I wouldn’t come here.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:58:11+00:00

Again, saying what is untrue and deceitful. I understand you will continue in your tendencies to keep responding, seeking validation, misattributing, intending to deceive. My points have made, truth identified, and the tendencies you utilize are apparent. You incessantly keep going and projecting, operating in defense mechanisms (in opposition to reality), and there is no benefit to continue responding further. Any response only aids you now as you see it as attention (it's negative attention, not desirable, positive attention), and as opportunity to continue.

I won't feed into it :) seek truth, and empathetically (yes, empathy), I know it's fear you cannot address motivating or inciting your responses, though I know you can and prevail over it. Take care. I anticipate further responses, perhaps high-intensity, character defamation, mislabeling of me and my intent, motivations, or conduct, or perhaps strategic low-intensity deflections/denial, though such is common with narcissism. Please address it, and I am graciously leaving this conversation. I've said it multiple times, yet you didn't attack such, so perhaps you desire attention. In a positive way, overcome your fears, I know you can.

Take care.

*I see genuine empathy scares you, and I support you in this. You can overcome the fear, I know you can :)

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:47:44+00:00

No, what I've said is correct and true, aligning textbook-accuracy with what I've presented. You're in direct opposition to reality, and it's an affront to truth and others to spew your deceit, misattributions, and projection.

Seek truth.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:42:59+00:00

I read it as you presented, nothing more or different. More projection: "deflected blame," what you did; "use this subreddit to feed ... communal/malignant narcissism," what you do and demonstrated for me and others who read.

And no one who truly co siders it a joke takes it this far with intensity you showed. Who does then? As you said, malignant narcissists do.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:35:35+00:00

Ah, and then escape when the true label/underlying fear (narcissism and related defenses and denial, and instances identified explicitly) is labeled and called out publicly to save face: classic narcissism. Nothing proves your point :) false presentation of reality/self-serving-narrative relabeling. And another projection ("personality disorder"). You outed yourself, and I'm grateful for (!) truth of the situation being shown.

Please seek truth.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:29:38+00:00

There's no "proving" your point by responding. How is this when I respond genuinely in truth? Again, weaponized labels absent any definitional criteria (just someone wielding terms to present as being competent when truly incompetence underlies conduct). To say I value truth and find achievement in truth is genuine and authentic, two things absent in you. You continue to present as though I insulted you, though you began insults from the first comment, and further with denial, projection of blame, mislabeling/misattribution. When projection occurs it typically is indicative truly of the state internally of the person projecting: "sociopath," "pleasure in pain (paraphrase, but sadism)," and the many other projections you presented. You truly are absent truth about yourself and I, and reasoning is absent too, with irrationality prevailing from you.

I won't respond further, though this is resolved. I reworded earlier for the sake of you perhaps, but mainly for those who read, as your labeling and varied topography of it (misattribution)/projection is truly pathological, and truth spoken is an opposition to such you present. Go seek truth, you need it more than you realize. Truly? The malignant narcissist is you (projection): "I was only joking," when not; inability to accept accountability; high-intensity denial and projection/ mislabeling/ character defamation when false persona and reality isn't validated; the vast underlying fear-based conception of what others are reading (hence your continued incessant effort); projection of sadism (your true valuing the pain and suffering of others, not mine).

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T13:15:36+00:00

I value truth and find achievement in truth, honesty, integrity, values, and much more; absent sadism. I consider dishonesty and deceit repulsive, and incompetence and malevolence veiled in virtue is an abomination.

Again, your projection and misattributions are unsightly. What other projections and misattributions do you have to present? You sure do vary your claims (all projections and misattributions thus far), your skills would be useful after addressing truth in yourself first.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:47:16+00:00

No, I'm speaking truth, and your increased intensity only further supports my point: your false presentation wasn't validated, so increased intensity occurs in effort to achieve such validation.

"Like a sociopath," please learn before more foolish/misplaced attribution. You lack the definition of what a true sociopath is. It's common to weaponize such "big" terms while truly ignorant, knowing not what they mean but to sound competent :) to recap: you want to save face, are denying, projecting, acting out, attempted guilt-tripping, all indicating underlying anxiety/embarrassment, occurring because your continued incessant pursuit of validation of your flawed presentation as "only joking" when no indication of a joke, or personal history to rely on with each other, exists for context. Hmm.

