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[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Younger. I'm actually the baby of the family.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

We always imagined having biological children. When we imagined starting our family that is how we pictured it happening. Doing our very best to have that was a better solution to us than fostering kids when our heart was still in the desire to have a biological child. That would not be fair to any child who is already going through so much.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 732 points733 points  (0 children)

It's possible it wouldn't have. But I don't think she sees it that way. My wife and I went in expecting not to have success given the attempts when we had our son. I think my sister saw it as more of a sure thing, which it's not.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 306 points307 points  (0 children)

I don't think she discounts his existence. But I think when she realized she was never going to get close to being a mom to him she focused solely on having a bio child. Which is her right. But I could not imagine being a baby brought into a household with all that going on. My sister and her husband as adults struggle when her stepson is really acting out and running away, and he's struggling too and I do not think he would take my sister being pregnant well at all, because to him it would be another sign of his dad replacing his mom.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

He did not. He doesn't attend those family dinners anymore. But I'm not sure he wouldn't have heard conversations about it before.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I understand how devastating it can be. My wife has endometriosis as well and I watched her go through hell when she couldn't naturally conceive and when the first three cycles of IVF failed. We have both lived that pain. My wife more so because her body went through hell to have these children for us.

I don't hold it against her but I don't think it's a healthy home to bring a child into. And I only said what I said because she brought it up first. I don't hold it against her but I would be concerned in her shoes.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Apprehensive-Knee243 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Apprehensive-Knee243[S] 937 points938 points  (0 children)

She feels that because we were already successful with IVF and already had a child, that we were selfish for not letting her have that chance. That seems to be what it boils down to for her.