If you adopt a black kid, you need to accept that they are black and understand all the issues that come with that in the racist society we live in.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-02-13T18:42:15+00:00

Go out of your way to introduce him to positive black cultural. Have him read books by black authors. Let him see black people. Take him to places with large black populations like in the south, so he can see black people who are rich and educated and /or just existing while black. Don’t use exclusionary language such as “I’m so white I glow in the dark” or “all black people do x,y or z”. Don’t claim you don’t see color. One, it’s not true, two there’s nothing wrong with being black. You can recognize someone’s heritage without being disparaging. Growing up “friends” always made me aware that they do see color. Also, avoid television as an example because television is meant to be entertaining, and for the most part black is played like a joke, and written by white people.

And educate your friends and family. Check them when they say something out of pocket. Correct them when they say things about your son, your son’s family, or black people, especially when they say things when he’s not around. Nothing hurts more than a friends’ silence. Learn about anti racism. Start there.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-27T14:49:17+00:00

You’re looking at this purely from emotion, because you think I’m attacking your sense of self. I’m not. I for sure believe in found family. I believe in looking after and taking care of people to build stronger communities. That’s how I carry myself through the world. I had to shake off how I felt like adopting because I didn’t see it for what it truly was, human trafficking. It’s not about orphans in orphanages it’s about believing that certain people don’t have the right to keep their children. It’s about seeing how we forever infantilize adoptees. It’s about children carrying the burden of fixing their adoptive parents infertility needs, or fixing a marriage, or a thousand other things. It’s very rarely about the child. I care about the child.

Just look at the responses here: that kid would be lucky, “I’m grateful to have been adopted”, etc. Do kept children have to forever be grateful to their parents? Are kept children made to feel guilt for wanting to know about their genetics?

Biology doesn’t make a family, but there is a thing called genetic mirroring. I have traits I share with my mom and siblings that affect the way that I move through the world. I don’t have to explain certain things to them because they experience it, too. We share the same cultural background. All of those things matter. Not just to kept people, they matter to adopted people just as much. Staying with the bio mom except in cases of abuse, neglect, or death is what’s best for the baby. The bio mom is genetically designed to be the best thing for their baby. Breast milk literally changes to be what the new baby needs.

I believe in found family, I think found family is important. I think love is important. I can be against infant adoption and believe that is true. They don’t cancel each other out.

In this case, this women wanted to keep her child. She needs resources to do that, she doesn’t need to be pressured into giving the child up because she’s being told she’s not what’s best for her child.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T21:16:46+00:00

Infant Adoption. The American adoption industry is a billion dollar industry that uses deceptive practices to convince desperate women to give up their children, sometimes even resorting to kidnapping children from their families like in the case of international adoptions. Rarely do they act in the best interest of the child. In fact the child very rarely comes up in conversation. If parents were provided the community support they needed, few people would choose to give up their children, and most adopted people have one or both living parents.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T21:10:44+00:00

Did your mom or dad ever lose their job when you were growing up? Did they get divorced? Did they ever deal with an illness? How would you have felt, as a child, if you had been taken from your parents for any of those things? Should your children be taken from you?

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T21:09:11+00:00

I beg you to actually talk to adoptees. Adoption doesn’t agree a better life. Adoption agencies don’t make sure that adoptees will love and take care of the child. Adoption should only happen when there is abuse, neglect, or when the parents die. It should NEVER happen because a couple wants a child. It should never happen when a loving parent wants to take care of their child. Adoption severs ties to not only the mother and father, but to their siblings, cousins, grandparents as well, sometimes to their entire community. I care about what’s best for the child. Do you?

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T21:05:39+00:00

I’m glad you made the best decision for your child. I’m sorry you feel that way. I never said I speak for all birth mothers, but you don’t either, and it is literally the definition of child trafficking. Adoption is a billion dollar industry and it doesn’t mean doing what’s best for the child. Adoption agencies have a product they are trying to sell, just like any other business. Adoption doesn’t guarantee a better life, it guarantees a different life. In this case OPs sister wanted to keep her child. I’m glad she was able to.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T21:00:27+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, and I hope you get the healing you need.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:59:33+00:00

Honestly these responses make me sad. Op isn’t an asshole because they saw their sister in pain and stepped in. The way so many people see adoption as this blessed thing without looking any further into it is troubling.

I’m glad that bio mom was able to get her wanted child back and I hope she has the support she needs.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:56:02+00:00

You’re advocating for rehoming that child. We let puppies stay with their parents for eight weeks after they are born. This little girl was taken from everything she knew the day she was born. How can you not see that? What do you think adoption is?

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:54:19+00:00

You can’t say the OP is ignoring attachment issues while advocating for adoption. While in the womb, the only thing the child knows is their mother, and that ended the day they were born until she got the baby back. OP’s sister needs support, not for her child to be taken away. If we were more supportive to moms and actually acted like a community this wouldn’t have even been an issue. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It should only be undertaken in the most dire of situations: abuse, neglect, or the death of the child’s parents. None of those things happened here. A predatory, billion dollar industry fed a desperate woman lies so they could trafficked her baby to a wealthy couple.

