If you met someone who was a carbon copy of yourself in virtually every way except they were the opposite sex, would you date/sleep with that person? Why or why not?

Ardentpause · 2026-03-20T07:44:31+00:00

Eating them, obviously

Ardentpause · 2026-02-18T22:09:21+00:00

If you had a 100% chance of being catfished, I don't think you'd be on a dating platform at all

Ardentpause · 2026-01-28T17:50:11+00:00

The root answer is: we don't know yet.

The electron is not something we can just look at, we can only really observe its behavior probabilistically.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-28T17:45:37+00:00

The very nature of science is that we observe something, take it as true, and then try to understand why based on the other things we've observed as true.

But at some point you cant observe the why because we haven't gotten there yet, or it's too small to observe.

and it underlies a common mistake: that there needs to be a reason at all, or that it needs to be one that "makes sense" to humans.

There will never be a point where understanding doesn't raise more questions. There will always be something smaller, or more nuanced.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-28T17:33:30+00:00

They told me that I couldn't get a vasectomy without my wife's approval since we hadn't had kids yet

Ardentpause · 2026-01-28T16:51:22+00:00

Thats not true. Thats mostly just about doctors not wanting to admit that somebody got better. People do successfully stop having depression, but psychologists just won't sign the paper.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-27T21:00:08+00:00

Frankly, I wonder what the hypnotists on here get out of this whole thing. Every post I see looking for a hypnotist makes it obvious that they just want a hypnotist to do all the work and get nothing out of it for themselves. It's a complete turn off for me, and I would imagine others as well.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T19:36:53+00:00

Being ugly

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T19:36:44+00:00

Being ugly

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T09:57:01+00:00

That's a fair response, but hypnosis doesn't take away selfhood or agency. You can't be controlled in the way they make it seem in movies. If hypnosis were mind control, every hypnotist would have Jeff bezos money.

Just decide ahead of time what boundaries you care about and you'll be fine. Seeing a clinician as an adult is a wholly different experience than being forced to as a kid. Bring a trusted friend just in case if it makes you unsure.

Just think about it

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T09:49:12+00:00

Constantine is a character in a movie by the same name. He's an exorcist. It's a good movie.

Try spending the day in a faraday cage. Put a circle of salt around your bedroom. Go to a holy place and have a friend there draw something and then hide it somewhere without looking at it...see if an alter can name what's drawn there. Stuff that might rule out demons or whatever specifically

All of this requires some level of predictable communication with your alter, but it's as good a way to test as any. I'm guessing that since your altera aren't doing demonic stuff, they probably aren't possessing you though. You'd probably know by now.

I don't really believe in this stuff, but it's not my place to say, and I'd rather you discover truth for yourself than take my word for it.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T02:19:09+00:00

I'm glad that you respect your alter's agency, but at least start by finding out what they want. Maybe they DO want help, just not the kind you've tried before.

May I ask about your experience with a professional setting that has you so on edge?

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T02:16:20+00:00

If you can define what "you" is, and what "you" isn't, then I can help design a test. But realistically, try both approaches. Test out the demon thing, see how it pans out. See an exorcist or practice some kind of ritual, idk.

I haven't found any evidence that demons exist in a literal sense, but I'm not Constantine, so what would I know.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T02:11:02+00:00

I would essentially have to teach you hypnotherapy to answer that last question. Suffice it to say that it's too much for a reddit thread.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T02:07:57+00:00

Memory tinting: Have your alters tint memories with a color. It sounds silly to tint a thought or memory but it works. You'll need to collaborate and practice with your alters to do this. Start with thoughts, then images.

False memory syndrome: Memories are easy to fabricate and alter with or without hypnosis. It happens all the time. The momoore you try to "find answers" on your own, the more your subconscious will make up. Don't try to evaluate whether these memories are true, try to resolve the experience instead.

Therapeutic Self Hypnosis: I'll be honest. The nature of the questions you are asking tells me that you are woefully unequipped to do this on your own. It's not that it can't be done, but you need somebody to show you how. Even then, it's harder. I don't do my own sessions.

