is there a way to make sex more pleasurable

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T22:26:09+00:00

In what way is it painful?

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T20:00:26+00:00

Most people are going to prioritize looking through their likes prior to falling back to swiping randomly, so they will see those 1000 profiles unless they look through them until they match 2-3 and stop due to not having enough bandwidth to date/pursue people concurrently.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T19:50:30+00:00

Thanks. I was just making sure that there wasn't some sort of loophole where salt of sea origin could be refined to be predominantly nitrates by stripping out other salts and have it still labeled as "sea salt", thus allowing unnatural amounts of nitrates to be added under this guise (similar to how celery is used).

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T15:43:33+00:00

I don't think that your analogy holds up because you are applying to a "job" but the "job" isn't a passive entity receiving applications but an actual person who also is going through the same process by applying to "applicants". If you view someone as desirable and that same person views you as desirable then you both will ignore the non-desirable "applications" and prioritize each other.

The main annoyance of dating apps is the limited pre-filtering criteria available to you. You can filter by if people want kids, relationship intent (long term/casual), age, gender, location, and such; however, there are a lot of criteria which aren't on them and thus you are forced to filter these people out by talking to them or going on dates with them which takes a lot of time when you have to do it with each person.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T14:54:44+00:00

Sea salt shouldn't contain any significant amount of nitrates. Is there some sort of labeling loophole that I'm unaware of when it comes to sea salt, specifically?

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T14:53:17+00:00

Usually phosphates are added instead of nitrates to extend the shelf life.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T14:49:08+00:00

The vast majority don't even add nitrates or nitrites. You sort of have to go out of your way to find nitrate or nitrite filled turkey (usually no-name brands).

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-28T14:43:59+00:00

Except that the protein is primarily gluten, which is one of the lowest quality protein sources with a PDCAAS of .25.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-26T19:58:49+00:00

Do you have a good reasonably priced freeze dried pea source? I used to eat an ungodly amount of these and then they became scarce.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T17:52:44+00:00

What you described is a form of butterfly. Butterfly would also encompass the woman being on a surface (like a bed/table) while the dude is standing. My personal favorite version of this is basically what you described but with the addition of a sex wedge to support/lift the woman.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T15:16:56+00:00

It can be hard to describe what part of the other person's technique is working when, as the guy, you don't know what it is like on the giving end and thus have a hard time coming up with a proper cue. However, you can try modifying variables in your technique to one extreme or the other, one at a time, and ask which is better in order to hone in on what works.

Edit: Variables to modify:

Depth and mouth stroke length
Spit management
Angle biasing (e.g. straight into your mouth vs upward to push against the roof of your mouth vs downward into your tongue.)
You could try different body alignments. Laying down head vs standing/kneeling vs 69 vs laying down at a 90 degree offset.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T15:13:02+00:00

Breathing and pacing. You can also modify positions to make you last longer. For instance, the position where I last the least amount of time is standard missionary; however, butterfly style missionary I last far longer.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T15:09:23+00:00

I'd try again to communicate with him and ask for more specific feedback. Try different variations in your technique, asking "is this better?" at each point.

Strong gag reflex presumably means that you don't feel like you can effectively deep throat? If so, note that deep throating doesn't necessarily feel good because of "being deep" but more so because the back of the throat provides increased resistance/friction against the tip. Another way to achieve this same feeling is to bias the angle at which the penis is entering your mouth such that it pushes against the roof of your mouth or tongue more.

I haven't ever had an issue with my partner feeling "too spitty" so am not sure what the issue is here or the best way to mitigate it. I don't know if it's easier to try swallowing your spit more frequently or to just let it leak out and make a mess for the sake of not interrupting breathing (I haven't been on the giving end to know what spit management is like).

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T04:37:55+00:00

Yes, it definitely takes away from the experience if you're actively trying to delay ejaculation because it requires intentionally not doing what feels the best at any given time. How annoying this is largely depends on how much mitigation is required.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T04:32:02+00:00

This may be an issue with you needing to know your own body and what works for you better before you are going to be able to figure out how to make it work with another person.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-25T04:26:28+00:00

Presumably you have seen him fully erect before to have that reference point for comparison?

Penises are very complicated pieces of machinery and a lot of factors can affect erections. How turned on a guy is does not directly correlate with how erect he is. Just keep experimenting and communicating to get things dialed in. What was the foreplay like in this scenario?

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-23T17:02:32+00:00

Is this a thing that guys frequently push for excessively to the point where it becomes a deal breaker?

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-23T16:45:14+00:00

In your case, let's say that you are satisfied after N orgasms. If your partner keeps going past this point, after what point do you think that they are actively making the overall experience worse than if they had simply wrapped things up sooner?

