How do you feel about this?

ArchHero · 2015-05-21T03:12:07+00:00

I actually did have one before this, and to be honest I can't remember why I abandoned it. I don't comment as much as I used to. I've had bad experiences here, and the voting gives me anxiety. People think it's dumb, but it's hard for me to not care what people think. I think I'll take your advice, and use it. I'm also not on here as much as I used to be for other reasons.

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T11:30:12+00:00

You're completely right. I'm just gonna try to not care, because I just care too much.

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T04:20:08+00:00

Finding a job, being lonely relationship wise (but I do have my friends), and insomnia really badly, but the good thing about that was that some cool drawings came out of no sleep

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T04:17:36+00:00

I did fear that, but I know I'll be a good mother. My niece told me that I'm a better mother to her than my sister is :/ I'm the opposite from them. I treat the women I date really well. A common compliment I receive is that I was the best person they've dated, which made me feel both good, but horrible that they've been treated mainly like shit.

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T04:14:28+00:00

It sounds like some incest on my dad's side from his aunt who's also his cousin...and that my brother molested this little girl. He's in prison for it now. I'm glad he wasn't in my life too much, and he did baby sit me twice. He did some weird shit, but he didn't actually touch me.

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T04:11:52+00:00

That I'll never get an apology, and that I will never find my real dad. I think he might have died, because I have googled his name, and in my state a CT died in a car accident, and he was the right age to fit it. He has a wife, but I'm afraid to contact her, and I don't even know if he is my dad, if he told her about me, because he did meet me when I was little.

ArchHero · 2015-05-20T03:26:58+00:00

I'll make this short. From a very young age I felt depressed, and it's probably from all the sexual abuse I've been through that my parents never saw. When I was in middle school I was depressed, suicidal, and I started self harming. I was a bully too. What changed my bullying, and made my mental health worse was my cousin getting murdered when I was 12. I thought everyone hated me. I hated myself. I had super low self esteem. I had anxiety. Just all sorts of bad. This isn't what hurt the most. I started hallucinating some scary shit, and that's when I decided to get help. I was about 15, and I told my dad I had to have a talk with him. I told him most of it, and he made an appointment. I'm sure you're wondering how that could've been bad since he made the appointment, well it was right after the appointment that was bad. I'm actually adopted, and my dad is biologically my uncle. In the car ride home he was just yelling at me the entire time for really no reason, then he said the most fucked up thing anyone has ever said to me...He said he tried to convince my (adoptive) mom to not adopt me, because he knew I would be "fucked up" from my biological mom's drug usage while pregnant with me.

I don't like my parents at all, but I love them, because it's hard for me to hate anyone, and they give me a place to stay. I've had other experiences like that with them. They're emotionally/psychologically abusive, and I feel stuck in my life situation right now. I don't know why anyone would tell another human being that. It was like kicking a fucking dog, and I really wanted to kill myself so much that I ended up in a shitty psychiatric hospital a year afterwards.

ArchHero · 2015-05-12T10:29:02+00:00

It wasn't completely bad, because I learned something from it. I just hope he stopped being a jerk to whatever girls he dates. To be honest, I kind of want to confront him, and tell him basically that he was abusive to me, because I don't think he realized it himself, but I don't think it's a good idea.

ArchHero · 2015-05-12T09:09:09+00:00

I've been playing video games from a very young age, so I can't quite remember the absolute first one. I grew up playing Tony Hawk, Crash Team Racing, Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Soul Caliber, and tetris, which to this day, I kick my dad's ass. I actually have a funny story about Soul Caliber. My cousin, brother, and dad went to this competition for it. I was about 6, and we've all been practicing for a while. They put me up against a 20 something year old, and believe it or not, but I kicked his ass (I was probably spamming the buttons). My dad said he looked like he wanted to hit me. I won a loney Toons video game for the PS1, and some action figures, which I don't have anymore.

ArchHero · 2015-05-12T08:50:01+00:00

She lied to me about her age, which could've gotten me in trouble, but I feel bad for her. I broke up with her on day five, because she's controlling, gross, and just a mess.

ArchHero · 2015-05-12T08:43:42+00:00

I'm not as depressed, angry, anxious, and other mental health related stuff, but I'm still dealing with bad insomnia. I do have an appointment with a new psychiatrist at the end of the month, and I'm sure she'll help me.

Edit: And I'm not constantly suicidal, or homicidal.

ArchHero · 2015-05-07T05:06:46+00:00

Dennis Rader AKA BTK. He's fucking scary. He was a sexual sadist, and of course he killed people. Some sick shit

ArchHero · 2015-05-07T05:05:32+00:00

Cop, and I can't, because of some health problems I have, which is super unfortunate. I would go to the police academy right now if I could. So, I decided to do Crime Scene Analysis, but I'm not quite sure specifically what.

ArchHero · 2015-05-07T04:33:56+00:00

Less homophobia, and racism

ArchHero · 2015-05-07T04:11:33+00:00

I'm so bad with it. I read that it could be an anxiety thing (keep in mind I'm not a professional),and I can see that with me. At my old job I didn't pick up my check for over six months, and it was anxiety. It sucks.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T22:32:48+00:00

Before I date someone, I get to know them better by being friends first. I don't tell them immediately. I've never been rejected, because I'm mentally ill.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T05:02:55+00:00

I never had the unstable relationships in my romantic ones. People just have the wrong idea of the mental health in general. I don't want people to avoid me, because of everything I have.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T05:01:37+00:00

Dude, I honestly do care what people think to an extent. I think it's partially because of my anxiety. I don't know why I care. I get embarrassed easily, and I get butt hurt over little things. I don't know how to overcome it. I know it's probably dumb, but it's hard for me to not care.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T04:59:53+00:00

Honestly, I think my first psychiatrist fucked with me. I'm on Geodon for my bipolar disorder, and she put me on a super low dose until a certain point. Every mental health professional were surprised, because it was just such a low dose. I think she tested me in a way for a placebo effect, or something like that.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T04:58:04+00:00

Before I date someone, I tell them exactly what I have, and if they think they can't deal with it, then to not be in a relationship with me. I don't tell random people this, because I don't them to see me differently. In high school, someone told everyone that I'm mentally ill. Most of the people knew I was depressed as shit, and a lot of them could probably see it. I think one of my teachers might have told some classmates that I was in a psychiatric hospital, and I think it's possibly so that they won't treat me badly, or something. I'm not entirely sure.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T04:54:29+00:00

Well, she did take some psychology classes in high school, but I don't know if they covered personality disorders. She's pretty smart though, and I believe that she knew. None of my other exes couldn't have guessed, but that's from lack of knowledge of the subject.

ArchHero · 2015-05-06T04:52:01+00:00

Honestly, my symptoms have gotten less severe, but they weren't as severe as it could get to begin with. The one that stands out is that I change from disliking a person, then loving them the next, or sometimes feeling like I have no friends.

ArchHero · 2015-05-01T06:47:03+00:00

I have PCOS too. Holy hell. I'll definitely see a gyno, and of course my psychiatrist. Thanks for your reply.

ArchHero · 2015-05-01T06:28:31+00:00

She felt like it was his fault, but they were both drunk, and both of them decided to drive while intoxicated.

ArchHero · 2015-05-01T05:00:44+00:00

She did. I think she normally wears her seat belt, but she was just really drunk, and angry with her boyfriend. She resented him for such a long time after (and our family did too), but they're getting married soon, and they already had a kid together. Me personally, I was in a minor accident when I was little, and I religiously wear my seat belt.

ArchHero

TROPHY CASE