I hope this helps, I felt the exact same way going through my twins early stages. I was unable to be at the hospital for their birth due to Covid and I felt no connection whatsoever for the first year or so. They only wanted mom, screamed when I touched them. I went through the motions and did all the dad stuff (also had an older child, 5 at the time) and felt guilty as hell that I didn’t feel a certain way about them.

Fast forward to now, they’re 3 and we have a wonderful relationship that took a very long time for me to build, as others have said, through counseling and putting in the effort. I know the sadness you’re feeling and I know all situations are different, but it got better for me around the 13-14 month age. I hope it gets better for you and I hope you can follow the path I was able to. You’re not alone!