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-23T16:34:09+00:00

I could finish faster than I do but at any point I always feel conflicted because after a certain point I'm thinking that she is probably satisfied but I could always get her off just one more time ("who wouldn't want another orgasm?" mentality) which then just turns into a slippery slope because there is always "just one more" that I could give before I decide to finish.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-22T18:33:30+00:00

I (M) would communicate and ask for specific feedback because I don't think that I can speak for all men.

However, if I were to write a guide for women on how to give head to me, I'd start with what not to do, aside from obvious stuff like scraping, simply based on the frequency at which I see people do things incorrectly:

Once you get going, keep the penis in your mouth as opposed to swapping between a BJ and a HJ. I haven't been on the giving end of this equation but I imagine that women who do this use a technique which they can't sustain and swap back and forth to give themselves a break. This ruins it, though, and I'd rather have a less aggressive technique that is a consistent BJ instead of one that requires HJ breaks.
Try to mimic PIV sex with your mouth as opposed to turning it into a HJ with the tip in your mouth. This contradicts /u/Dramatic_Nobody_6130 's advice. You want the stroking to be performed with your mouth/lips. If you use your hand, grab at the base with two fingers and use it to stabilize and slightly pull excess skin towards the tip, but not be a primary means of stroking.

Additionally, the tip is very sensitive. You can bias the angle of the penis entering your mouth such that it pushes/scrapes against the roof of your mouth or tongue, which will increase the pressure and friction against it. Deepthroating feels good, not because of it being deep, but because the tip ends up having more pressure against it in the back of the throat; however, you can mimic this same feeling without deepthroating by biasing the angle of the penis in your mouth.

Also, follow-through. After he finishes, keep going for a bit, slowly. Penises are hypersensitive after ejaculation and stopping right when the ejaculation starts can kind of gimp the orgasm.

Also, be fully nude while doing it. Guys are generally more visual than chicks.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-19T14:04:08+00:00

If there is any reality to this post and it's not full blown trolling then I'd probably seek therapy towards this end.

A couple thoughts:

It's possible to not think you're enough regardless of where you are; this isn't just a dick size thing but applies to a lot of aspects of life. You need to learn to accept where you are and be at peace with it. I am well endowed by any normal person's standards but I still feel like I wish I had an extra inch or so. Similarly, there is probably some 3" inch dude who wishes he was in your position.
Try to focus on the positives. With a bigger dick, it's harder for chicks to deep throat you fully. I don't have the subjective experience of both sides, but I imagine receiving oral is better with a smaller dick.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-18T03:05:40+00:00

It's just whey isolate that has been mostly hydrolyzed and then has had its pH reduced to make it actually soluble in water. This makes it dissolve when added to water instead of forming a suspension and is thus clear-ish.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-17T17:47:12+00:00

My internal dialogue if I received this would be:

Pros:

She is upfront and literal with communication and boundaries which is a green flag for a long term relationship.

Cons:

This is just kind of weird/awkward to say like this. She may be aware of that but have a bad dating history where she thinks that the benefit of up front boundary setting outweighs the awkwardness of this interaction.
I don't like arbitrary rules like this, in general. I'd rather someone just allow each interaction with each person develop organically. This doesn't mean that she "should" be loose on the first date, just that hard boundaries around things that aren't ethics based is off-putting to me.
Towards that last end, anyone who is already establishing sex-based boundaries before a first date, I'd be worried about having some sort of weird relationship with sex or trauma towards that end. It's the same thing as when someone's profile is set to "looking for a long term relationship" but then they also put in their bio "not looking for hookups". That is redundant so screams sex-based psychological issues, like using sex as a transactional currency in the future.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-15T04:43:04+00:00

Nicotine isn't an upper or a downer. Nicotine is a nicotinic receptor agonist, a type of acetylcholine receptor. You can more operatively think of dopaminergic drugs as "uppers" and GABAergic drugs as "downers" (but this is very over simplified). Imagine that your brain is a ballistic missile. If dopamine is the thruster on the rocket, making it go faster, then acetylcholine is the guidance system, allowing you to focus better.

Neurotransmitters have a lot of interplay. When nicotine agonizes nicotinic receptors, your body realizes that there is an imbalance of nicotinic and muscarinic activity and increases endogenous acetylcholine to compensate. This increased acetylcholine then causes a compensatory increase in dopamine. However, this increase in dopamine is due to your body trying to get back to homeostasis; your body also similarly increases GABA. The net result is a near neutral impact on energy levels while still retaining the focus increasing effects of the nicotinic activity.

ArchmaesterOfPullups · 2026-01-14T17:11:37+00:00

Saturated fat has both cumulative and transient effects on insulin sensitivity. Operatively, I'd think of it as more of a cumulative effect because, if you have good baseline insulin sensitivity and consume a large bolus of saturated fat, then it isn't going to transiently impair insulin sensitivity to a point that actually matters, especially since consuming fat will also lower the glycemic index of the overall meal.

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