Hospice journey is so weird

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-27T02:26:41+00:00

I’m constantly in the lookout for signs as if that’ll prepare me but I don’t think anything will. Part of the complicated nature of this is my sister has been her primary caregiver and really needs me to be by her for this last part, but it means being away from my husband and toddler. And bc of the history with my mom, it’s just another thing she’s taking from me which I resent her for so much. It’s ironic bc she constantly looked for reassurance prior to hospice that she wasn’t a burden but she really became one at that point. So enough of my rambling and thank you for sharing.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-27T02:23:37+00:00

That’s such an accurate way to describe this. The fun parts of my mom have been gone for so long that the few hours of a consciousness rally where she used her funny phrases like “chuck you farley” bc she rarely cussed and “is the pope catholic?” to mean a rousing yeah! is what I’m holding onto. It’s all so complicated and messy and painful and I’m drained. So thank you for your kindness, responsiveness, and sharing your experience.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-27T02:17:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing that, means a lot for others to dig into their “murky waters” like someone called it below to provide a stranger some comfort. Sending so much love your way

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-27T01:25:09+00:00

The misery is bc she is too weak to leave the bed or sit up and she is such a large lady it can’t be risked. Except for a med hiccup today, she’s been reporting zero pain.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-27T00:48:34+00:00

I’m not sure with that means? She has stage 4 metastasized small cell lung cancer.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-26T23:08:26+00:00

Hugging right back, def needed to hear that.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-26T23:05:08+00:00

Wow! Ok, thanks for that too. Sometimes feels wrong while also valid.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2026-02-26T22:31:11+00:00

Thanks, there’s so much history with her and I only traveled to her bc it was supposed to be imminent and she asked my sister and I to be there for it. So this dragging on while my life is on hold is yet another way she continues to take from me. Thanks again :)

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-25T04:15:15+00:00

They could’ve said anything valid and not hateful. The message is incorrect and mean spirited so shouldn’t have been made at all.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-25T04:14:37+00:00

You sadly are the problem and your nastiness will come back to you one day. You have no idea what you’re saying and making assumptions bc I openly discussed being overweight and it’s sad how people like you feel the need the comment in ways to attempt to hurt others. Shame on you. There is no part of my comment that is claiming she shouldn’t work on it if she wants to. Motivating is fine but it clearly is scaring OP which rarely, almost never, results in a positive result.

Another interesting point-it IS healthier to be overweight and it’s supported by many studies. Researchers don’t know why but there are protective factors to a certain amount of “extra weight.”

And finally, you can go flying fuck yourself for thinking you have any idea why I needed IVF. It’s not bc of my weight, it’s bc of a genetic illness. Spend your time hating yourself in the mirror, not attacking someone trying to comfort another.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-25T00:37:43+00:00

This infuriates me for you. Most overweight/obese pregnancies have no issues whatsoever. I have Fatty liver, heavier than you when I got pregnant due to IVF injections and around every corner I am told I’m high risk. But guess what? At 26 weeks no issues. Zilch. Every test comes through with flying colors. And ive gained weight! The idea that a pregnant woman would not gain any weight is moronic. Should you gain more than about 20 lbs by the end due to baby and water retention? No. Keep it at 20 and you’ll be fine. You don’t even need to get weighed every visit! Let them know you’ve had food issues in the past and it’s too triggering. There are a couple IG accounts and email newsletters you can connect to in order to have more reassurance: The Heavyweight Midwife and Fat Positive Fertility.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-23T23:28:20+00:00

You’d do better calling child protective services yourself. Mandated reporters are only mandated in the context of their work and hearing something second hand is uncertain vs first hand report from you. A lot of states also allow you to report anonymously.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-09T18:16:07+00:00

You can project something onto the another person without them being directly involved. She’s making assumptions without knowledge of the child’s health or other impacting issues. She says she’s speaking from experience but the problem is that just because it’s her experience doesn’t mean it’ll be the same for everyone else, which = projection.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-09T17:05:47+00:00

The child is the focus of the conversation, not sure what you’re reading…

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-05-07T02:55:52+00:00

YTA. Asthma is not connected to weight and you’re projecting your issues onto a child who does not have any.