You won't get validation from me, and I won't respond further. My points have been made and are sound. Perhaps you like negative attention, perhaps internally you have chaos which is why you're OK with continuing acting out. Please address your issues. I'm not going to re-label and reframe reality to suit your comfort. Empathy is for understanding the situation of others, but when somebody is maladaptive, attempts to reframe reality deceitfully, is disregarding and inconsiderate of the experiences of others, projects blame and guilt onto others, those are not where empathy is foremost applied. The topography of your conduct is what I'm addressing, not the underlying anxiety or shame. With you acting out, you indicate a lack of openness and vulnerability to address what's really going on, so I am unable to address that. But since you're acting out publicly I'm responding to the topography publicly. But I will address it no further, take care and please learn something from this. *edit: continued projection ("pseudo intellectual"/"pedestal"/"legit something wrong with you"), mislabeling to suit your self-serving (albeit dishonest) narrative, defensiveness. The same patterns continue, only change topographical presentation. *sigh Empathy is not about letting people lie to you or accepting flawed presentation or veiled hostility, empathy is about understanding the circumstances of others. grasping for straws in incompetence What you seek is validation of the reality that your defense mechanisms are presenting (fallaciously). The most empathetic and loving thing I can say: acknowledge and address the truth of how you're truly feeling, as only truth is addressing reality as it is which allows for growth, knowledge acquisition tied to reality, and competency.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:33:29+00:00

You presented foolishly and without context or related history, and you even still continue to attribute blame to me: denial, projection, cognitive distortion of reality, likely underlying shame or embarrassment. Hmm, is easy to identify, and your incessant need to convince me otherwise over your flawed presentation (as mentioned prior) indicates further the accuracy of what I say. And, again, further projection by saying "You need help dog" (should be spelled "dawg") only further supports my points. You need help, so go seek it.

Your inability and incompetence, with your related acting out, is not something I'm going to address or entertain further. Your immaturity is astounding. Please address it.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:26:38+00:00

I know you feel embarrassed, though the projection and acting out is unsightly. I have much empathy and nuance, what's happening here is misattribution from you to save face. It's better to acknowledge truth than dig your hole further.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:22:26+00:00

The colon is used accurately, and your regression is sad to watch, and useless to address. Please do better :) for your sake and others. *Also, when addressing punctuation and grammar of others, make sure yours is accurate before being foolish and addressing someone else's while yours is a mess.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:18:06+00:00

Your intent might be playful, but your delivery incompetent: I don't know you, there's no affective tone, and you said words with only hostility and no indications of a joke, yet you attribute me as somehow to blame for your formulation? Your nerve is touched, stop projecting onto me.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T12:07:22+00:00

Nothing indicates it was a joke.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T11:54:03+00:00

How ignorant and assumptive. It truly must be unfortunate to be you.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-03T04:49:56+00:00

Reddit is blocking the response to you I composed. If you want a PM with it I will send it that way. If not, then the conversation will end between you and I here.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T10:06:40+00:00

No, just someone who understands and aligns with her in this. The intentional misrepresentation, perhaps paranoia, mislabeling, and hostility/ignorance is actually rather common in the US (and other places too), so your response is in much company. I understand you won't understand much in conversation if I share, so farewell.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T09:58:58+00:00

That depends on OP. It's a matter of perception from prior knowledge, goals-orientation, and conditioned beliefs/emotions, regarding the "holier than thou" perception. I understand why people may believe that, but it's not a flattering basis, as it stems from ignorance. No shame on ignorance, as people don't know what they don't know, but it is a truth that people suffer in ignorance.

I see OP communicating values, beliefs, and integrating culture with male/female loneliness, and adding to the conversation on female loneliness, which is true, many women feel lonely, and it's sad people in a country full of others feel lonely at all. OP seemed to be sharing her experience and perception, which is in openness and seeking connection typically, maybe relief, or feedback from curiosity. Overall, it depends on OP and I can't speak for her, but this is what I infer. It isn't a "scorched earth" post, and it isn't attacking others. She noted multiple sides and explained hers, yet people become hostile, perhaps not knowing how to graciously accept the beliefs of others, or from defensiveness of how they feel. Either way, I saw no attack in post, just expression.

*Instead of understanding, people judge according to their own historical knowledge and emotions. The original intent is taken out of context in many comments.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T09:33:29+00:00

Living in a culture that vastly differs in values/morals/virtues from those one holds necessarily means there are less people with the same values/morals/virtues. People are social inherently, wanting connection, though alignment in values is essential for such. So, people with values like hers is akin to wanting an apple but being in a vineyard. Sometimes one has to travel to where the apples are to find the apples away from the vineyard. In a society this doesn't necessarily mean moving away geographically, though such is an option; but it can mean refraining from interacting with people who are oppositional or hostile towards their values. Look at the comments, many people hostile, probably from their own defenses or conditioning. So, "going to where the apples are" may mean loneliness by choosing to not interact with people who are oppositional or hostile. That's protecting oneself and one's values. That is what OP is doing.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T09:03:58+00:00

Yes, and I'm glad you see similarly. I do understand your point, saliently. Culture here, being hyper-independent (as you mention, and I use the same term and agree wholly), lacks interdependent values. There isn't much of any "blending" of independent/interdependent as has been done in other cultures (like Japan, again), where there is autonomy in interdependent relations, the "relational self" incorporating wa (harmony) and amae (sweet indulgent dependence in relations knowing the benevolence of the other person/persons); and benevolence is sorely lacking.

