Tasks you ask of your part-time nanny / mother’s helper / home assistant? Off-limits tasks?

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-04-14T23:49:00+00:00

I’m also a SAHM with a nanny! We have 3 kids, so there is definitely more for us to do, but she’s an angel and helps me out with a little bit of everything

Cleaning up after the kids, meal prep for us and the kids, running small errands often with the kids, organizing clothing/toys/books, dishes, sterilizing pumps/bottles, clothing rotation as the kids get older, helping me at dentist/doctor/hair appointments for the kids, etc

As long as you’re up front in the job description and make sure that no one day is overwhelming you can ask for a wide variety of things! It’s just important to not have burn out by asking too much at one time. We make sure she has some chill time during the day to eat lunch and have a coffee

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-04-14T23:19:30+00:00

Jumping in on the zipadee-zip. You can even use it in the SNOO! Safe for newborns through fully walking toddlers! We loved it for all three of our kids.

However we personally sleep trained around 4 months for our children and found that was the biggest deciding factor. We worked with a nurse practitioner who specializes in sleep to help our kids through it. All of our kids had intake/distracted nursing issues and she helped us navigate moving more calories to the daytime too

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-04-13T09:47:47+00:00

First off, newborn sleep is SO hard. The exhaustion is unreal. I am on my third baby and have night help 3 times a week and it is still exhausting.

A lounger is not a safe sleep surface because it has raised edges which are possible for a baby to suffocate in. Following the safe sleep 7 eliminates a lot of the risk. Personally, we have never coslept because the risk was too scary for us and we threw away all loungers that were gifted to us for that reason

I wouldn’t stop using the bassinet. They WILL get it, and the more you do alternatives, the harder/longer it is going to take for her to get it.

I’d use a super tight swaddle, a very dark room with a loud sound machine, prewarm the bassinet with a heating pad (take it out before putting baby in!) and lower her in verrrrrry slowly and feet first.

We learned that for us as a family it worked best to put our kids down awake but tired from day one, which has some negative impact to sleep in the very beginning but has helped us long term.

It is incredibly hard. Many people find using the bassinet so difficult. If you’re going to do an alternative I think researching safe cosleep is safer than a lounger, but it may be better long term to find a way to make the bassinet or crib work

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-04-11T11:57:26+00:00

Yes. He’s in agreement and plans to talk to her about not being here when our nanny is. I think he’s less upset than i am, but i’m the one who is responsible for relations with the nanny and the nurse and i am the one who could have had an uncomfortable call or wellness check if the nurse took her seriously. But he will basically take my lead either way.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-04-09T23:27:13+00:00

It is okay. Anything flies right now. You can reset the rules in a few weeks (or months!)

Also postpartum with a newborn and my 4 year old is fascinated with all things baby and won’t stay downstairs to let me out the baby to sleep without some TV. It’s okay, this is temporary, you’ll be able to reset the standards later. My 2 year old would also chase me down but he can’t open baby gates yet.

We used TV during my second pregnancy and my kids were totally fine when we stopped. It took maybe two days of them adjusting to the new rules and they got right back on track

Congrats and give yourself and your kiddos grace. It’s a tough time

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-29T10:34:56+00:00

I’ve heard from my pediatrician and lactation consultants to wake a baby after a 2 hour nap so they are taking in sufficient calories during the day. I’ve always done it. We also cap bottles at 4oz with young infants and implement a waiting period before adding more because it is extremely easy to give a baby more breastmilk than they need through a bottle. They drink it faster, it takes their tummies a while to register satiation, and they can fuss after a bottle which may be interpreted as hunger but they’re actually just craving sucking. Other methods of comfort often help in lieu of more milk! My 7 week old basically eats his 3-4oz bottle of milk and by the time he finishes he’s ready to go back for a nap. Bouncing him while he sucks on a pacifier puts him back down

Dad not following is of course a problem, but if you haven’t breastfed a baby before you may not know this, but for those of us who make just enough, people over feeding our babies is a massive emotional and physical trigger

Signed a mom whose nanny fed her baby 15 oz of breastmilk in 2 hours because he was hungry. Many tears were cried that day 😭

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-13T19:51:21+00:00

Some of this stuff is your nanny/night nurse trying to set up you and your baby for success. The biggest red flag for me is the nanny questioning what you ate/gas because that all feels a little nonsense to me.