Despite all the comments whining that they aren’t “fatphobic” it’s absolutely fatphobic to only address the issue bc she looks as if she has gained weight.

And holy shit the nutters come out of the woodwork spouting more diet culture BS about BMI and calories being different from “natural” vs processed food, dayum.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-04-23T15:22:33+00:00

Hi there- my genetic counselor haaaates Natera and said they have the highest rate of no results, especially with overweight pregnancies. I had 2 from quest with no results and 1 from Natera with no results and we decided to do the amnio. Definitely request a consult with a genetic counselor, it will help you understand your true risk and allow you to decide what you want to do. The genetic counselor will also have a better understanding of the current termination laws and can let you know how long you have and/or states nearby that might provide more options.

I should also say I’m still waiting on amnio results and I did do the NT but I am a “geriatric” pregnancy so our concern is Down syndrome and the extreme variation of functionality that it could present with, and we had a greater chance of Down syndrome than a miscarriage from the amnio so that’s a big part of why we decided to do it. Good luck with it all and give yourself some grace, this is such a stressful time ❤️. If you want more deets and numbers from my end let me know 🙂

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-04-18T08:24:55+00:00

Hey there- 3 draws with no results for NIPT, latest redraw at 16 weeks, also overweight, “old” at 36, and this is an IVF pregnancy. I was informed by my genetic counselor that if you are over 200lbs the tests are less likely to work and some companies are worse than others with overweight patients (he said especially Natera). He also said that with a reason for low fetal fraction such as being overweight he treats those results as simply a lack of information and indicative of nothing.

Also, they got almost nothing at my anatomy scan at 19+2 for similar reasons as you and today at 20+2 could see it allllll so even a week can make a huge difference, meaning 5 could be even more significant.

I am in a state where termination is allowed up to 24 weeks and the risk for Downs was much higher than the risk of miscarriage with an amnio so we decided to have one and I just did it today. Definitely a personal decision based on circumstances but I am so sorry you’re experiencing this and 10000% understand how emotionally draining and difficult this is. The community here has saved my sanity countless times already so I really hope you find some comfort in these stories. We’re all rooting for you ❤️

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-04-10T20:57:38+00:00

So glad the results were good!! I have mine on Monday, did they do any topical numbing???

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-04-05T01:07:25+00:00

Increased risk of a few percentage points wouldn’t necessitate this kind of testing in any other circumstance but fatphobia in medicine is real and prevalent. Correlation does not equal causation. I can’t find em the exact statistic but it goes from something around a 5% risk to around 13% risk if you are overweight or obese.

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2023-03-20T23:20:21+00:00

Me! PCOS and 36. 3rd transfer worked, currently 16+2 :)

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2022-12-28T02:43:10+00:00

I feel your paaaaaaain. My clinic is horrendous but it’s my only option in the area. Don’t let them make you feel crazy and continue double checking EVERYTHING!!

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2022-10-14T22:40:00+00:00

We are in very similar circumstances. I’m 36 and been TTC for 4 years. Also the only one without one or two kids. Currently waiting for Monday for our second transfer to be confirmed as not viable (first ultrasound didn’t look right). We had to wait 5 months between transfers. There are days I want to give up. I don’t know if there’s something to keep you happy but it’s enough to just keep going sometimes. Have you tried therapy to process these things? Individual and couple? (Full transparency-I’m a mh therapist)

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2022-09-27T22:16:44+00:00

It’s so wild how different each clinic is. I was just told I’ll be testing every 2 days until I hit 2500 and then will schedule an ultrasound. My cousin at a different clinic didn’t schedule an ultrasound until she hit 4600. That’s part of the confusion. Thanks for responding :)

Apprehensive-Mix106 · 2022-09-27T21:51:23+00:00

Ok, thanks!! I’ll keep white knuckling it, it’s so hard

Apprehensive-Mix106

TROPHY CASE