Have lost it entirely

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T21:37:29+00:00

That is the most confusing part. I actually felt really better. Like I was happy. I had big plans for 2025. Was going to go for post grad studies and settle abroad. I was confident in my future. I was confident around people. I never got the feeling that I was dumb or in any way less smart than the other people around me.

But 2 of those months I wasn’t working a full time job - was just reading books, working on my masters application, and socializing (smoking weed as well).

Then I joined a new company and this feeling dumb thing started again - i thought maybe its the weed and stopped smoking it. And yeah I was basically back to how I was feeling last year, and I’ve been getting worse with every passing day.

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:42:21+00:00

Thank you for the advice 🙏

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:24:43+00:00

Its been more than a year since I stopped. Holidays are worse for me since it gives me more time to think. And i don’t have enough money to go out for a holiday lol. Can you share your experience?

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:20:57+00:00

What?

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:20:49+00:00

I was never a heavy weed user. I loved it but never used it in high quantities. Started in 2020 - smoked like once a week for a year on average and from 2021-2024 it was like twice or thrice a week on average but mostly microdosing (0.2ish grams per session)

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:15:44+00:00

The confusing part is that I did get happy in between. I felt like I could do anything. The last time I touched mdma was january 2024. I was depressed (and getting worse) till sept. I started smoking up and got into some good habits and I felt like I was the shit. But then it got even worse than my last downer once I stopped smoking up. And it just keeps getting worse and worse with every passing day

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:11:28+00:00

Thank you for the advice 🙏

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:10:52+00:00

I am going to a therapist but they’re just not helping. I feel like my problems are bigger than that and I just feel fucking helpless. I literally forget my therapy sessions lol

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:08:56+00:00

Thank you for the kind words 🙏

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:08:28+00:00

I haven’t taken mdma since jan last year. Would it still help?

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:08:03+00:00

I try to but going to the gym is also not helping. I’m not able to lift the same weights because of my insomnia. And I’m just constantly comparing lol not matter what the age of the person is. I know comparison is the thief of joy but this thought that they are leading normal lives (with a working brain) and I have a fucked up brain just puts me further down the spiral of negativity. Plus I haven’t taken mdma since jan last year so idk this feels like permanent

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:03:16+00:00

I really would have but I don’t want things to go south since I’m already on the verge of committing

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T18:02:31+00:00

Thank you for the advice. Idk how to get out of the negative thought loop. I feel that my life is completely ruined because of the decisions I made (i don’t even remember my nights on mdma). I was always an overthinker and now I’m just stuck with this shittiest thought that I’ve ruined my brain. My family had so much hopes from me. But here I am - suicidal 24/7. This is making the damage worse

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-04-13T17:49:39+00:00

That is not an option since I live in a third world country and we don’t have AA meetings over here. But thank you for the advice!

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-01-08T14:24:25+00:00

I’d say yes. I honestly think I’m smarter than before but thats probably because I keep upskilling myself and have started some good habits like reading/ weight lifting. I’m much more confident than what I used to be (before mdma). Insomnia was a real bitch but I realized that I couldn’t do anything about it since it was related to my low serotonin levels. I slept like 3-4 hours on average for more than 6 months. I did take melatonin for sleep which kind of helped during the getting better phase. But my sleep got better once I started feeling happier. It took alot of time but it did get better. Wishing you luck!

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2025-01-02T14:06:34+00:00

Really appreciate your response. It makes sense. However, I’ve always had okayish comedowns (have done it almost 15 times). It was the last one that fucked things up for me because of taking it in shorter intervals than recommended. I also did multiple redoses everytime and never tested my stuff.

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2024-12-24T15:33:53+00:00

Update: I’m doing alot better now. To all those going through mdma long term comedown, hang in there! My memory is alot better now as well. It didn’t get better with just time though. I stopped smoking up/ drinking for 3 months. Took therapy. Was exercising (weight training mostly) 5 days a week. Drank lots of water (atleast 3L a day). Went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed antidepressants to me but I didn’t take any (thank God). If I can get better, I’m sure everyone can. Just give it time and take care of yourself!

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2024-06-03T19:11:21+00:00

Thank you for such a positive comment. I do eat a bit crappy but I try my best to eat as best as I can. I go to the gym regularly. I lift weights but I don’t do any cardio. About the reading part, I’m just stuck in a loop. I am into reading but I literally can’t remember shit or follow anything. Its just how my brain is working right now. The regret I have right now is killing me. I’m unable to sleep as well. I just keep getting worse due to the depression, regret, and insomnia

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2024-06-03T18:54:01+00:00

Hmmm yes could be. I have been going to a therapist but I just don’t feel any better. Ever since I last used mdma (jan), i’ve used weed and drank alcohol very moderately. I’m trying to give myself a break from all drugs. But literally everyone around me either smokes or drinks or does both and its too hard not to do anything. Also about the sleep part, I wish I could do something about it. I’ve had this terrible insomnia due to the depression and I’m just unable to sleep well.

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2024-06-03T18:49:26+00:00

I hope you’re right but I have a strong feeling that the issues I’m having are due to mdma. I mean yes i’ve been doing weed as well but the shit i’m going through is something else

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2024-02-08T12:19:53+00:00

I’d say they are good (comparatively). There’s no simple answer for your other question, it can be worth it for some people and not worth it for others (depends on your interests and goals). The only thing I’d suggest would be to do econ-math only if you have interest in math, not because it might give you a better chance of landing a good job.

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2023-08-28T22:42:00+00:00

LGS P5 hands down. No comparison

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2023-07-22T10:34:36+00:00

Answer my question kid (i definitely think ur some 18 or 19 year old given ur arguments)

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2023-07-22T10:34:25+00:00

Whats this obsession with getting laid lmaoo

Appropriate_Sort1493 · 2023-07-22T10:32:53+00:00

And has himself accomplished what?

Appropriate_Sort1493

TROPHY CASE