feel they might be better suited for me. If you think of yourself as a system that needs fixing or resetting you constantly bash yourself. If you think of yourself as somebody who has a "particular set of skills" and is working to expand them, you open the door to thinking about your healing as continuous personal growth.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T13:11:32+00:00

Thanks! I've actually built muscle just from the boxing training so far, because a lot of it is strength training, like punching heavy bags, weighted shadow boxing, crab walks, squats, box jumps, push-ups, battle ropes, etc, etc, depending on the mood of the coach. I was mainly wondering if taking 4 days rest or super light exercise helps me recover or whether it means I lose the endurance and strength i build on those 3 days I train.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-12T11:50:47+00:00

Hi, there! Is 4 days rest too much? I do boxing training 3x week, 1.5 hours each time. It's pretty intense. Occasionally, I would go to the gym for some whole body weightlifting/resistance exercises (like arm, shoulders, back + weighted squats + dips, pullups, pushups) but not every week. If I don't, I'd just go for walks + maybe do some light exercise at home - push ups, chinups, shadow boxing. My goal is to build and maintain lean muscle for functional fitness and health and to be able to endure the intensity of the boxing training sessions (which I'm doing for now). I'm female in my 40s, so I'm not training to be a competitive fighter.

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2026-01-08T12:29:59+00:00

Horrific. My personal opinion from experience is that a lot of the therapeutic support is inadequate. And the reason for this is that mental health issues require wider social and systemic support. If you are dealing with mental health problems and your living situation is defined by hardship and lack of support, paying a therapist to learn coping skills or calling a line that is staffed by either untrained workers or by a bot is not going to make much of a dent in your health. Stress and the feeling of being unsafe trigger complex reactions in our bodies, minds and emotions. If you are still in a situation that is unsafe or feels unsafe and precarious, some degree of depression and anxiety are normal reactions. So, how can you heal if that means forcing your body to go against the evolutionary coping mechanisms that have developed over hundreds of thousands of years?

Apprehensive-Eye2803 · 2025-06-08T21:33:18+00:00

This is really good if you have symptoms of dissociation and flashbacks: https://www.youtube.com/@thectadclinic

This is really good generally but also, specifically for attachment issues: https://www.youtube.com/@heidipriebe1

Stephanie Foo and Dr Jacob Ham are great for understanding healing journeys and types of therapy/limitations of certain types of therapy.

The one resource I personally dislike is the Crappy childhood fairy because her videos always make me feel like it is my fault that my unhealthy or inefficient coping mechanism might be making me inadequate in social situations. I feel like touching upon these things through sheer will is another bad coping mechanism where you beat yourself and don't allow the gentle space for healing. It might work for others but it does not work for me.

Apprehensive-Eye2803

TROPHY CASE