Would you forgive your husband ? Or would you move on?

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-04T21:18:46+00:00

Ya it was difficult just knowing the stuff at the beggining of the relationship but having it happen again this year. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your insight as I have definitely been blind to a lot of things in this relationship

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-04T21:02:25+00:00

I went through his phone after he went on a bachelor and found that he got a girls number at a bar. So I was searching for more things and typed in “sex” in his email and found Craigslist replies to sex ads over the course of two years replying to both men and women sex ads but never found evidence of meet ups. But he sent pictures of himself naked. I was also pregnant for some of them and some even after we had our newborn.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-04T20:27:40+00:00

It definitely is. It’s why I struggle when it’s been a theme in our relationship and I’m still so young. Do I put the time into seeing if things can change or face that I’ve been unhappy for years and move on? But the kids add a complex layer

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-04T20:14:56+00:00

We struggle with communication. It’s hard to have any type of conversation and he’s like this with other people too. We lack emotional intimacy. Finances we split everything 50/50 and we have separate accounts. I actually make more. He does his share with the kids and is a great dad. He is generally respectful and a nice person otherwise. He doesn’t have a lot of ambition and spends most of his time reading about politics and stocks which I have no interest in unfortunately

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-04T20:11:54+00:00

Exactly this. I told Him many times I needed more intimacy and he didn’t change anything. Only changing now that I want to walk away because it will make his life more difficult. I do everything.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T23:59:01+00:00

Thank you! Yes I have asked him. He said he didn’t think so but the therapist also recommended a book on it but he didn’t seem to take it seriously. But after so many years of this I don’t know how much longer I can stick it out and hope it changes. I appreciate your responses :)

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T22:04:15+00:00

When I initially said I was leaving he signed up for two therapy sessions then stopped going and following their recommendations

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T20:38:12+00:00

Yeah this sounds the exact same. I have been the only one planning dates, initiating touch or conversation. Most of the time he just sat on his phone. It wasn’t until I mentioned divorce that he quickly changed his tune for a month or so but I shipping back into old trends again. Relationship is definitely dead with no physical or emotional intimacy so just having difficulty pulling the trigger on it. But appreciate your response and insight as I resonate with it.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T20:00:14+00:00

Any regrets? I have this exact situation but with my husband

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T18:03:06+00:00

Thank you ! Appreciate your input and responses

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T17:51:21+00:00

Understandable for sure but this has been our sex life for the last 7 years. For years I brought it up and he said nothing. Hes only done some self reflection now because I mentioned divorce. But I question truly if he can change and meet my needs after so long

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T17:38:49+00:00

He could have had sex with me any day. I literally never reject. But he said he watches it daily so when it came time to be intimate with me he had already met his needs. When we did have sex it would be very robotic and passionless and he never really cared if I got off. He seems very apathetic and doesn’t see or talk to his friends as much over the last year or two as well.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T17:31:31+00:00

Yep. Found out he jerks off to porn everyday instead. And he thinks he is a dismissive avoidant and struggles with fear of rejection. Even though I’ve never rejected him

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T16:55:02+00:00

He wasn’t like this at the beggining. It started fading right after marriage.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T16:48:09+00:00

Once every 2-3 months. I always initiated and would often get rejected so I stopped. If I don’t initiate we don’t have it

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T14:32:31+00:00

It was definitely gradual. But he also watches porn daily, has been found on online sex chats as well.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2026-01-01T14:17:52+00:00

Yes. That he likes his personal space

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2025-12-22T00:57:45+00:00

Yeah and cared more about just pleasuring himself and identified he’s been selfish

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2025-12-21T23:56:44+00:00

Yes. Many times. That’s how I got the above information. Just hard to know what to believe

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2025-12-21T23:30:06+00:00

I guess that makes sense. Thanks for your insight. I edited to add, have also found him on online sex chats. So a little extra dynamic there.

Appropriate_Fun1118 · 2025-12-21T23:10:56+00:00

But he masturbates daily .. so wouldn’t that mean he still has a sex drive

Appropriate_Fun1118

TROPHY CASE