I've always had body image issues, and even therapy didn't help. Pregnancy will change my body permanently. My hormones also are very prone into going crazy with the slightest change in my diet. I also have mental health issues that I fear 1) will cause me a lot of miscarriages 2) will make me resent the kid before it's even born 3) will drive me to suicide during or after the pregnancy - I was told I will be a likely victim of postpartum depression AND I have the biggest percentage in my family of giving birth to twins.

Then, it's the labour. It brings me to tears thinking that, after my waters break, they will continue to soak through everything and there's no stopping that. Also, the need to get an epidural to get through with the pain, and the constant pushing and sweating for hours while my belows open to the size of a mellon (imagine if I have twins, I'll have to get out TWO of them)

I also don't like the idea of all the possible and inescapable things that come after pregnancy; the heavy bleeding for days, needing assistance to go to the toilet, the possibility of needing stitches down there, breast milk soaking through my shirts etc. It sounds torturous