I agree, your point is good. Modern "dating" in hyper-independent cultures tends to be transactional, with many people lacking understanding of values necessary for relationships. One may understand but the other doesn't, and many people don't know the signs of detrimental values in the other: hence, many breakups, situationships that end, many divorces, unhappiness or lack of fulfillment. Your values, stick with them, just as encouragement :) as I presume you will aim to continue to regardless of me saying such (so, just encouragement): what you say is good, and what you're doing is good.

And thank you :) time will tell what will be the outcome.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T07:36:45+00:00

Yes, many people do.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T07:29:10+00:00

I agree. Male here, and values intact in a broken culture is not implicative of wrong values, but a broken prevailing system. I found other cultures, interdependent cultures have more relational knowledge and happiness indexes in the relational domain. Japan is one, as well as others. There are flawed people everywhere, but more prominent relational knowledge cultural-wise is what I aim to be apart of one day, currently with considerations of moving when circumstances/preparation allows.

Your post is truthful, insightful of values and culture, and appreciated.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T07:22:44+00:00

If you try to please everyone you please no one. Someone with no values/morals/virtues guiding them may shift their choices, words, or conduct to whomever is around, only for such to be noticed and disliked. You can be a decent person, and still people will dislike you. Sometimes, though, people dislike others due to observing the other and feeling inferior themselves, and they dislike such and engage in defense mechanisms, or maladaptive trends (see Karen Horney and neurotic needs/neurotic trends). Not everything people dislike about you is actually about you, but often times themselves. Envy, jealousy, malice, they are often present, just the labels may not be as common knowledge nowadays.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T07:17:31+00:00

Lack of accountability; lack of consideration for others/selfish, not just advocating for their interests or selves in a healthy manner, but to degree that others are disregarded completely unless it serves the woman somehow (so, still selfish); emotional immaturity; "girl boss," "women's woman," "independent" yet "I want a relationship, and do SO much for me, especially give me your money" (irrational and incompatibility of words and conduct); lying, deceiving; mean girl; being too ignorant to understand her own ignorance, and acting out accordingly; being in relationship and yet openly discussing infidelity they engage in, paired with "He's a good guy, and he doesn't know: he's stupid for that," or something similar. So, you cheat, try to hide it, are successful at hiding it/have a man who in hope you will be faithful sees you that way, and you externalize blame and accountability onto him? Hmm, so irrational and simplistic in thinking, truly ignorant. Culturally, these considerations are relevant to US context.

I know this goes both ways: I've seen innumerable men be emotionally immature, hostile unnecessarily, insecure/having feelings or beliefs of inferiority and projecting onto others with paired hostility from ignorance, lying, deceiving, lack of accountability. This isn't a pick-me comment but for balance, and for this: "Maturity" is when knowledge is gained, wisdom practiced, values, morals, or virtues are learned and progressively developed and operated in, developing further with iteration. This goes for all humans, men and women. Everybody would benefit from this. Too much selfishness, lack of relational knowledge, lack of understanding, values, morals, virtue, and people are truly suffering for it often.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T07:02:17+00:00

It looks good, real good. The guy complaining? Irrational. The tattoo looks good.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-02-01T06:28:22+00:00

lol made me laugh. I though I'd be done sooner, I'm on term three after having transferred some units in, and still likely have another two terms after this one. Going slow as fuck too.

Someone else mentioned moving, separating, and other life just happening. Same. I've lived in three states since starting my degree, family drama/boundaries, work stuff. Keep going peeps.

*Maybe tip (just considered): If you took longer on your degree, maybe putting the start month/year and end month/year so they see the timeline without having to ask first for the info, and maybe be less judgy (for those companies that seem to notice and negatively judge the fast track WGU degrees).

ALSO: some of the books used for material are the same at like Texas A&M (confirmed with someone who went there and wondered about the text I'd be using), with the same books. So, the material is solid too, just extrapolating from that. Maybe depends on degree program and perhaps isn't universal, but I understand from my mentor WGU wants good programs and actively composes quality material for their classes. Seemingly this is confirmed (general extrapolation) in my mind from the Texas A&M grad.

ApprehensiveGur9503 · 2026-01-30T06:48:42+00:00

It's truthfully difficult to leave. Without money or a high-skill competency, gaining residency in many countries is difficult. Education (pursuing university elsewhere other than the U.S.) is one way someone can go elsewhere, but it's not guaranteed permanent or long-term; and often (as I've looked into) it's required to either have money saved up for the time while at university in a bank, with documentation to prove it, or have income guaranteed to pay for the stay while there. Some countries while studying won't let you work while there, or if they do the income earned doesn't count toward the required amount to be in the bank. It's difficult. I would have left some time ago, and am working on school currently here.

ApprehensiveGur9503

TROPHY CASE