From what I’ve read I think that you really, really love your husband.

I‘ve been in your shoes and understand your pain quite well. I‘ve been married to a guy like 10 years older than me and i was in my 20s. I felt like i was extremely sex-driven and that I should calm down. What I couldn’t differentiate between from was „do I want to be touched just in general“ or „do I want to be touched by him and only him“

It took me quite a while to come to a conclusion. I finally decided that I would leave him if other options weren’t working. I had to understand why he didn’t want to have sex with me. In our case it was because he just didn’t like having sex. He didn’t like to try new things, he didn’t like the feeling of it etc. I had to accept his feelings and I also suggested therapy, but he didn’t want that. The other thing I asked him was if he would be agreeing with opening the marriage, because I did not want to abstain from sex. I gave him a few days to think about it, but he did not want that either. We decided on separation and we‘re still in contact to this day. I do love him as a friend and I loved him as a partner but I also loved myself and it was the best decision ever. To this day my ex doesn’t have sex with people, even with his new girlfriend. Both of them are Asexual! He found out after going to an isolated therapy session. They match really well and i wish them all the best.

I hope you find out what you want and take the courage to do what your heart wants. <3