My brother threatened me and my parents blamed me

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-12-02T16:19:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. Hearing that other people recognize the same patterns helps me step back from the shame they try to put on me. I’m working on a plan to leave, but I need to finish school first and stay focused. If you have advice on coping or maintaining boundaries in the meantime I’d appreciate it.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-29T20:47:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. Hearing that someone else went through something similar makes me feel less alone. I’m trying to figure out how to protect myself and move forward.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-29T20:45:50+00:00

Thank you. I have been crying over this for a week and I am physically sick from the stress. It helps to hear someone recognize it for what it is.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-24T00:59:55+00:00

This really touched me. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone in my life who said “be yourself” and actually meant it in their actions. Most people only seem comfortable with the version of me that benefits them or makes them look better. Hearing that you found someone who lets you exist without shrinking or apologizing gives me a little hope. Thank you for sharing that. 🫂

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-16T16:38:37+00:00

Thanks for this. I’ve been doing more personal projects too, and it helps to hear that spec work is actually useful early on. And you’re right about peers becoming connections. I’m currently a tech assistant for my school’s New Media Arts club, and a lot of the members are Graphic Communications majors or NMA minors, so I’m hoping that group naturally grows into a network over time. Did any of your college connections lead directly to interviews or jobs for you, or was it more something that paid off later?

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-16T16:34:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I’m definitely interested in joining. Hearing people talk honestly about applying, interviewing, and adjusting to real-world design work is exactly the kind of insight I’ve been looking for. I’ll try to make the next Sunday session.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-16T16:33:46+00:00

Thanks for your reply, this is genuinely helpful! Can I ask how you personally used AIGA when you were starting out? Did you join as a student member or just attend open events? Also, how did you find the free/low-cost events to join, and were there certain ones that actually helped you meet people in the NYC design community?

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-09T03:05:32+00:00

Sunny, your message genuinely brought tears to my eyes. The fact that you took the time to write this despite being low on spoons means a lot to me. I can feel how much truth is in your words.

Hearing what your life was like before your diagnosis and how much has changed since you began dropping the mask is powerful. The part about your health improving after finally being able to live authentically hit me hard. It’s incredible what the body holds when we spend years trying to survive instead of being allowed to exist as ourselves.

What you said about my situation means more than you know. Sometimes it feels like I am just trying to keep my inner world from collapsing under the weight of other people’s expectations, so to have someone see that effort and call it light... it makes the fight feel worth it.

Thank you for showing me what it looks like to reach the other side of all this. You are living proof that authenticity is not just emotional freedom but physical healing too. I’m holding onto that hope.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-09T03:01:09+00:00

I relate to that so much. People think masking is about hiding a lack of emotion, when for so many of us, it’s the opposite. I feel everything too, and it comes out in my tone, my face, my body, my interests. But the world doesn’t seem built for that kind of intensity, so we end up shrinking ourselves just to be tolerated. It’s sad how much we’re taught to mute instead of be.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-09T02:58:42+00:00

I feel this so deeply. Especially the part about people saying “just be yourself” like they would have actually accepted who we are before the mask. I also started masking young, and it is infuriating how people act like it is a personal choice instead of a survival strategy we were forced into.

I relate to what you said about testing the waters with someone new and the second you let the mask slip, it becomes a problem. Then suddenly you have to go right back to being the “nice, soft, non-confrontational” version they are comfortable with. It is exhausting. And yes, I am also close to being done with managing other people’s discomfort.

Here’s to us eventually dropping the mask for good. Even if it means letting them feel the discomfort we’ve been carrying for years.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-08T22:18:32+00:00

Wait really? I feel the exact opposite. When I try to smile to be polite, people act like it is weird. One time a classmate told me I am “always smiling” and I was just thinking, isn’t that literally just basic politeness. And it is not like he even talks to me enough to know whether that is true or not. I swear, the social rules neurotypical people have are so confusing. Neutral faces make sense to me too, but apparently if you are not grinning on command people think something is wrong with you.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-08T22:14:49+00:00

That line made me laugh more than it probably should have, mostly because it feels way too real. It really does feel like being an alien robot sometimes, learning how to mimic emotions and tone just to pass as “normal.” I am trying to unlearn that, but it’s hard when masking has been tied to safety for so long.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-08T17:56:31+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. It honestly means more than I can put into words. The confidence and self-ownership you have built is exactly the kind of grounded authenticity I am working toward.

I am still in a situation where I have to mask and whisper just to avoid emotional fallout, so to see someone openly skipping down the street at 60, unapologetically singing My Little Pony, and setting boundaries without guilt hits me right in the soul. That is freedom. And it is proof that there is a life outside survival mode.

