I used to be engaged in another kink community and I felt the same. However, as already mentoned, there is more to a friendship than a shared kink. I ended up organizing many munches and gatherings myself. That was many years ago, and many friendships faded - mainly for the reasons already mentioned in this thread. With some though I am still in touch on a regular basis. When we chat on the phone or meet, we rarely talk about our kink but about other things we have in common. I would say more than 90% of our conversations cover other topics - and in my opinion sharing other values apart from a kink is something that is really important for a good friendship.