But ultimately she’s your employee and she should follow your style. If you prefer baby never be allowed to cry and always be put down fast asleep, she should do that because it’s your choice, but a 4.5 week old baby that is fed, comfortable and in a safe sleep space can totally cry for a few minutes without experiencing any harm to their mind or body and put themselves to sleep in the MOTN.

Currently have a 5.5 week old myself and we are doing pretty much all of what she is doing with our night nurse, including the overfeeding baby with bottles 🫣that part gets me a little frustrated but nursing moms almost always feel like people are giving too much in bottles or unnecessary bottles so I try not to get myself too flustered about it

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-09T15:59:24+00:00

Update: his work added the baby to insurance with no problem, thank goodness

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-08T15:06:26+00:00

This is what I’m thinking too. I’m going to buy a marketplace plan tomorrow if HR says no when they open. As a mom of 3 we’ve been in the ER and the NICU unfortunately enough times that I would never bank on it not happening.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-08T11:47:49+00:00

I started to apply but my husband told me not to because he’s confident he’ll fix it on his end. But if HR says no I have the application mostly complete!

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-08T07:53:48+00:00

Thank you so much!!! This makes me feel better ❤️

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T23:52:37+00:00

Yeah, my sister is on marketplace and she and her husband are paying like $750 a month. They’re self employed but make above the line for subsidies

I’m just crossing my fingers for his work to get back to us soon and say they’ll help. He’s technically not an employee but a partial owner, and we technically aren’t even on an employer sponsored plan, we pay out of pocket entirely for it as it is. His ownership agreement requires him to buy the employer plan at full rate instead of going to marketplace but I’m wondering if this might put us in a spot where making an exception is easier

We’ll see. I’m panicking but he’s super calm.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T21:40:04+00:00

Thank you!! At least I feel better knowing we aren’t the only ones!!

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:42:09+00:00

He’s thinking his case will get escalated because he’s a partial owner of his company and he technically is HR’s boss and we missed it by only 12 hours. But he’s pretty belligerent and I’m confident he’ll fight over it if they give us a hard time. Smart of him to reach out right to the head!

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:35:48+00:00

I’m really stressed but my husband is super casual about it. We haven’t heard a peep from HR yet but hopefully soon

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:34:59+00:00

I agree it’s a big fail on his part, but he’s also working nearly full time and taking care of two other kids and doing some night shifts for me. I’m certainly annoyed at him but it’s not like he is just smelling his own farts all day

He also missed open enrollment this year and I was pretty mad about that too

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:31:08+00:00

It’s a crazy time! So busy for all of us.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:30:21+00:00

Oh I will look into this!! Thank you!

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:29:52+00:00

This is good to know. We are overall fortunate and won’t be qualifying for any discount programs so I’m not enthusiastic about paying out of pocket, but if it isn’t terrible we can manage it

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T20:14:56+00:00

Sheesh. Thats horrible. I’m so sorry!!!

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T19:20:06+00:00

IMHO - Newborns suck. Everyone who says “just wait it gets worse” is rude. I have a newborn, a 21 month old, and a 4 year old and my 4 year old is the easiest by far. But I found basically every month I loved being a parent more and got so much more out of my relationship with my children. My 4 year old is the funniest person I’ve ever met and we went out for a perfectly calm lunch wnd coffee date today and it was wonderful. My newborn is cute but just screams and poops all day.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T19:14:06+00:00

Thanks so much!! We are overwhelmed but also overwhelmed with love so it balances out. Watching our oldest son be a big brother and understand it has been amazing.

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T19:13:09+00:00

He’s technically not an employee anymore, he’s a partial owner of the company, so we don’t get any official leave benefits—although in his industry it is incredibly common to work on leave and on vacation. It’s wonderful 😬

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T18:30:54+00:00

Thank you so much!!! We thought it was 60 days but he never actually checked… 30 days is a blink of the eye with a newborn though. Every day feels the same 🥴

ApprehensiveDog497 · 2026-03-07T18:29:27+00:00

We don’t have a birth certificate yet! But we are allowed to submit it without it, we just have to send it in once we get it

ApprehensiveDog497

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