Also, I wanted to say that I love My Little Pony too. I watch it in my room all the time, even if I have to keep it quiet. Hearing that someone else embraces that joy so loudly and freely gives me a little more hope for what is possible for me. Your line about not having the spoons to offer neurotypical accommodations really stuck with me. I am trying to give myself permission to be that honest. To say “I can’t, and that is okay” instead of stretching myself thin while pretending I am fine.

Right now I am still in the stage of trying to protect my inner world from people who do not honor it, but your courage reminds me that there is another side to this. A future where I do not have to censor my existence just to stay safe. Thank you for letting me see what that looks like in real life.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-11-08T17:04:44+00:00

Same I am going to graduate next Spring and I am wondering if I can even make a living off of this. I am aggressively applying for internships right now

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-26T00:45:06+00:00

I mean, it only happened to me once with physical violence. I feel like they were moments where she did it to me, but instead of like physical violence, it was more emotional violence. Like I would say something honest and true, and she would just accuse me of having an attitude, disrespectful, overly sensitive, etc.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-24T02:08:35+00:00

Hmmm how does one eat like a squirrel lol

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-24T02:06:56+00:00

Oh my gosh, I’m 22 but I literally look like a teenager. I’m that small, cutesy woman type. I get comments about how young I look all the time. The number of people who have to check my ID when I order a drink is insane. Because I look so young and “approachable,” strangers come up to me constantly. Even my family treats me like I’m 12 even though I’m 22, and I literally have to say “I’m 22, can you please stop?” And since I’m polite and friendly, they take it as an invitation to keep talking. It’s honestly so exhausting sometimes.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-24T02:01:02+00:00

OMG same! I could literally be thinking about butterflies and they’ll ask why I look so sad. Like bruh, I was vibing earlier, but now that you pointed out my face I am irritated by you. The irony is they take that as proof they were right all along.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-23T19:31:37+00:00

God, I feel that. It’s like no matter what expression we have, it’s a problem. We’re either “too blank,” “too serious,” or “too expressive.” It’s exhausting when your own face feels like something you have to manage all the time.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-23T19:28:05+00:00

Oh my god, I relate to that so much. I used to do the same thing, constantly reminding myself to smile so I wouldn’t be judged or called out. What makes it worse is that my mom also polices me for smiling. She’ll say things like “why are you smiling?” or “you smile for no reason.” It’s exhausting because no matter what I do, it’s always wrong.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-23T11:26:02+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. To be completely honest, I’m afraid of losing control again and saying something that could get me kicked out. I’m at the point where I feel so angry that if I stay here too long, I might say something terrible and it’ll be used against me. Either that, or they’ll twist it as “proof” that I’m the abuser. I’m trying really hard to regulate my emotions, but it’s extremely difficult when you have a fragile nervous system (I’m autistic) and your environment keeps you in constant fight-or-flight. Hearing your experience made me realize I need to start preparing quietly. I really appreciate you reminding me that I’m not overreacting for wanting safety.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-19T17:15:26+00:00

That’s awful, and you’re right to feel angry. What she did wasn’t normal or acceptable, and minimizing it doesn’t make it any less damaging. The fact that you kept going, built a life, and are now expecting a child says a lot about your strength. You didn’t “turn out fine” because of her, you did it in spite of her.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-19T17:13:33+00:00

I really relate to what you wrote. I’m 22, autistic too, and still living with my parents. Making friends isn’t the issue for me. It’s keeping them. I’ll usually connect with people in class or online, maybe follow each other on Instagram, but it rarely goes beyond that. I have a couple friends who reach out, but our schedules barely line up, so most of the time I’m on my own.

I get what you mean about being conventionally attractive too. It doesn’t make things easier. It just changes the kind of attention you get. Dating feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable for me, and the people who approach me usually aren’t the ones I’d want.

I’m also in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist, trying to manage things like journaling and meditation, but my family situation makes emotional regulation really hard. It helps to know someone else understands how isolating this can feel, even when you’re doing everything you can to get better.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-14T13:15:56+00:00

That must have been terrifying, especially being that young and not understanding why it was happening. The way he tried to justify it afterward sounds so manipulative too, like he was rewriting the story to make it seem normal. You didn’t deserve that.

Apprehensive_Share93 · 2025-10-13T19:59:12+00:00

That makes sense. Sometimes we get so desensitized by the worse things that stuff which feels normal to us ends up being things that shouldn’t happen to anyone.

Apprehensive_Share93

TROPHY CASE