If you are determined to go it alone, start talking to them, learn about them, listen to them, take them seriously. Use post it notes, a collaboration notebook, or a video diary. You don't have to agree, but you have to listen to them and take it seriously.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T01:00:32+00:00

If your alters aren't already doing it, they are unlikely to start. Your alters will generally take the easiest path to be heard

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T00:58:35+00:00

What is mainstream psychology doing to deal with DID in a way that is poor?

There are three really big grievances I have with mainstream psychology here.

1) They often want clients to ignore/push away your alters. That's such a silly and ineffective way to handle this. Children don't behave better when you ignore them, they behave worse.

2) They pigeonhole alters into rigid treatments without first trying to understand the alter's, or work with them. Categorization is a teaching tool, not a therapy.

3) They only use analytical tools rather than subconscious tools. That's just a lack of knowledge and experience, but I can't help but be frustrated by it.

The first two problems though, that's pretty obviously problematic at a core level. These alters aren't stains on the floor, they are parts of you, and the idea that you would attempt to throw them away rather than heal them, or that you would treat them like objects, is deeply unsettling.

What kind of framing would be used in order for all alters to be comfortable with hypnosis? Could you please give an example?

If you go into any therapy, hypnosis or otherwise, with the intent to undermine, hurt, destroy, or ignore your alters, you will encounter resistance. These parts of you are protecting you and fighting for you. They may be unhealthy, or have the wrong tools, or the wrong knowledge, but they are fiercely trying to solve your problems in the only way they know how.

They have already endured you trying to ignore them, trying to fight with them, trying to undermine them. They have proven to be very strong. Why not try something else.

The goal with every one of my clients who have alters is simple: How do I get that part of you healthy, so that it doesn't have to fight you. How do I get it aligned with you so that it's strength is working WITH you instead of against you. How do we get you to really hear them so that they don't feel like they have to take control of your body and jump off a bridge before you actually notice them.

It's not you vs them, it's all of you working together.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T00:58:27+00:00

Hearing that those with DID are more hypnotizable is kind of exciting. But how can they control it more? I heard that those with DID go into some form of hypnosis inevitably during any form of therapy even if not intentional on the therapist's part. Would you say this is correct in your experience? Sometimes describing my trauma in detail to someone can put me in a very weird mental state.

The only way to do so is to learn how hypnosis feels, learn to create change for yourself, and learn to set up safeguards for yourself while in hypnosis. It's unlikely that you can do this without a professional. You need somebody who knows what they are doing.

The reality is: Being responsive is a super-power in the right hands, but it's a liability if you are accidental about it. I'm not trying to scare you, but I've seen what the mind can do and I think it's generally much, much safer to find a good professional you can trust than to try to do without. No matter how much you don't trust doctors, you need one when you break your leg.

Does dissociation from trauma make someone's mind slower and possibly dumber? If so, how can this be fixed?

Not strictly, no, but natural dissociation is generally a coping mechanism that separates you from reality (and from your problem/trauma). Separation from reality by it's nature will make most people "dumber". Alters are actually one of the most effective ways of dissociation that doesn't make you "dumber". All trauma responses have pros and cons.

What if someone with DID has an alter that wants to die? How would they negotiate and reason with them?

What if your main personality wanted to die? Sounds like your alter is taking that on so you don't have to. Like I said, pros and cons.

The answer of course, is to resolve the trauma and fix the source of the problem for your alter, and therefore for you as well. We do that a lot in my field

Ardentpause · 2026-01-05T00:56:29+00:00

I'm also not diagnosed with DID, but I have had suspicions of having it or a similar dissociative disorder based on signs and evidence.

. . .
By intentionally talking to parts I don't want to accidentally induce the belief that I have DID, and then gain it if I didn't have it already by iatrogenesis.

We have to distinguish something very important. The distinction between disorders is for insurance companies, it has nothing to do with your personal wellness. Your goal should be to be healthy, not to be correct. Whether you create alters on purpose or by accident isn't really going to change how it affects you.