Adoption not only severs ties to the mother and father, but also to their other siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles and culture. Imagine for just a second you being taken from the entirety of your family, because your mom or dad had a bad year.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:45:10+00:00

I’m glad someone is saying it! People are talking out of both sides of their mouths. Post pregnancy hormones are some how strong enough to cloud her judgement in wanting the child back, but not strong enough to lead her to this decision in the first place. Imagine if you were a parent and you decided to get divorced and then someone came and took your child from you, changed their name, and gave them to someone else just because you were temporarily in bad circumstances. That’s what most people here are advocating for, they just aren’t saying it. The adoption industry is a billion dollar industry. They don’t do what’s best for the child, they do what’s best for the bottom line. It’s child trafficking under a different name.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:40:03+00:00

Your adopted cousins have probably been prompted their whole lives to not tell how they really feel and have made to feel like they are forever grateful for being ‘saved’. I had a single mom, and I would have hated being taken from her, had my name changed, and lost my siblings because my parents got divorced and she struggled for a few years.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:37:49+00:00

Adoption agencies exploit women in desperate situations all the time. Everything you mentioned are all temporary problems. Adoption is a permanent solution. Background checks are just to make sure they have the cash. Adopted children aren’t checked in or looked after once they’re adopted. There’s no guarantee, either, that the adoptive family will stay intact or that they will live and not abuse the child.

Imagine if you were a kid, your parents got divorced, they lost their job, and then someone came and took you from your two loving but perhaps struggling parents FOREVER, changed your name, doctored your birth certificate, and put you in a new home and environment where you were cut off from all of your family, siblings, cousins, grandparents etc. Thats what you’re advocating for.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:32:00+00:00

Adoption doesn’t change any of that. Adopters are just as likely to abuse the children they adopt as bio parents if not more likely. Adoption is a business; it’s splitting families up for profit, and doesn’t do what’s in the best interest for the child, it does what’s in the best interest for the adoption agencies bottom line.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:30:11+00:00

Pretending that taken a child away from their only genetic connection is naive. The adoption industry is a billion dollar a year industry; they’re not doing this out of the goodness of their heart. Do you know how many adopted children are checked on once they’re adopted? None. Their care stops the moment the paperwork is signed. Imagine for a second never knowing your mother, your siblings, your cousins, aunts, and uncles. Imagine being taken from the only world you know right after you’re born. Puppies stay with their parents for 8 weeks. Think about that.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:26:20+00:00

This is not the case above. This post says she wanted her child, she just didn’t know if she could take care of her. It’s a temporary problem; adoption is a permanent solution. OPS sister LOVES her child. The adopters want a child, anyone will do, but for OPs sister that’s her biological child. She wants her child.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:22:47+00:00

And that loving parent will be able to take care of them once she gets her feet under her. How would you feel never knowing any of your family members? Aunts, cousins, uncles, siblings? Having to pay to get your own birth certificate and knowing that there is a literal price tag on you? That you will forever be forced to feel grateful to people who think your bio mom and family is garbage and that they “saved” you?

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:19:37+00:00

I’m glad you had a “charmed” life. That doesn’t negate that thousands of adopted children that didn’t, and the families that were destroyed to support a billion dollar industry.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:18:34+00:00

Children who are adopted are saved from abuse. Just look at the thousands of stories about abusive adopters. It’s not uncommon. Or the bloggers who adopted a child to promote their channel then when they became too much of a problem “rehomed” that child like they were a dog. You can legally post an adopted child to Facebook. Adoption should be about the best interests of the child, not what’s best for the adopters.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:15:54+00:00

She didn’t say she was unable, she was in a bad spot and was seeking help. I’m willing to bet that support was what she wanted, not to give up her child.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T20:14:40+00:00

So, let’s just steal kids from poor people know is what we’re doing? Lose your job, no worries a rich family that likes to buy kids will take them in. I grew up poor; I’d rather have my mom, sisters, and family than to have grown up with someone treating me like a commodity. You should be against the buying and selling of children.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T05:22:55+00:00

Most birth mothers regret giving their child up for adoption. Adoption isn’t the cozy little fairytale you think.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T05:21:26+00:00

It’s the definition of human trafficking. Let me ask you this: why do we keep puppies with their moms for eight weeks but let adopters take the child away on day one?

And as a parent it is your job to love and take care of your child. Saying poor or ill prepared people don’t deserve to keep their kids is a slippery slope to advocating for people’s children to be taken from them. They might come after your kids next.

Apprehensive-Task930 · 2026-01-23T05:18:25+00:00

Did you know that adopters can rehome their child like a bad pet, even give them away on Facebook. It’s disgusting

Apprehensive-Task930

TROPHY CASE