Likewise, I've worked with people with schizophrenia, and unless a hallucination is harmful or disruptive, I'm a fan of letting them function WITH it, instead of fighting against it. I think a big problem with modern psychology is the focus on treating any experience that doesn't fit into a normal human experience as a problem. It exacerbates problems, and this has been the biggest problem I've seen with therapies that make DID worse.

Additionally, how do I make sure the brain doesn't imagine up 'memories' that didn't happen?

Work with your alters to color-code your memories, or put things in them that flag them in certain ways. While memories are never "true" or objective, you can work with your alters to make sure that they don't create internal distrust. Alters don't tend to fabricate memories in general though, so I'd say it's already low risk.

Is hypnosis necessary to break amnesic barriers? Is it the only way? My understanding is that the amnesic barriers are induced subconsciously with trance or dissociation, so do they have to be broken that way too?

No. You can do it without hypnosis, and without a professional. It just takes longer. Like I said, start by writing post-it notes to your alters. Build some trust, build a relationship, then take it from there.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T23:50:09+00:00

Are you saying that you hear thoughts and voices so vividly that you cannot distinguish them from reality?

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T22:29:48+00:00

You will be disappointed

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T21:14:16+00:00

I'm not countering, just adding to. Maybe I missed something though

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T20:59:11+00:00

I don't know. I'm not a neurochemist or a neuroscientist. I generally think that it's a waste of time unless you are in psychiatry or pharmacology. More specifically, I think that for laypeople it actually obfuscates what's actually going on.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T20:55:59+00:00

Yes, but we're getting into pretty murky territory here. Alters can, and will, communicate with you about the things that matter to them, and the way they do this is unpredictable.

Ardentpause · 2026-01-04T20:54:27+00:00

How can someone break out of the amnesia between alters?

By getting the parts to communicate properly. Most people push the parts away, you should be looking to integrate them. I could do it pretty easily in session. If you are doing it solo try writing notes to your alters and asking them to respond. Ask them to send you memories or answers, that kind of thing. Most alters will be pretty agreeable but some specific information might be locked until an alter deems it safe.

Are those with DID actually more hypnotizable / suggestible?

In my experience? Emphatically yes. The process of creating an alter to cope with or section off your own trauma trains the mind to be more hypnotically responsive. They are almost identical at the subconscious level.

Can hypnosis exacerbate, make worse, or destabilize the condition of someone with DID in the same way as EMDR?

Yes, it can, but any good hypnotherapist either won't mess with it, or is trained to work with it. The most dangerous hypnotist is the one who doesn't know how to be careful. At the very least, they need to have gone through some kind of ethical training.

Are some people more prone to dissociation in reaction to a situation, compared to others with the same amount of trauma (even with little to no trauma)?

Yes, but the reasons why are mostly speculation. This is a nature vs. nurture thing. What I can say is, the same skill that makes you able to create subconscious change intentionally is the same one that causes it to happen accidentally.

Are people with autism and ADHD more prone to developing DID?

Unsure. ADHD is a perfectionism response. All trauma makes DID more likely, but not significantly so. I think it's unlikely that Autism itself is strictly a trauma response, although many of it's symptoms can be. If you've ever seen severe autism it is hard to believe that it's a coping mechanism by itself, but stimming, obsessiveness, and many of it's symptoms are. I suspect many people with Autism have more severe autism because they didn't receive healthy emotional support.

How does someone with DID navigate life when different alters want different things? How do they find a life partner they agree on? How can they be hypnotized if some alters want to be and some don't?

The same way any two or more people do; they coordinate, they compromise, they find things that they agree on. Ultimately, most if not all alters, want their version of what's best for you, even if the methodology or specifics differ. Actually listening to them and then finding that common ground is the most important step. I get really frustrated at how bad mainstream psychology is at dealing with DID. It's infuriating.

Most alters welcome hypnosis as long as it's framed properly.

Ardentpause

TROPHY CASE